I’m Here to Blog

HummersitchOur Vegas adventure is over. Been there done that while in the Nevada desert. Our party consisted of three marrieds and three singles of the male variety. We had two full days to kill and it went quite well I must admit. I had a splendid time indeed. Much of the time was spent observing, but not enough pictures… I took 6 total. Saw a few celebrities and was my usual smart-assed self. There’s some saying about what happens in Vegas stays there so I can’t giveaway too many details. The following remarks were overheard during our 56 hours.

  • Your wife let you come to Vegas?
  • Extra tickets? Extra tickets?
  • You’re married?
  • How about a blow job?
  • Egan? How do you spell it?
  • Are we really paying $300 for six dudes to get in a club?
  • Do you moonlight there?

There’s so much to share, but I best hit the sack since I’m going on about 4.2 hours of sleep. Got up Sunday morning at the same time I went to bed Saturday morning: 5:00 am. Good thing I’m a nightowl and even better that our hotel room’s drapes block out lots of light… and match the carpet.

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

79 Responses to I’m Here to Blog

  1. ChickyBabe says:

    How do you spell Eeegann??

  2. Curare_z says:

    So, Egan, DO you moonlight there?

  3. Dobermann says:

    Wasn’t it Edgar?! I would NEVER pay that kind of sum to get in any place, I mean the bouncer himself should have some extra abilities, like pull rabbits out of his hat or something, for that price!
    Any hotel with drapes matching carpets is worth the money what ever you pay for it. If you get matching linen, that’s too much..

  4. sprizee says:

    The carpets match the drapes. Good to know.

  5. Candace says:

    How do you spell Egan?!?! You should have said “A-e-g-a-i-n.” 😛
    $50 a head to get into the club? Was it because of the girl with 3 boobies?

  6. Mone says:

    Did you moonligth there??

  7. enita says:

    I like this picture very much.

  8. Flounder says:

    E-Tal-Ya, E-Tal-Ya!

  9. ubermilf says:

    Your wife should keep you chained in the basement.

  10. snavy says:

    Nice remarks – hehe.
    What were your wiseass answers??

  11. egan says:

    ChickyBabe – P L A Y E R
    Curare_Z – yes I do and I make really really good tips.
    Dobermann – I have a feeling if you saw the clientel, you may have paid $50/head. I didn’t want to, but it was worth it in the end. Amazing views of the Strip and whatnot, “views”.
    Sprizee – yes, you know what I mean right?
    Candace – the woman with three boobies was a Vegas treat. She disappeared along with all my money.
    Mone – well it depends on where we’re talking about. I will leave it at that for now.
    Enita – I’m sure you do. I said it first though. Please try again later.
    Flounder – yes, Italy did win, but they were clearly outplayed by France. Zidane sure didn’t use his head in the right way. Mad props to Italy.
    Ubermilf – she really should as it’s clear I was roaming Vegas without my wedding ring getting as many digits as possible from cute SoCal babes.
    Snavy – more to come on that later, if you’re lucky.

  12. ~d says:

    WHAT a COOL-ASS looking club! OMIGOD!
    What did your $300 GET you guys?!

  13. egan says:

    ~d – wouldn’t you like to know. $300 gets you a shitload in Vegas with the right crowd. The club was really cool and apparently recently featured on E! We sure can pick them.

  14. enita says:

    I like this picture a whole lot?

  15. egan says:

    Enita – that’s a question? Would you like a stretch HUMMER to drive you and your Fixie around Hotlanta? Please explain.

  16. Anita cracks me the eff up….it’s probably the Italian in her or someting. :p

  17. I said “someting.” That’s good. I must sound like a freaking hick round these parts.
    Anyways, glad you had a good trip.

  18. egan says:

    Blonde Vigilante – what part about Enita is funny? I mean really, she’s just mocking my hilarious comment on her blog. Okay, so maybe it wasn’t all that funny, but yes.
    Something is a tough word to spell. Don’t worry, I’m not a stickler about spelling. Yes, Vegas was the shit. It does help that I got hit on and all that jazz.

  19. L says:

    Glad you had a good time, high rolla. Back to the Pac NW where boobies are shrouded in fleece.

  20. egan says:

    L – that’s very true, but I happen to like the more natural curves. Somehow a woman in her early 40s with a size two waist and triple Ds just doesn’t do it for me. That shit is bananas.

  21. gretchen says:

    So, did you get the blow job or not? Hopefully, the Mrs. accommodated. At least, I certainly hope so. 🙂

  22. egan says:

    Gretchen – ummm … no! I think the stripper was joking, but it seemed to be something many of them joked about. Some of them were like robots, wait robots are fairly intelligent…

  23. gretchen says:

    You mean the wifey was stripping? Wow, that’s quite a gal you have there. HAHA
    I thought maybe your good looks were attracting all those offers. They were foaming at the mouth to get to you (heh,heh, I said foaming)!

  24. egan says:

    Gretchen – very very funny. I briefly dated a couple strippers in my single days. The emphasis is on briefly. Holy shit, one of them was so brain dead. The four or five I “chatted” with in Vegas were no different. It’s really quite sad, but I think it’s an accurate stereotype. (I know there are exceptions to the rule).
    Foaming at the mouth… nice one. I think they approached me because my arms were akimbo and I had a serious scowl. I felt like Yoda or something.

  25. gretchen says:

    Hey, are you following me? Didn’t I just talk to you at my post?
    I hope I didn’t offend you about the wifey. Sometimes, hanging around with ~d can bring out a very crude personality in me.

  26. egan says:

    Gretchen – I’m not easily offended. It’s all good. I knew you were kidding. I will admit to meeting my wife in a danceclub though. Thankfully she was a keeper.

  27. Trick says:

    I am glad to hear you survived Vegas. I hear some people never return….thats why I dont go

  28. egan says:

    Trick – it’s a great test of willpower. That’s how I saw Vegas. I didn’t gamble one bit, but that wasn’t tough. I’m not the gambling type. I do want my own show in Vegas though.

  29. L says:

    I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear you prefer the natural to the superficial. Pamela Anderson is so freaky – and not freaky-good-ha-ha, but freaky-freaky as in my-brows-may-be-permanently-furrowed-and-my-mouth-forever-grimacing.

  30. enita says:

    egan it is a confused rhetorical interrogative response to the last comment you directed at me.
    I would LOVE a stretch hummer to drive my fixie and me around! Can I get one with a “W STILL THE PRESIDENT” sticker on it?

  31. egan says:

    L – I honestly don’t know how any guy prefers fake boobs. Give me curves or the natural body any day of the week over the fake shit.
    Enita – uggh, is that guy still our president? Some jackass on our flight down to Vegas had a Bush/Cheney shirt on. I’m guessing he was headed to the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Stretch HUMMERs are required for strippers with fake boobs. We weren’t talking about that tough were we?

  32. sprizee says:

    Being color coordinated is cool.

  33. enita says:

    Could you please stop talking about my boobs? They were really expensive and I don’t appreciate you making fun of them.
    The FFs I chose make my back hurt, but I look so sexy who cares? Finally men want to masturbate to my image! Unfortunately my face still looks like shit so I can’t live out my ultimate dream – to be a Playmate. As soon as I earn enough money stripping I’m going to reconstruct my face. Then I’ll be set!

  34. peek317537 says:

    You saw strippers? Doesn’t that go against the touch but don’t look rule?

  35. egan says:

    Peek – sure does, but aren’t rules meant to be broken. Just this morning I went 31 in a 25 mph speed zone. I’m such a rebel.

  36. egan says:

    Sprizee – I guess being color coordinated is cool. Imagine owning a house that you get to color coordinate as you see fit?
    Enita – hey, don’t fret… I’ve contacted the powers to be at ABC and they agreed to fix you right up. All you have to do is appear on my blog after the surgery is complete. Deal?

  37. enita says:

    OMIGOD! That is GREAT news! Do I have to let somebody titty fuck me to get that ABC job? Because I’d like to start gettin’ my money’s worth.

  38. egan says:

    Enita – nope, there will be no titty fucking involved. You will become famous throughout the blogosphere and that should be good enough. You and I can host blog variety shoes in Vegas. Augmentation is a great thing.

  39. enita says:

    Wait – did you mention “the carpet” matching “the drapes” in this post? Uncalled for, egan. Uncalled for.
    Wait do I have to wear panties to this thing? I hope not because then toby won’t get with me. Maybe L will do it. But I hear she’s recovering from a wedgie so give it some time.

  40. L says:

    My panties are bunched, but they’re pretty.

  41. egan says:

    Enita – yes, the carpet and drapes did get mentioned. Perhaps it was a tad uncalled for, but that’s how I roll.
    Wearing panties is so passé. What, Toby likes them young? Interesting.

  42. egan says:

    L – hmmm, not sure how to handle that comment. But… let’s go the MC Hammer route, woo ooh ooo, stop, Hammer time. Can’t touch this!

  43. kirk says:

    I know someone who could get you into Pure gratis. Vegas is all about knowing a guy.

  44. egan says:

    Kirk – great help you are now. I paid $50 to get in there, wait… no I didn’t. Someone didn’t get paid back. We saw Mr. Mark Cuban there with Dirk Nowitski and some other tall teammate. It was the shit. I really don’t know enough people. Hook me up man.

  45. Phats says:

    You’re such a vegas virgin, I can’t believe you even went to bed come on! haha
    I think you are safe with what happens in vegas, doesn’t sound like you were too uhh wild

  46. egan says:

    Phats – going to bed at 5:30am is “good”? Okay… I’ll buy that. We closed the club down at 4:30 am when the lights came on. I then ran up and down the strip naked to see if anyone would notice. Of course they didn’t. “Wild” for me doesn’t involved gambling or drugs so I guess I’m good.

  47. L says:

    Should we switch back to boobies?

  48. L says:

    Switchback Boobie! AHAHA!

  49. egan says:

    L – as you see fit? Fake boobs are always interesting to chat about. They are just so fake and shit. I’m sure I’ve offended all my fake boobed readers this time.
    L – Okay, the switchback is complete.

  50. Jacynth says:

    Sveet. You would have been hard core without the black out curtains, though. Ha!

  51. peek317537 says:

    31 in a 25? Sounds like I’ll have to give you some rebel lessons.

  52. Phats says:

    I don’t do drugs either, well i do but they are prescribed.
    hmm I just can’t imagine going to Vegas and not gambling, that’s like going to some world famous beach and staying in your hotel the whole time! Did you see any cool shows? Ride any cool rides?

  53. egan says:

    Jacynth – you do make a tremendous point. I gave up the hardcore stuff a while ago though. They refused to pay me properly.
    Peek – oh really? this I would love to hear.
    Phats – nope, I sat around and picked my nose the entire time. It’s quite fun to do. I didn’t meet any attractive people at all. Just picked my nose and flicked boogers. Question for you my main man, have you ever just sat in a mall and observed people? It’s pretty much the same thing. I’m entertain myself quite easily.

  54. peek317537 says:

    Egan – I’m not sure I want to reveal all my secrets, where is the intrigue in that?

  55. Phats says:

    No I haven’t I would get bored, if i am in a mall i am usually there for a reason not to sit down and waste my day away geesh! haha 🙂 I am glad you had a good time though, and a safe return

  56. L says:

    I see fake boobies, and I just think OUCH. How bizarro is that gonna look when she’s old and wrinkly in her face, but her breasts are still stretched taut? How much will that aggravate her osteoporosis?

  57. Lush says:

    I have loads of Vegas pics mainly from the Hard Rock Hotel pool party. Most of them are from my crotch hunting days. I just sat back, drank margaritas and admired the view. Maybe you have more pics that you just don’t remember taking, Egs.

  58. Dobermann says:

    I don’t know Egan, I usually don’t pay to see other people have fun.. I don’t care if there’s Paris Hilton, Tommy Lee, The Pope and Randy Jackson getting wild.. I just want to have fun and I tell you they must entertain me whole lot for 50 buckers. Get that rabbit out of your thongs, I’d say!
    If I have to pay for a concert, for example, I’m not going to invest anything over 75bucks in it, no matter who is performing. I do go see those gigs if I get tickets free, but not otherwise. In fact I have turned down free tickets too..
    Vegas or not, 50 bucks just to get in is too much. I’d rather spend that money on booze and *-insert your favorite here-* inside, but not just to get in. Not even if I get one free drink with that!
    Did you get any inspirations in there? New triathlon suit with glitter? Disco ball discs for wheels?

  59. mgc says:

    i feel like i haven’t slept in days just reading about this vegas adventure. where is that fucking bar waitress with my drink…

  60. Cherry! says:

    $50 bucks each is pretty expsensive but the club looks AWESOME!! I think I would pay the $50.

  61. RainmanGotSkills says:

    Vegas, I never understood the attraction? And 50 bucks a head for a boob bar is crazy.

  62. Stephanie says:

    Welcome back, although I’m a little dissapointed that you didn’t get arrested.

  63. enita says:

    You know, I think we’ve finally hit upon a subject that we can openly mock without repercusssion – fake tits. No blogger has fake tits. Unless they’re postop transsexuals. Which is a whole other can of worms. I guess we could offend someone with a prosthetic limb. But everybody wants prosthetic foreheads on their real heads. So I think we’re okay.
    These are the things I think about at 10 am instead of doing what I’m paid to do.

  64. Shhhhh, don’t tell anyone…but I have fake tits. Shhhhhh.

  65. party girl says:

    Ah, ideal bar and what-not chatter. It sounds like you had a nice time with your friends. Please, tell me you didn’t pay the $300 to get into the club.

  66. egan says:

    Peek – you’re so mysterious. Fine, have it your way. Speeder!
    Phats – here’s a better example, if you came to Seattle… would you feel obligated to have a coffee here?
    L – and the thought of doing an Ironman with fake boobies isn’t appealing at all. On another blog I have ovaries so it’s only fitting on my own that I have fake boobies.
    Lush – sadly I don’t have any others. I was too lazy to carry the camera around with me in the desert. My buddy took some pics though so I will have to steal his. I love the expression “crotch hunting days”.
    Dobermann – you’re very tough to please. Guess what, I didn’t pay the $50 to get in. My horned out buddy paid for all of us. I did discover that I still have it, if you know what I mean. Guess what, I did entertain myself and others. Give me a show.
    MGC – give her some time, she be there with drinks in a jiffy.
    Cherry – yes, a believer! The club was very cool. I was très skeptical at first, but once I was inside… the eye candy, club scene, and all that other shit going on was totally worth it. You rule! It was confirmed that I’m a silly dancer by the way.
    RainmanGotSkills – welcome to my blog! Um, it wasn’t a tittie bar though. The $50/person was for the enormous nightclub where we saw a few celebrities and shit. It was superdopefly.
    Stephanie – I have a feeling it’s not so easy to get arrested there. I flashed my goods and nobody even noticed. Sucky.
    Enita – that’s a fantastic point. Do any bloggers have fake tits? I have a detachable penis, but no fake tits. Enita, I think you and I have similar work ethics. Well you do some amount of work, you have me beat. I need an entire post dedicated to fake boobies.
    Blonde Vigilante – I will keep it on the down low.
    Blonde Vigilante – my mom knows about your fake boobs.
    Party Girl – technically I didn’t pay $300 to get in. See, it was $300 for all six of us so that amounts to $50/person. And I never paid our buddy back for that. I was so against paying. In hindsight… I would have paid. Damn that club was cool and then there was the other “stuff”.

  67. Stephanie says:

    Other stuff??? Oooo….what other stuff? I did look at the club and it looked super cool. And then I got kicked out of the website because I wasn’t cool enough. And that was uncool.

  68. mgc says:

    i love fake tits! besides, if they are under the skin they are real! numb, numb, numb, numb…

  69. enita says:

    I’d like to know what “other stuff” means as well. Hmm. Egan, did it snow while you were in Vegas?

  70. egan says:

    Stephanie – the club was super cool. They never would kick out a hipster like yourself. They would boot some loser dude like me long before you. They didn’t like my prescription sunglasses all that much and stuff.
    MGC – hmmm, so we have a man that admits to liking fake tits? Please Mr. MGC tell the jury why it is you love fake titties? Is it their buoyancy or their resistence to gravity? We’re listening.
    Enita – not sure I can share every detail of the Vegas adventure. It didn’t “snow” in Vegas, if that’s what you mean.

  71. Flounder says:

    $50 each to get into a club?
    Unless that is a golf club, and you got a cart to go 18 holes, you got screwed.

  72. egan says:

    Flounder – hmmmm. This club was ten times more interesting than the “sport” that is golf.

  73. Roxi says:

    no fair.. I’m jealous

  74. enita says:

    No egan I meant did real snowflakes fall. In July. In Vegas.
    **sigh**
    Of course that’s what I meant. Did you catch any David Cross?
    (my dad calls Las Vegas, “Lost Wages” HA!)

  75. Candace says:

    Did you get palmed by David Copperfield? Did he find your G-spot?

  76. egan says:

    Peek – throw me a bone here.
    Roxi – yep, it was a fun place for a few days. It’s like Halloween or something. You get to be someone you might not be in your everyday life.
    Enita – Lost Wages, how clever. That’s why I don’t gamble. Maybe I should call it Lost Innocence. I didn’t catch any David Cross last night. I fell asleep in front of the tv watching the Tour de France. I was dog tired and still catching up on the Vegas sleep debt.

  77. egan says:

    Candace – David Cooperfield is old news. I hear it’s all about that Lance Burton guy these days. My G-Spot isn’t easy to find and we’ll leave it at that.

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