Love Him, Touch Him…

Monkey_1My monkey, Schweetheart™, says hello.  He’s prevented me from blogging all day long by squatting on my keyboard.  He’s cute and all that shit, but he’s got to move sooner or later so I can type up something incredibly lame for this blog.  I coaxed him away from the keyboard by telling him there’s cake in the kitchen here at work.  Schweetheart™ hasn’t been seen since.  You never can trust those Beanie Babies™, as they seem to have their own agenda they like to force down our throats. 

I bet there are even Log Cabin Beanies and political ads for Schweetheart™’s political gain.  Schweetheart™ is endorsed by WWF, Plush Puppies, and the League of Chimp Voters.   4 out of 5 chimps prefer Schweetheart™ over his competitor.  He will not go down without fight and Curious George had better watch out.   Let’s hope the Beanie™ doesn’t come back for awhile so I can actually get some "work" done today.  It’s been a highly productive week until the damn stuffed chimp stopped by.  He cursed me with bad luck today as Yahoo! Messenger was quite uncooperative.  I suppose that’s only fair since I clipped off his tag today, rendering him worthless in the public court of Ebay.


In other news, my wife and I are hosting a college reunion shindig this weekend.  I’m sure there will be requests for a monkey boy appearance.  This might be tricky though since there will be young ones in attendance.  Kids are welcome to the party, but I know not all kids enjoy a grown man hopping around like a complete spaz while making stupid sounds as he pounds his fists on his chest.  There will be some dancing and some reminiscing about our crazy college days.  I bought about 15 songs off of iTunes for the occasion.  I’m not proud to admit I paid $.99/song, but here are some of them:

Good Vibrations by Marky Mark, Poison by Bell Biv Devoe, Waterfalls by TLC, Silent Lucidity by Queensryche, Justified and Ancient by The KLF, Don’t Walk Away by Jade, The Humpty Dance by Digital Underground, Gonna Make You Sweat by C + C Music Factory.

Good times indeed.  All of these songs have very special memories, but none of the memories are as fond as a certain song by a band called James.  I think those smart types out there know exactly which song I’m talking about and the song title should take care of everything.  Anyways folks, have a great weekend.  And remember, when breakdancing, it’s strongly recommended you put a piece of cardboard down before attempting any moves where you spin around like an upside down turtle.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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46 Responses to Love Him, Touch Him…

  1. sprizee says:

    You forgot I wanna Sex You Up by Color Me Badd.

  2. L says:

    And Groove Is In The Heart by DeeLite

  3. egan says:

    Sprizee – lovely suggestion, I will add that to my music list. Have any other suggestions?
    L – oh yes, another goodie that I don’t own. Here I have like 4,000 plus songs on my iPod and don’t have all these gems. I will after tonight though.

  4. celeste says:

    lol! oh boy, good tunes. enjoy the party!!

  5. egan says:

    Celeste – oh the memories of those songs. All the awesome times we spent thinking girls liked us at the dance clubs. We were such dweebs in college. Have a good weekend.
    L – if I can streak in a g-string in front of my family I can certainly rock with my cock out for friends. Oh what a great year 2006 is turning out to be.

  6. Bostick says:

    Im still around here dude. My music is lost in the garbage..

  7. logo™ says:

    I love your monkey, I would offer to touch him and love him but I am scared you might threaten me with Mrs. Les Singes.
    So I will wave politely from a distance, about three hours south

  8. The Grunt says:

    I bet that James tunes has a line in it that goes, “Tie me up and call me pretty!” Am I right?

  9. Phats says:

    Cute monkey, umm he is endorsed by the World Wrestling Federation WHAAA??
    OOO college reunion fun times. Now good vibrations okeh starting to get excited, Poison hello now you’re talking, but what sent me over the edge THE HUMPTY DANCE!!!
    Why didn’t you just download them and burn them to a cd?

  10. Cindra says:

    Have a ball! The kids will love monkey boy. i know mine would. but then, they’re mine, so…
    hey and R is great at breakdancing but a lot younger than we are so he doesnt’ need the cardboard.
    have fun and be sure to get some good blackmail pics.

  11. egan says:

    Bostick – are you the voice of Schweetheart?
    Logo – shame on you for even making that huge leap. Get that mind of yours out of the gutter. Three hours south already? Wow, that’s impressive.
    Great town you’re visiting. I love Portland.
    The Grunt – damn, you’re too good. “You think you’re so pretty…yyyyy”.
    Phats – the WWF is now the World Wildlife Fund and is why Hulk and crew had to change their name. I have an iPod and I pay a buck for each song. I’m not a fan of downloading songs off of sites for computer virus/piracy reasons. Are you doing the Humpty Dance?
    Cindra – the kids will love it, but they will also have nightmares. Your kids must be cool. I use cardboard when breakdancing on abrassive surfaces. I would hate to scuff up my back. I will take photos for sure.

  12. Evil Genious says:

    Sweetheart is adorable!! Will he be guest blogging soon? 🙂
    Good luck with the reunion and have fun!

  13. Amanda says:

    Let’s see – I think I was in 10th or 11th grade when I was first introduced to James…we thought we were so cool singing that song up & down the halls.
    Have an awesome time at your reunion – the kids could learn something if they witness a grown man acting like a complete spaz.

  14. Janice says:

    This bed is on fire with passion and love
    The neighbors complain about the noises above
    But she only comes when she’s on top
    My therapist said not to see you no more
    She said you’re like a disease without any cure
    She said I’m so obsessed that I’m becoming a bore, oh no
    Ah you think you’re so pretty (eeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeee)
    Caught your hand inside the till
    Slammed your fingers in the door
    Bought the kitchen knives and skewers
    Dressed me up in womens clothes
    Messed around with gender roles
    Dye my eyes and call me pretty
    Moved out of the house so you moved next door
    I locked you out you cut a hole in the wall
    I found you sleeping next to me I thought I was alone
    You’re driving me crazy when are you coming home?
    I love that song. I also love ‘Say Something’ and ‘Sit Down’. James rocks.
    One of the sous-chefs in my kitchen, Johnny, would make up the most eclectic CD mixes. He had ‘The Humpty Dance’ on one with Johnny Cash and Rob Zombie. His best friend, Nigel, grew up in NZ and missed some crucial music moments, but boy, does he ever love the Humpty Dance.
    I mean, who wouldn’t? Have fun at your reunion. You should also download ‘Mr Vain’.

  15. egan says:

    Evil Genius – Schweetheart may guest blog, but there’s already another blogger that uses a monkey puppet to blog so I may steer clear. The reunion should be very fun. Now I got to go mow the lawn and weed the yard.
    Amanda – not sure what it is about that James song, but it brings back fantastic memories. If I dance really well the kids will adore me. We’ll see what happens.
    Janice – I’m very impressed. If you recited those lyrics off the top of your head I’d be even more impressed. I love James big time and my favorite of theirs is Seven. Too bad they are no longer together. Your sous chef Johnny does seem to be really cool.

  16. Roxi says:

    dude.. monkeys always dissapear

  17. Melissa says:

    I have that monkey too. He’s so darn cute.
    Enjoy the partaaay

  18. tricia says:

    I ove the tunes!
    What about, “More than Words” by Extreme?
    That was my boyfriend (now husband) and my song in high school 🙂
    I loved Color Me Badd, Marky Mark – but we are missing quite a few other one-hit wonders out there – Where’s Vanilla Ice, dude?
    Anyways, wanted your thoughts on MetroNatural…what’s that all about?
    Take care 🙂

  19. tricia says:

    Oh – and before I forget! Did you see Grey’s Anatomy the other night…when McDreamy said, “I want Seattle. You can have everything else. Just let me have Seattle.”
    I swear I almost cried right then and there — and I thought what a town! 😉

  20. ChickyBabe says:

    i want to hug that moneky! Maybe he can stop me from blogging too. Wait… my teddybear will be jealous!

  21. L says:

    Didja find the groove in your heart?

  22. kayla says:

    Who was that character Mike Myers played on SNL that said that about his monkey? (love him, touch him)
    I have so many memories associated with music. I love that!
    Glad you’re the same way.

  23. Diane Mandy says:

    Sadly, I know the words to most of those songs. I hope the reunion is very entertaining and yields a couple extra posts next week.

  24. tricia says:

    Do any of you remember SteelHeart? I saw them in concert at a dive bar – it was the first date with my hubby. That was an awesome night!

  25. Jennifer says:

    I’m thinking the reunion shindig must have been a big success. Either that or the monkey is hogging the keyboard again.

  26. egan says:

    Roxi – which kind of “monkey” are we talking about here?
    Melissa – you have Schweetheart? I think I have a bigger version of him somewhere too.
    Tricia – how the heck did you hear about our new MetroNatural ad campaign? I think they just launched it last week. Apparently it’s already working. MetroNatural is supposed to replace the “Say WA” promotion for the state. Yeah!
    ChickyBabe – are you looking for a reason to stop blogging? Why can’t you just set that monkey free?
    L – not as much as I would have liked to. Stuff happened that I will explain in my next post. It was a good time though.
    Kayla – music is key to invoke memories. I have a crazy memories associated with various tunes.
    Diane Mandy – a good time was had. Lots of two year olds and yelling, but it was fun to see the young and the old interact.
    Tricia – you need to refresh my memory, SteelHeart? Is that butt rock?
    Jennifer – it was a success yo! I had a restless night sleeping so I’m a tad bit hazy today. Go Mountaineers!

  27. Jen&HerBoat says:

    Ha! My monkey can kick your monkey’s butt!
    Someone gave me a monkey a few years ago – he travels with me now (except I forget him sometimes, like this weekend) and he spent a month in Aus last year with I think, ONE picture I took of him. heh.
    His name is Spank.
    Smoke break in on a road trip to Winnipeg, MB…
    Hanging from the rear view in SW Australia..

  28. Phats says:

    Hmm the humpty dance great memories. I did do the cha cha slide this weekend! Good times.
    Ahh I didn’t know about the whole WWF thing thanks for informing me

  29. Jacynth says:

    I admit, I’ve bought those songs off of itunes as well. Good work!

  30. mez says:

    I am LOVIN’ The KLF 😀

  31. tricia says:

    Egan – Steel Heart was a 90s hair band. Duh!
    As for MetroNatuaral – don’t forget I used to be in PR – and I’m addicted to the news! (Oh, it was on CNN – and they were joking about it.) My question is – what is wrong with capitalizing on the fact you are in the EMERALD CITY!?!!?!?!
    So – now you know 🙂 Oh, and I just want Seattle…that is my new favorite movie line.

  32. Stephanie says:

    OMG, I love the Humpty Dance!! “I look funny, but yo, I’m making money”. Love love love!! Don’t tell anyone!!

  33. vera says:

    i think i’ve seriously blocked out any top-40 radio music of my college years… i never was really into top-40 stuff so i’d have to say that college music was mostly filled by tunes from college circuit bands at the time… arrogant worms; moist; collective soul; amanda marshall; the tea party… but there will always be EVULLL METULLL!! so yah, pink floyd; black sabbath; iron maiden; alice cooper… mmmmm… give me metal or give me… death metal!!

  34. vera says:

    i can’t believe i forgot CAPTAIN TRACTOR!!!!!
    yes yes yes!
    Captain Tractor!

  35. egan says:

    Jen & Her Boat – my monkey stays at work and taunts, fairly uncultured if you ask me. He wishes he could go to Australia. I love your pictures.
    Phats – cha cha slide, I bet you rocked it. Is that the same as the “electric slide”?
    Jacynth – hey, how’s it going? I have so many one hit wonders via iTunes. I love being able to buy one song off an album.
    Mez – The KLF is going to rock you.
    Tricia – I figured they were a big hair band based on the name. I’ve still never heard of them, but I wasn’t a fan of butt rock. The Emerald City nickname was created in the early 80’s and kind of caught on. Our last slogan was “Say WA” so I happen to prefer MetroNatural.
    Stephanie – I won’t tell anyone because it’s not your typical stuff. Hey, stop what you’re doing cuz I’m about to ruin the image and the style that you’re used to…
    Vera – so you were too cool for Top 40 stuff? I flipping you shit. Normally I’m not a Top 40 person either, but you can’t beat the “danceability” of that crap because it’s so poppy. Speed metal eh?
    Vera – I’ve never ever heard of Captain Tractor. Sounds like something they played on Headbanger’s Ball.

  36. Pants says:

    I hope you’re talking about “Laid”. I loved that song. LOVED it!
    So, how was the party? Did monkey boy show up? Did he make the children cry with his chest pounding?

  37. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Hey, now that sounds like fun! I would have a college reunion, but I’m not friends with anyone anymore. No wait… like 3 people. I don’t think that’s enough to have a reunion though.

  38. egan says:

    Pants – read the next post and you will see. Laid is one of like three songs I know 90% of the lyrics too. We won’t discuss the other two songs. Yeah yeah… you got to blame….
    Burr-ee-toe – three people is all? How come? Yes, get together and have a rager.

  39. vera says:

    oh, pop definitely sticks in your head!!! im not unfamiliar with it… it’s just our society is so saturated with it, you can’t help but be familiar with it all… i *did* manage to check out the bars while flying through college and university! although, im surprised i was sober enough to remember any of it…
    yes, i am too cool for school, yo… ehm, i can’t pull that off very well. i can 1337 5|>34|< though! 😉
    and yes… i am a metal-girl…

  40. mez says:

    re: James. I love the song “getting away with it (all messed up)” <3<3

  41. egan says:

    Vera – those math skills of yours are very impressive. I shudder in your presence. I bet you have a Britney Spears album or two. Don’t lie to me.
    Mez – yep, James is golden. I have to check my iPod for that song though. I don’t recognize the title.

  42. vera says:

    i have a cover of Children of Bodum singing “oops, i did it again”… stellar!

  43. peek317537 says:

    I love your monkey, may I touch him?

  44. egan says:

    Vera – I must confess, when that song came out… it was really stuck in my head. The chorus is very catchy and I happened to be managing a restaurant and much of the hired help were high schoolers.
    I ain’t that innocent
    Peek – yes, with express written consent.

  45. Burr-ee-toe says:

    I guess I never really made very close friends because I was one of those dumb girls who focused all her time on her boyfriend. Stupid me.

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