Mr. Beckham and his cohorts from Real Madrid came to Seattle last night. I know some of you who read this blog don’t know much about the sport we Americans call soccer. So let me explain a bit about it.
- hot soccer players alone have the ability to draw 66,000 to a stadium.
- my legs are more manly than Beckham’s.
- I can’t spike my hair like David can, curls are unruly.
- I make a fraction of the money #23 makes.
- I lost my virginity at 23.
- Beckham has 60,000 web hits vs. the six I have.
- My siblings number six.
- Posh is looking a little haggard these days.
- Beckham’s ass is only slightly nicer than mine, slightly.
- Number nine wasn’t really Beckham’s ass.
Alright so it’s fairly apparent I attended a soccer match last night between Real Madrid and DC United. Wow, it was awesome to see so many soccer fans at the game last night. I loved seeing a sea of cameras flash each time the stars of the game approached the ball. Then there’s the whole Beckham phenomenon. Any time that guy farts, people applaud. The world is his oyster. I saw a sign that said "Beckham for President" in the stands last night. Good thing he’s not a U.S. citizen.
David Beckham’s popularity is akin to a Violent Femmes song in a danceclub or any John Cusack movie. I remember the days when I "clubbed" and a Violent Femmes song, usually Blister in the Sun, would commence. All the women in the club would stop what they were doing and hurry to the dancefloor as if free shoes in their size and color were being handed out. All you would hear is shrill screaming before you were trampled to death by a gaggle of girls.
Or… that John Cusack guy. He drives the women wild too. It’s very hard to find a woman aged 23-45 that doesn’t like him. He’s got this universal appeal, similar to Beckham’s, that I can’t quite figure out. Vive le frenzy I suppose! What is it that makes a woman’s heart flutter when it comes to Beckham, Cusack, and The Violent Femmes?
IRONMAN trivia #9/25: no public nudity is allowed at triathlons. However, the Ironman is the only one that offers changing tents where you can update your wardrobe. Usually you’re stuck wearing the same outfit the entire race, unless you feel like killing some time in transition to put on fresh clothing. At the Ironman you can disrobe your Speedo, put on some comfy bike shorts, lube up, and then peel off your bike clothes before the run. Fresh clothes on a long day are going to feel like a hot bubble bath. I like to match my bike shoes to my bike shorts, my bike shorts to my jersey, and my helmet to my eye color. Go Speed Racer go!