Dress Me Up and Call Me Pretty

GoldilocksHmmm, is this a clue or not to how I look today? Sometimes it’s necessary to improvise when your local retailer nearly sells out all of its Halloween gear. I searched the store and wasn’t able to find what I was looking for. I have a couple opportunities tomorrow to collect my supplies and then the guessing can officially begin.

No, I’m not wearing a Breakout shirt in this very dated photo. It’s simply a funky 70’s shirt I had to wear to school. Very little has changed since that photo was taken, I didn’t dress myself then and I don’t dress myself today. All my clothes were hand-me-downs. Do I really look like I need candy?  Did I look like a logger?

Halloween night meant I’d knock on doors with my brothers, carrying a pillow case to transport the sweets. We’d start knocking on doors as soon as it was pitch dark and wouldn’t stop for for a good 2-3 hours later. It was free candy, can you blame us? Staggering home at 8:30pm or so we would measure our success by weighing our pillow cases and comparing the candy. The candy typically would last us about a month. The mini chocolate bars were consumed first and the boring lollipops were last and may even still be rotting away in some closet at my mom’s house. We dined on fine candies for 3-4 weeks solid and I’m happy to say I have about six teeth left in my mouth.

Stay tuned bloggers for a wicked update as my costume evolves throughout Halloween. Have a safe day gang and remember there’s no such thing as calories or sugar on October 31st. Enjoy the day my little pretties!

Halloween06UPDATE: Okay, here’s a picture of my costume today.  I’m lacking a few key props, but hopefully this will illustrate the point.  It’s important to think a tiny bit outside of the box.  That’s what most of us on the web do anyways.  Good luck and may your Halloween evening be fruitful and full of candy.  No puking please.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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89 Responses to Dress Me Up and Call Me Pretty

  1. ChickyBabe says:

    Le petit Egan est tres mignon!

  2. JohnnyDC says:

    You are going to be a Warrior from the movie, the Warriors?
    denim vest, bare shirt and hot pants, yeah?

  3. Margaret says:

    need to see today costume!

  4. *pixie* says:

    I loved Breakout. The best move was when you broke away one side and the little ball got up on the top row and just bounced back and forth wiping out blocks left and right.
    If you go as a Warrior (via JohnnyDC’s comment) would you be Swan, Cowboy, Cochise, Ajax, Snow, Cleon, Rembrandt or Vermin? Or would you go all out and be Cyrus?
    “Can You Dig It?”

  5. Katy says:

    I wasn’t allowed to trick or treat at all when I was a kid. I have a vivid memory of someone showing up as a stove and always wanted to be one.
    Cry me a river.

  6. snavy says:

    Hurry up with the costume update. This should be all done by now. Slacker.

  7. kayla says:

    Awww..Egan, you were such a cute little fellow!
    We carried pillowcases too..
    You ended up with more teeth than me, however. haha
    Last year, I had bowls of chocolate candy bars and some leftover blow pops I threw in, in case I ran out of chocolate.
    One cute little boy rang the bell,
    and when he saw the blow pops, his eyes lit up and he asked if he could have 2!
    Sooooo cute..I gave him a handful.
    Happy Halloween!

  8. Jill says:

    I mean, you still are, but that picture is freakin’ adorable!!!

  9. Stephanie says:

    Happy Halloween!!
    We went to a party on Saturday that was so much fun, everyone was dressed up GREAT!
    Halloween is da bomb, yo!

  10. Burr-ee-toe says:

    We used plastic bags when we were little, but as we got older we too figured out that pillow cases were the best. My best friend just told me she has never been Trick-or-Treating because she was raised Jehovah’s Witness. That’s just the saddest thing ever.

  11. Cindra says:

    who woulda thunk such an angelic lil’ guy could grow up to be so twisted???

  12. The Grunt says:

    I think I have that same sweater, Egan. I think I have a picture somewhere of me with the “Nicholas” haircut from “Eight is Enough”. That’s who I should go as. Does anyone even remember that show?

  13. Flounder says:

    I always found it more efficient to beat up the smaller kids and take their candy.
    Mom wondered why I got home after about 30 minutes with three bags of candy.

  14. kim says:

    *taps her foot and looks around*
    hmmmmm no egan halloweenie pics yet ?

  15. Phats says:

    Happy Halloween Egan
    Can’t wait to see the finished product.
    BTW I always loved the suckers!

  16. Janet says:

    As I am Minnie Mouse for today, I command that all acquisitions of chocolate chip cookies and cheese be send to me directly.
    OBVIOUSLY Minnie Mouse likes cookies… did you not see that episode?

  17. egan says:

    Party people in the house – I’m gathering supplies for my Halloween costume. I will be back to respond to comments as the day unfolds. Free beer at work today!!

  18. Cake Lady says:

    You were a cutie as a kid.
    Now give us a hint! What’s this great costume.
    I made the front page of the Sunday Paper with my costume here in Huntspatch AL!

  19. egan says:

    Cake Lady – the front page? Wow, that’s impressive. I need to bring my A game to compete with you.
    Minnie Mouse – Janet, that’s pretty cool. Do you giggle often? I think I’ve seen that episode. Cookies are good.
    Phats – you would love suckers. Shame on you.
    Kim – I’m working on the costume right now. Well actually I’m blogging, but you know what I mean.
    Flounder – you’re such a thug. I guess that made you efficient.
    The Grunt – Eight is Enough was the shit. Damn, it was either the Bradys or the family in Eight is Enough. Big families were all the rage when I was a youngster.
    Cindra – shall we “snuggle”?
    Burr-ee-toe – no free candy for you friend. I should start a religion where you free candy every day.
    Stephanie – you are the bomb. I saw your pictures and they were quite lovely.
    Kayla – as an adult it’s great fun to see the little monsters come to the door. I usually give out too much candy in the beginning and run out after three kids stop by. Wasn’t I cute?
    Jill – yes, I had very blonde hair and you can now see why I was teased with the name of Goldilocks. Bastard little peers.
    Snavy – I’ve been busy eating candy. I will get to work on the costume very shortly. I’m a busy guy yo!
    Katy – your parents were mean or were they dentists?
    *pixie* – I’m very very impressed by your knowledge of the characters in Warriors. I loved Ajax, but I do a really mean impersonation of the bad guy with the three bottles. I should record that in an audio file. I love that movie times 10.
    Margaret – you will see it today. Trust me, a photo will follow.
    JohnnyDC – maybe next year. I want to dress up as the baseball team gang and carry a bat around the office with face paint.
    ChickyBabe – merci, je suis certain que tu es mignonne aussi.
    ChickyBabe – go you!
    ChickyBabe – first? Wow, I can’t even remember what that’s like.

  20. Stephanie says:

    Thanks!! I love dressing up! I wish every weekend had a costume party!!

  21. *pixie* says:

    Warriors…Come out to play.
    Warriors…Come out to play-yay.
    WARRIORS…Come out to PLAYYYYY!
    Gotta love the Warriors.

  22. Evil Genius says:

    You were adorable Egan!! Awww, I just want to hug little Egan and pinch his little cheeks!!
    Can’t wait for the halloween costume pictures!! Hope you’re playing safe out there!

  23. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Free candy everyday would be my dream come true. I ate a Nerds Rope earlier today. Have you had those? They’re GREAT!

  24. brooke says:

    If that picture is a clue, then my guess is you are going as one of the members of Hanson. And you’ll be wearing your underoos too, of course.
    Mmmmm bop!!

  25. Katy says:

    My parents weren’t dentists, let’s just call them (actually just mom) Christians … Oy.

  26. *pixie* says:

    Web Developer?
    Web Master?
    Website Designer?
    More clues please.

  27. *pixie* says:

    ISP? (Internet Service Provider)

  28. egan says:

    Stephanie – I know, it’s quite fun to dress up like something odd and get a few interesting looks.
    *pixie* – now I have it really stuck in my head. I bought the dvd last year. I must be honest and say it did lose some luster, but I still adore the movie.
    Evil Genius – “were adorable”? I guess things do change as we age. Now I’m simply a menace to society.
    Burr-ee-toe – Nerds rope? What the hell is that? Free candy, what could seriously be better? Maybe free ice cream.
    Brooke – nope, not a Hanson band member. Can they drive yet?
    Katy – my bad. Christians don’t like sugar or don’t believe in Halloween?
    *pixie* – you’re on the right track with those guesses.
    *pixie* – definitely not an ISP.
    *pixie* – persistence has paid off. Correct, I was a blogger. A logger + web = blogger. I could have used more props as many thought I was a carpenter. I’m not sure how many carpenters wear hardhats though. Oh well, you can’t win them all.

  29. *pixie* says:

    Yay! Does that mean you’ll be sending me an iPod sock?

  30. egan says:

    *pixie* – I do have one final iPod sock left, or is it two? I can never remember. I should have announced a prize for this contest prior to soliciting answers.
    6:35pm: one trick or treater so far.

  31. Phats says:

    I think you need to slut it up, or whore it up which ever you prefer!

  32. vera says:

    You rule!
    PS: 8pm here… -10C… 40+ trick’r’treaters!!

  33. egan says:

    Phats – it’s hard to slut up a blogger costume. It was already confusing enough for my co-workers. Next year I’m dressing as a ghost or a witch.
    Stephanie – you think?
    Vera – thanks amiga!
    7:44pm: three trick or treaters. It’s 41, or 5 Celcius, here in Seattle. Where are all the kids?

  34. sprizee says:

    A pack rat? Sorry, I got distracted by your desk.

  35. egan says:

    Sprizee – ouch. I admit it could be cleaner. I will make improvements to the cluster and then send you a picture. Will this be to your liking?

  36. sprizee says:

    That’s great. Can you point me towards the Advisory Services Department?

  37. Megan says:

    Absolutely adorable pic of you as a kid. Loved it.
    Great costume!

  38. Phats says:

    Did you get any suckers? if you don’t want them pass them my way

  39. Candy says:

    aww, I really liked this post. It reminded me of when I was a kid.
    We used pillowcases, too, and would sit down in the music/sewing room as soon as we got home to dump out the candy and make trades and gloat.

  40. Mone says:

    Wow, you are very creative!!

  41. *pixie* says:

    Hmmm…I thought you mentioned a prize about this post in the “spook you” post. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

  42. Randa says:

    You look so CUTE!!! (in the first pic; not the second)

  43. egan says:

    Sprizee – it’s Dealer Advisory Services. Duh! Now, I have to remove the clutter from my desk.
    Megan – thanks chica. I hope things are going well for you. Is the blog break a welcome relief or not? The costume needed a few more props. Take care.
    Phats – nope, no suckers at all. We had three kids stop by our house and that’s it. What happened to Halloween?
    Candy – we did the same thing. I dumped out my candy aware from my brothers though. I didn’t want them to touch my Dots.
    Mone – thanks, too bad nobody knew I was a logger. Next time I’m bringing a chainsaw and dragging a tree behind me.
    *pixie* – you’re right, I was simply playing stupid though. I only have two socks left, but I would gladly send you one since you did get it right. The future little one could even wear it.
    Randa – très drôle young lady, very funny. Now let me kick your ass.

  44. Margaret says:

    how am I to have Halloween fun with no puking?

  45. egan says:

    Margaret – I’m not sure because I know I’m very very happy when I puke. I suppose that implies I haven’t been happy in about about five years, but that’s probably a good thing. Puking is so overrated.

  46. col says:

    My guess would be that you are a Server.

  47. egan says:

    Col – a server? Like a dead server or something. I was a blogger.

  48. peek317537 says:

    Boys are NOT supposed to be pretty.

  49. egan says:

    Peek – … hence the reason for why I was called Goldilocks as a child. Please try to keep up. I think my mom secretly wanted me to be a girl.

  50. peek317537 says:

    Eg – I have given up trying to keep up.

  51. egan says:

    Peek – why the defeatist attitude? I was only kidding with you, but let’s hope you were being funny with me.

  52. Jess R says:

    I can totally tell that picture is you as a wee tot! Too cute.
    Hope you had a good Halloween! 🙂

  53. Pants says:

    Did you dress up as a PT Cruiser owner for Halloween?

  54. egan says:

    Jess R – so it does look like me and not the Greatest American Hero?
    Pants – nope, I dressed up as a red mustang at the last minute. I’m hella cool like that.

  55. snavy says:

    A web (site) builder is your costume?? Next year, will you be a cereal killer?

  56. peek317537 says:

    Egan – I’m always being funny, that is what I do. Okay, now about that costume, perhaps you said what you were supposed to be but like I said, I’m not keeping up. You look like some sort of deranged beekeeper to me.

  57. egan says:

    Snavy – damn, that’s fantastic idea. I love the cereal killer thing. Makes perfect sense too because I love me some good cold cereals. Trix is the best.
    Peek – I thought you were kidding, but I had to verify. I can totally see the deranged beekeeper thing. I clearly needed more props.

  58. snavy says:

    Silly monkey… trix are for kids.
    Now, Capt. Crunch — mmmmmmmm good!

  59. egan says:

    Snavy – that depends on which Cap’n Crunch we’re talking about. Those crunch berries are good, but those rectangular suckers tear up the roof of one’s mouth. The peanut butter Cap’n Crunch is the bomb. I like the shape of the cereal and the flavor rules. They even have wild berry Cap’n Crunch these days.

  60. ~d says:

    Hullo there Egan!
    How are the white capris?
    I edited and shouted out to you, darling, darling egan!
    ~d heart egan

  61. egan says:

    ~d – how are you? I’ve been a little absent from your blog. You’ve become too popular for me and you don’t need any hyperlink/html help. Sucky.

  62. Amanda says:

    That’s just too funny. Very creative costume!

  63. egan says:

    Amanda – I’m glad you thought so. Props, props, and more props… that’s what I needed.

  64. Bostick says:

    You look like Charlie From Charlie and the chocolate factory in that kid pic dude!
    Maybe, kinda..

  65. kayla says:

    Nice costume Egan!
    You look like a killer beekeeper

  66. Tall Chick says:

    You will always be beautiful to me. (sniff)

  67. Tall Chick says:

    Are those assless chaps??

  68. mez says:

    ooohhh, how cute is the little you? aw.
    Much love to your halloween costume!

  69. Didn’t you play Charlie in Willy Wonka?

  70. Cheryl says:

    Love the costume! Very creative and more effort than my purchased one.

  71. Curare_Z says:

    You had the most wonderful hair as a child. Do you know how much money women spend to get that hair color? 🙂
    And your Halloween costume? Well, it was a lot more creative than my “vampira” style costume. Although, I wish I had been wearing that plastic you have over your head when my friend projectile vomited all over the living room at the end of the night. 🙂
    P.S. Sorry I’ve been so “absent” of late.

  72. Candy says:

    Dots?? I hated dots. I would totally give you all my Dots if I had any right now. I was always trying to trade them off, along with anything coconut (especially Almond Joy – more like Almond Disgust).

  73. Candy says:

    P.S. I made a comment on “pleased to meet you” if you haven’t seen it yet.

  74. Roxi says:

    hehehe.. blogger.. thats fucking great..
    good job..
    props to you!

  75. Lindsay says:

    hope you had a good one!!

  76. Celeste says:

    Aww, cute school pic! I’m confused, you’re supposed to be a blogger?

  77. egan says:

    Bostick – I’m going to take that as a compliment since I love that movie.
    Kayla – the beekeeper thing has been mentioned a few times. Perhaps I could go as that next year and release a bunch of bees as a prop.
    Tall Chick – I see you found the red wine and time to comment.
    Tall Chick – nope, they are normal denim jeans, aka.. my painting pants.
    Mez – thanks teacher. I aim to please. Do I resemble any of your students?
    Jerk of all Trades – welcome to my blog. Hey, that’s a comparison someone made too. Good work.
    Cheryl – it was a bit of work and it only cost me $20 out of pocket. Now what do I do with a hardhat?
    Curare_Z – no Halloween is complete without a little projectile vomiting. Kudos to your pal. Yes, I’ve heard that many times. Lots say that about the curls. “Do you know how many folks pay good money to get their hair curled?” My hair is slowly fading to white/gray these days.
    Candy – you’re a funny one. Dots are the shit. I can’t believe you don’t like a sticky candy which requires a finger swipe in the mouth each time you eat them. Almond Joy has nuts!
    Candy – I will check it out, thanks for the notice.
    Roxi – I try and that’s all I can say.
    Lindsay – no, I hope you had a good one. Right back at ya!
    Celeste – correct a blogger. Logger + web = web blogger or a blogger. Yep, that’s why the costume didn’t go over so well. Explaining a costume is never a good thing.

  78. The Grunt says:

    Whatever it is, it is awesome!

  79. egan says:

    The Grunt – thanks man. I put out more effort than last year. Next year I’m going as Ty Pennington.

  80. Party Girl says:

    I hope yours was awesome!
    I do love me a good Halloween costume!

  81. Tall Chick says:

    I got your costume, but I’m too lazy to see if anyone else did.
    My God, you were a cute little boy.

  82. egan says:

    Party Girl – Halloween was okay. I was bummed we only had three trick-or-treaters. Costumes are fun.
    Tall Chick – yes, a few people did figure it out. I had to give hints though. I should have had more props. I was a cute little kid, I will give you that.

  83. mez says:

    yes, you’re actually a dead ringer for this kid who has an evil streak. He’s always doing shit like squishing oil pastels into the floor and blaming it on someone else. I’m onto you blondies!

  84. ChickyBabe says:

    White hair??? NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

  85. egan says:

    Mez – I was a bit of a hellion, but nothing like this kid in your class. I didn’t even drink until I was 20 years old. I swear I don’t have an evil streak.
    ChickyBabe – okay… salt and pepper hair. I have a bit of white hair poking through, but not much. It will make me look distinguished.

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