No Toddler Left Behind

Toddler Here’s an actual reenactment of something our friend’s daughter, Elodie*, said Tuesday.  Our friend’s daughter is two and a half years old mind you.  Mimi* is Elodie’s grandma and apparently did not provoke her beloved granddaughter. 

·         Elodie sits down at Mimi’s desk in the kitchen

·         Elodie: Mimi I’m having a meeting.

·         Mimi: Okay, do you need anything?

·         Elodie: I need some paper.

·         Elodie pretends to pick up the phone and talk. Scribbles on paper – looks like handwriting

·         Elodie: Mimi, I need some glasses, I can’t see well.

·         Mimi hands Elodie the glasses. Elodie proceeds to write on two more pieces of paper.

·         Elodie: My meeting is over.

·         Elodie hands Mimi the three pages of ‘notes’ and Mimi hangs them on the wall

·         Mimi: What does the paper say?

·         Elodie: Bush is an idiot.

Oh I can’t wait to be a parent after reading this.  Seriously, our friend’s daughter is pretty bright so this interaction doesn’t surprise me in the least. 

*NOTE: permission was granted by Elodie’s parents to share this story.  Names have been changed to protect the innocent.  Well, there’s no point in hiding George’s name since it’s sort of pivotal to the story.  Elodie’s mom made a grave mistake in 2000, voting for GW.  You better believe we still give Elodie’s mom a bad time about her ballot selection to this very day. 

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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37 Responses to No Toddler Left Behind

  1. Kids are so darned cute. I’m really considering popping some out just to keep me entertained.

  2. Leezer says:

    Egan:
    That is precious. I can just see her scribbling away and saying she needs glasses.
    I’m biased – two and one-half year old girls are about the cutest things.
    Mine would color all over herself with red non-toxic pens and tell me to look at her “blubs” (blood). Where did she get that? I don’t know.

  3. egan says:

    Undercover Celebrity – yes, Elodie is pretty damn cute. She’s very entertaining. You should see how she throws books out of her crib.

  4. egan says:

    Leezer – ha, they sure are cute at that age. They also can be a tad difficult, but they don’t really mean to be. I hear that happens in the teenage years.

  5. L says:

    OOOO! This makes me want one, too! She’s saucy!

  6. Ha! Can I get an appointment with Elodie?

  7. egan says:

    L – I think that would be a fair term to describe Elodie. I love it when she points to a spot on the carpet and orders me to stand there while she smacks a plastic golf ball in the direction of my crotch.
    Reverend Sumangali Tania Pink – first of all, welcome to my blog. Secondly, your name is a fun one to type. Thirdly, Elodie is booked solid until February 14th. She’s popular. You available the 15th at 10:30 am?

  8. I suggest you write everything down, once that little one is talking. I write down the priceless stuff and sometimes even blog about it! that is too cute!

  9. egan says:

    steppingoverthejunk – good suggestion. One I’m sure not to overlook when we’re officially parents.

  10. Buggss says:

    Ok Elodie’s education is complete now !
    Ahhh they say kids and animals can sense the wrongness in some people and this just proves it 😉
    Then again GW’s wrongness is just a tad more exposed than most.

  11. churlita says:

    Remember, they’re only cute and two years old for a year. They seem to stay teenagers forever…Or maybe it just feels like it.

  12. Amy says:

    Very bright child and given her current interest in politics, I see the White House in her future.

  13. Lowa says:

    This was AWESOME!!
    Smart kid! My kids have made some classic comments about Dubya as well. Can’t remember any at the moment, but I am sure I have blogged about them:)
    I need to catch up on your blog, have not read it in some time. Didn’t realise you were expecting! HOW EXCITING! Congrats:) Kids are awesome. And for me, very addicting. I would have a few more if I had more money and more help. I figure that now, I need to focus on the ones I DO have.

  14. Phil says:

    America’s future will be in good hands.

  15. Janice says:

    Smart kid. I liked your story. Oh, and I’m a little late in wishing you a congratulations. Kids are fun! Please dress your children in fun Halloween costumes. I rather enjoy having an angry octopus as a niece.

  16. Phats says:

    better becareful or they will stop listening to her CD’s, run over them with bulldozers, and ban her from radio play. Oh wait that’s the Dixie Chicks d’oh

  17. mez says:

    HAHAHAHAHA, I want to teach this child. I can’t wait to see what yours is going to say 😛

  18. Janet says:

    A child’s wisdom is something to be wondered at. They pick up so quickly. Which why I balk at the idea of having any myself.

  19. Curare_Z says:

    Ok — that is one of the cutest stories I’ve heard in a long time. Kids are so amazing….

  20. Tinabellina says:

    Oooh, I love 2 1/2. Such a great age.
    I think Elodie has a future in politics. And meeting having.

  21. furiousBall says:

    that’s great. see, kids surprise you in good ways too sometimes, despite what Louis CK might say.

  22. BV says:

    So her name isn’t Elodie. I was kinda digging that name.

  23. sprizee says:

    Why does Elodie appear to be strapped down to her highchair?
    1) I realize Elodie is not Elodie’s actual name.
    2) I realize the picture of Elodie is not actually a picture of Elodie.
    3) How’s my hair?

  24. That child is wise beyond her years!

  25. Amber says:

    She sounds like a contestant to go on that show “Kids Say the Darndest Things.”
    … Wait, is that show even still on?
    Anyway, they always say things that just crack you up. The problem comes in if they start using swear words, in the proper context even, and it’s all you can do not to laugh instead of saying “no! that’s a bad word, you don’t say that.”
    Well, from a parent’s side I guess. Since they’re not MY kid (just little cousins and friend’s kids) I get to sick back and laugh my ass off.
    Yes, I’m sure karma is going to bite me when I finally have kids of my own. Oye!
    That’s cool that you asked for permission to tell the story. I’ve been writing online for about three years now so my family/friends know that anything and everything is subject to appearing on the internet. Hmm, maybe I should consider the whole respectful/polite thing? (haha, I’m mostly kidding).
    Anyway, have a great day. You’ll get used to the fact that I tend to spam the people’s journals I read with my comment(s).
    Sorry, it’s a bad habit I can’t seem to break!

  26. egan says:

    Buggss – I think kids are like dogs and cows which sense earthquakes before they happen. They’re smart like that.
    Churlita – I’m a teenager at heart. I never threw rocks at passing cars, never.
    Amy – I might write her in on the next ballot.

  27. egan says:

    Lowa – very addicting to have kids? How many do you have? I’m one of seven kids and loved the big family. I have no desire to raise more than three kids though. It’s a lot of work and money. I didn’t get nearly the attention I had hoped and it manifests itself on this blog. See how attention starved I am?
    Phil – that’s what I’m sayin’ yo!
    Janice – I didn’t even consider that yet. I will make sure this happens. My mom had me dress as a girl all the time. I swear she wanted me to be a girl and all. Thanks for the well wishes.
    Phats – yes, speaking out against the president is a very bad thing in this free country of ours. Thanks for the reminder.
    Mez – mine is going say weird stuff nobody will understand when s/he isn’t in therapy.
    Janet – don’t be so hard on yourself young lady. You’re hella cool.
    Curare_Z – Bill Cosby has been contacted.
    Tinabellina – the meeting thing cracks me up. I guess it makes sense though since her parents spend many hours in meetings at work and in the home. Mom works from home one day a week and apparently it’s rubbing off on Elodie.
    FuriousBall – that Louis CK dude was on HBO last night. I suppose I should watch him.
    BV – I know, I like the name yet that has more to do with my fascination with the French language and French women.

  28. egan says:

    Ms. Sizzle – I’m not sure I would go that far. Who am I kidding? I think they’re pretty funny except for the 9 year old who stole three cars, stole a passenger’s seat on a flight for Texas, and will appear on national tv tonight. That kid and his mother are bad news.
    Sprizee – you’re much observant than I give you credit for. Are you having a bad hair day? Come here, let me fix it for you.
    Mona – she’s wiser than the president. Oh shit, I better watch myself or I will seriously end up on some government watch list.
    Amber – I don’t think that show is on anymore. YouTube has replaced it. Yes, I asked for permission since I didn’t want the parents to get upset since they do read my blog. I would prefer if Elodie didn’t call me a bad name. She’s a very cute kid let me tell you. She’s used a few bad words and it really is tough not to laugh at her. I have no problems with your comments as I do the same thing with other blogs. Bring it!

  29. JessR says:

    Ha!
    How can I hire Elodie to facilitate my next meeting? Oh, and we’re looking for an office manager. She’d be a great candidate.

  30. egan says:

    Jess R – Elodie is a bit booked these days, but I will definitely let her know you’re hiring. She’d be a great fit.

  31. Brooke says:

    That. Is. Awesome.

  32. Amanda says:

    This is so funny because my boss & I were just discussing the funny shit that comes out of children’s mouths.

  33. darlene says:

    hahahah – I’ve learned my lesson a million times over as to watch what you say in front of the kids..They’re like sponges – they absorb EVERYTHING!

  34. egan says:

    Brooke – she listens to NPR in her spare time. Who can blame her for acting out.
    Amanda – sometimes ABC (already been chewed) food comes out, but sometimes something fun and clever comes out too. Kids are great.
    Darlene – this is why I will only talk like a duck to my children.

  35. I keep reading blog entries about kids saying these amazing things. Well, I’ve finally put it all together. The only possible explanation is that these kids are aliens, and they’re here to take over the world.
    I, for one, welcome our new toddler overlords.

  36. egan says:

    Grumblemurray – kids are our future, treat them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside.

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