Shrinkage, not that type

Each day I go into work and stare at my computer for roughly eight hours a day. To kick off the new year I decided it was time to organize my computer desktop. Instead of leaving spreadsheets, Word documents, jpegs, and text files all over my desktop. I finally did something about it and consolidated the randomness into folders.

This trivial task got me thinking I should really consolidate other aspects of my life. This digital life of mine is making it tough to keep track of all my internet wanderings. I feel like a piece of me can be found everywhere.

Email. I have the following email accounts: MSN, Yahoo (3), GMail (2), About, Sympatico, Mac, Sprint cell phone, and my work email. Whether or not I know the passwords to half these is another story. My primary email is Yahoo and work. I tend to check MSN a couple times a day and my Mac email is forwarded to Yahoo!.

Calendars. I mark future events, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, and work happenings using these tools. Microsoft Outlook, Apple’s iCal, Yahoo’s Calendar, Sprint cell phone calendar.

Photos. Oh shit, where to start on this one? Um, Yahoo Photos, Apple’s .Mac Homepage, HP’s website, Flickr, oFoto (now Kodak), Typepad’s Photo Albums, and Apple’s iPhoto.

Blogs. This should be another fun one. You all know I have this very Typepad blog, which I enjoy immensely. I have access to two other Typepad users blogs and have three others I’ve started and "maintain". So we have Typepad (5), Blogger (6), and one lowly MySpace "blog", if that’s what you can call that garbage.

Keys. I would guess I have 4-5 keychain rings. My regular keychain has 9 keys. The other keychains rings have duplicates and keys and other assorted keys I have no idea what they open. Throwing away a key is such a foreign concept for me. I don’t think any of the keys open storage units with corpses. "Are you a size 14?" (sorry, that movie line from Silence of the Lambs just popped in my head and I thought I’d share)

Addresses. When it comes time to send out Christmas cards or Thank You cards via the state-sponsored mail service, I fumble. Personal addresses are located in the following spots: Yahoo’s Addresses, Microsoft Outlook, MSN’s Contacts, a spreadsheet I can access on my work and home computer, and in the body of emails where the subject line says "[keep]".

Now if some wise manufacturer could create an ideal device to use all of these things. Laptops are too big for phone calls. Cell phones are too small for instant messaging, usually render shitty photos, and aren’t great for videos. Blackberry’s are cool and all, but they suck for web browsing and their navigation could use improvement. Digital cameras don’t play music and it’s impossible to check on your blog with them. The Fart Machine may* be the only perfect gizmo I’ve owned.

*possible Fart Machine enhancements: smaller speaker, odor, ability to record, and a shuffle feature.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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67 Responses to Shrinkage, not that type

  1. The Grunt says:

    I have tried to keep up with hyperactive women doing the IM on my cell and nearly lost a thumb. I believe that the fart machine is the answer to many of life’s problems, Egan.

  2. ChickyBabe says:

    I never thought men could multitask until now!

  3. Curare_Z says:

    A fart machine with real odor is the best idea I have heard in, well, forever.
    I’m one of the creepy hyper-organized people that labels everything with a label machine. The key is just to get started organizing. It’s addictive. In fact, I think I need to go organize something RIGHT NOW….

  4. Trick says:

    I was really trying to consider a serious solution to the perfect all in one machine until you had to throw in the fart machine. Now I just can’t stop laughing….

  5. *pixie* says:

    Addresses are the worst for me. I have to compile the list for the baby shower and I’ll be seeking out digital files, paper address books, and little tiny return address labels from envelopes. Just quit moving people!

  6. AC says:

    Wow. you’ve got a bunch of hats in the air. But you know our computer, don’t you?
    Can you tell me how to make a recording on my mac that will turn in to an mp3? I was thinking of recording something for Librivox.

  7. meno says:

    Folders! Dear God! Next you’ll start carrying a purse.
    As for fart machines, i want a fart ventriloquist machine. To make it sound like someone else’s fault.

  8. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Wow, you really do have a lot of crap. Don’t worry, you’re not alone. 🙂

  9. Yikes. I have 3 blogs (two for business, one for stepping over) and that is hard enough to maintain. Two email addresses are enough for me…one is for junk, bills, etc. Other for work/personal. That is as complicated as I care to get if I can help it! Mainstream, buddy, mainstream your life!!!! (I keep a paper calendar on my desk in a small book and it is so much easier than electronic!)

  10. Brother #3 says:

    Hola Sherco!
    I can’t believe you gave away the secret! Okay, I’m guessing it’s just down to you and me (and Pres. Bush with his new postal laws) that read your blog(within our family)… so I wasn’t “found out”. Thanks so much for hosting me! Britney Spears couldn’t have done a better job, even if she stayed “awake”!
    Happy New Years!

  11. Brother #3 says:

    your next word to get stuck in your head should be “ebay”…or should that be moms?

  12. Trey Wafer says:

    1 have 8 email addresses and 3 blogs (only 1 of which is maintained)…
    To organize the rest of my possessions I invested in one of those “wife” things… they are fantastic… anytime I want to know something or am too lazy to remember it myself I boot up the “wife unit” and send in a query…
    Classics like: Are you making a sandwich? Are you going outside?
    What are my parents up to?
    If she don’t know it, it ain’t worth knowing…

  13. Jules says:

    Holy crap. Just have all your mail automatically imported into your favorite Gmail account. That solves that problem. Then, install Picassa. It will find every last picture you have and put them all in one place (without disturbing their original places), plus the editing features are awesome. Calendars? Uh, Google has calendars now, too, so you know my vote there. Google also has docs and spreadsheets, so you could move all your addresses there…let’s see…what else? Huh. The keys. Well, you really just need to figure out what all those are for, shouldn’t you? Throw away the rest. Problems solved!!!

  14. egan says:

    The Grunt – yep, I’m right there with you on the importance of The Fart Machine. I have one at my desk I unleash during stressful times.
    ChickyBabe – we’re amazing specimens. I know you know this already since you spend plenty of time observing our behavior.
    Curare_Z – huh, do you have one of those cool Brother handheld labeling machines? Yes, with odor would be the best. Now don’t go steal my invention.
    Trick – I made you laugh? Awesome.
    *pixie* – yeah, I wish people would stop moving too. And for that matter stop changing cell phone numbers, email addresses, and your clothes. Get with the program folks.
    AC – hello and welcome to my blog. Um, you want to make an mp3 recording on your Mac? Have you tried using It’s a great site and is the site I use for my audio recordings.
    Meno – who says I don’t already carry a purse? Men can’t be organized?
    Burr-ee-toe – yep, and somehow it works quite well for me.
    steppingoverthejunk – I also keep a paper calendar. I should have included that in my list. The paper thing doesn’t work so well for me. I like being able to access that stuff from any computer and editing is a snap. No erasing.
    Brother #3 – well hello there sir. Fancy meeting you here. Man, you shared one of my sacred nicknames with the peeps. Not that I really care anyone knows about the Sherco thing. It was nice spending time with you at the house bro. Britney captivates me.
    Brother #3 – Ebay. Yes, I like that word very much. I will make sure mom uses it as a verb. “Egan, I should Ebay a bunch of stuff this weekend“. I’m dreaming again am I not?

  15. egan says:

    Trey Wafer – you must have a lot of time on your hands to maintain all these different accounts. I envy you. Your wife sounds like one of those cool Dayrunner thingies, don’t take that the wrong way.
    Jules – you and your love for shitty Google products. I guess I have to give you credit for being loyal.
    Ramblingmuse – hey you, Happy New Year to you too! Kick ass this weekend.

  16. Burr-ee-toe says:

    My biggest pet peeve is when my mom is trying to be nice and take my car to get washed, but since she’s paranoid, she puts all my stuff in a giant trashbag so I can’t find a darn thing. I appreciate the sentiment, but please stop touching my crap!!!

  17. L says:

    You need David Allen’s “Getting Things Done”. Simplify, yo!

  18. Trey Wafer says:

    Actually, I bought her a Palm Pilot for Xmas so she can do a better job of keeping track of my stuff… I don’t mind thinking of her as a Palm Pilot…
    Google rocks, you are blocking… deep seeded resentment over something, I would imagine… It’s like hating Pork or something, just not right…

  19. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – huh, that’s a bit invasive of your mom. Question: is this technically her car though?
    L – I knew it, you aren’t really a ENFP are you?
    Trey Wafer – they still make Palm Pilots? I had a Handspring Visor forever, but it just couldn’t do everything I wanted and crashed frequently. I don’t like Google because I’m a Mac user… or so this is my excuse. Their products are overhyped and eternally in “beta”. I know you love software.

  20. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Haha. No, its actually my car. Last time she did it I was out of town in Hawaii. Note to self, hide my keys when I leave town.

  21. Hypersonic says:

    D’yuhknow? I only have 2 email addresses. One yahoo which I’ve had ofr 10 years and one gmail which I’ve had for around 2 ( or however long gmail has been around). My head hurt when I had three, and I never keep photos online, I don’t know why. But the rest seems pretty familiar. I have 3 personal sets of keyrings. One with my car and house keys, one with the keys to the beach house and one with the keys to my parent’s house plus duplicates of all the other keys.

  22. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – yep, it’s time to hide the keys. Nobody goes in my cars sans privilege.
    Hypersonic – only two? What about your work email? I’m curious about the photos thing. I do understand folks can get to them and cause problems. However you can password protect all photo sites I know of. I should be a janitor with all the keys I have.

  23. Eunice says:

    Oh my god, and I thought I was bad. In addition to my many e-mails (7), photo sites (4, including my web site), and even user names on my home computer (3 and I’m the only one that uses the darn thing), I also have multiple day timers. No wonder I never know if I’m coming or going…

  24. Chris says:

    Sounds to me like you need a miniature super jumbo deluxe. It’s weird how easily and quickly and efficiently we pollute our lives isn’t it?

  25. Amanda says:

    You had me at fart machine.
    Have a good weekend, Egan!

  26. ms. sizzle says:

    i’m kind of anal about putting my documents in folder but i am ocd like that. you have SO much going on! consolidation might feel freeing.
    stay dry!
    😉 Sizz

  27. Dan says:

    Blowtorch it all into oblivion I say!
    Incidentally, I’m still waiting for that bra from Laetitia Casta that you promised me.

  28. Chicky Pea says:

    Too many accounts to keep track of. I never did Coke, however, Coronas…….. I’m pleading the fifth.

  29. Tall Chick says:

    I’ve lost one friend’s address and need to find the new addys of 2 others (sisters, no less.) Are they in your storage somewhere?

  30. egan says:

    Eunice – multiple Daytimers? We need to get you a PDA of some sort.
    Chris – I love cyber pollution. It’s the best kind. It’s like leaving droppings all over Mt. Rainier.
    Amanda – you should buy one for your hubby. I bet he’d love it. Makes a great Valentine’s Day gift.
    Ms. Sizzle – oh yeah, consolidation could be liberating. I might have to add that to my goals of 2007. The lights have already flickered a few times at our house.
    Dan – oh yeah, you have a great memory. Laetitia does send her love and maybe a bra if you’re lucky.
    Chicky Pea – pleading the fifth eh? Guilty as charged?
    Tall Chick – If you tell me their last name I can find their address for you. I’m talented like that.

  31. Tall Chick says:

    I’ve tried and failed, dude. THe white pages (online) and all that good stuff. The only place I found them was a place where I’ll have to pay to view their addys. Phooey.

  32. egan says:

    Tall Chick – you’re not even going to give me a chance to prove my mad skills? I’m hurt.

  33. Logo™ says:

    Have you seen the enV?
    I have envy

  34. egan says:

    Logo – is that the new Verizon cell phone? It looks cool, but I have Sprint. I’m not that enVious I suppose.

  35. Egan, my keys recently subdivided, like a cell, into three separate rings.
    I occurs to me that the higher one’s status in life, the fewer objects about one’s person. I suspect few if any CEOs, rulers, or heads of state carry keys, or blackberrys, or picture phones, or even fart machines. (Their assistants do all their farting for them.) The Unbearable Lightness Of Being Somebody, I guess. I could live with it.

  36. The Real Me says:

    What you need is a personal assistant to organize this stuff for you… thus freeing you to create more chaos!

  37. MuNKi says:

    Do you really want to prove your mad skills, or were you just trying to get me to email you?

  38. Tall Chick says:

    Blaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh! You know what happened.

  39. egan says:

    Somewhere Joe – thanks for stopping by my blog. Welcome. I love the idea of having an assistant and one that farts for me is even better. How awesome.
    The Real Me – hmmm, that would imply I have an important job.
    MuNKi – huh? I was trying to coerce your better half to email me. I think she told you why right?
    Tall Chick – I’m currently watching the movie Stuck on You, it’s a movie about adult conjoined twins. I feel like I’m dealing with conjoined twins right now with you and MuNKi. You did tell MuNKi what my email was about right? Coolio. You’re the best.

  40. celeste says:

    Whoa. Looks like you’ve got your work cut out for you.

  41. Nessa says:

    A more realistic fart machine would be an excellant seller. Make big bucks.

  42. Katy says:

    Happy New Year! “To kick off the new year I decided it was time to organize my computer desktop.” Wait, what?? Ok, we need to find you a more stimulating job. Seriously.

  43. Les says:

    12 BLOGS!!!!
    run to the doctor…you must have a disease!!!

  44. egan says:

    Celeste – true, but I kind of like the scattered nature of my life. It’s how I operate.
    Nessa – I should do this. I bet someone’s already working on this and ready to make millions.
    Katy – Happy New Year to you as well. Think about my desktop as your garden shed or your car. It’s important for it to be organized. You mean I just need to blog less right?

  45. egan says:

    Les – I have two (this one and my triathlon one) that I maintain with the most regularity. I have access to the other 10 or so, but don’t post there very often.

  46. Hannelie says:

    Goodness gracious me!!!
    You are certainly not scared of technology.

  47. Cindra says:

    Good luck on your mission to organize and economize!

  48. Nessa says:

    If you move fast, you could squeak it by.

  49. farmgirl19 says:

    Okay, Corona or White Zin. Shrinkage sucks!

  50. sandra says:

    Egan…you have a lot of stuff. 🙂

  51. ChickyBabe says:

    You have a MySpace? I created one to play around with it, and gave up after 10 minutes!

  52. Curare_Z says:

    Sadly enough, I do have the Brothers labeling machine. AND, I used it this weekend. 🙂

  53. Why wouldn’t you use gmail as your primary?!

  54. egan says:

    Hannelie – I guess that’s way to put, not scared of technology. I never thought of it that way.
    Cindra – I will need heaps of luck.
    Nessa – are we talking about patents or farting?
    Farmgirl – Corona minimizes the shrinkage.
    Sandra – one could say I have a fair amount of stuff, yes. Good thing it’s a virtual.
    ChickyBabe – yes, I do have one, but it’s mainly to keep track of my niece’s wanderings.
    Curare_Z – I wanted one of those Brother labeling machines so bad when I was in high school. Since I didn’t get one I took a path down Unorganized Boulevard and haven’t been able to find my way back.
    Malnurtured Snay – I will tell you why. I can’t stand Google Mail. It’s a pathetic product compared to Yahoo! At least that’s how I feel.

  55. Pants says:

    My keychain looks like a janitors. I have a hard time letting go.

  56. L says:

    I beg to differ. Us ENFP’s are excellent at both seeing the big picture and recognizing all the little details. I’m just sayin’, maybe you gots too many details. I mean, how many blogs do you have??

  57. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Egan, I made my goal yesterday!!!! 1:58:53!!!!!

  58. Evil Genius says:

    I’m baaaack!! Missed you, Egan, my friend. i hope you had a great New Years and I’m looking forward to catching up on all your posts I’ve missed.
    Now, as to this post, I have to go with Thoreau in regards to my view of life – Simplify, Simplify, Simplify.

  59. Buggss says:

    Egan- the Aussie Prime Minister Harold Holt has been missing since he went for a swim in 1967 – he’s hiding in your stuff,isn’t he ?

  60. Hannelie says:

    Will you be scared of a technology mouse? LOL
    Don’t ask what it is, I made it up, but wondered.

  61. egan says:

    Pants – you know what? It’s alright to cry, let it out darling, let it out.
    Burr-ee-toe – you’re my hero. Good job young lady. That’s a tremendous time. I knew you could eclipse the two hour mark. I’m very proud of you.
    L – are we counting my flair? I really only have three that post to with any sort of regularity.
    Evil Genius – I’m working on the simplifying process. I’m attempting to reinvent myself this year. Expect big things.
    Buggss – this is a very interesting story. I must learn more about this disappearance.
    Hannelie – nope, my fear of those little rodents is gone… crossing my fingers. If I see one again in my basement I may regress.

  62. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Thank you Egan 🙂 My knee was killing me the last couple of miles, but gosh darnit I was determined!

  63. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – running with pain is tough, but when you accomplish your goal it makes it all worthwhile. Kudos to you!

  64. Buggss says:

    Our PM disappeared while swimming,body never found.So we go and name a public swimming pool after him LMFAO !
    “hey kids learn to swim better than our 17th PM ever did!”

  65. Cake Lady says:

    Apple is coming out with something that does everything but fart. But I don’t see that as a problem because I have an engineering mind and could hook something up to this new gizmo that would make fart sounds when pushed or rubbed. Problem solved!

  66. egan says:

    Buggss – that’s wacky story. I can’t believe he never turned up anywhere. I imagine it could be tough to find a body when it disappears at sea.
    Cake Lady – yep, they went to press with the new iPhone a couple days after this post. Naturally I want one, but I don’t have Cingular. Hmmm…

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