So everyday my wife and I carpool to work. I typically drop her off in front of the building and then I park our car in her company’s parking garage. I work across the street from her so this makes life very simple. The garage is a seven story structure with many tight angles. The posted speed limit in the garage is 5 mph.
We all know that’s an impossible speed to drive, but driving through the garage at 20 mph is a bit dangereux. Many pedestrians (and their offspring) make their way to and fro in this parking garage. What’s also ridiculous is how some of my wife co-workers park their cars and tailgate others as they drive through the garage. Some routinely take up two spaces for their behemoth cars/trucks. I find this highly annoying.
In fact there’s this one guy who drives a newer Cadillac who insists on driving through the garage as if he was evading police. Tangent time: well, this cop scenario isn’t really a joke. I saw him pulled over by a cop one morning as I was topping off the MINI with some petrol. The Seattle cop was nice enough to let him off easy, sans ticket. I followed the jerk back to the parking garage and watched him peel out in his then bitchin’ Camaro. What an ass. Tangent over: fast forward to present day and the guy traded his Camaro for a new bitchin’ black, equally shitty GM product, Cadillac. Instead of taking two spaces when parking, Mr. Important parks in three spaces horizontally.
I’ve been working on a way to get back at the fool for a while, but I thought spitting on his door handle was a bit tacky, leaving notes wouldn’t work, and spreading shit on his windshield was too mean. Yesterday the oblivious moron, Mr. Important, parked next to the MINI on my left side. When I went to get the car at lunch for my afternoon swim, I decided it was payback time. I crouched between my car and his car and extended my right index finger. I scribbled "I"m cocky" on the right side of his car. Vindication!! Hopefully it will go unnoticed for a few days. Hey, at least I’m not taking yellow ribbon magnets off cars anymore!