Posing for Progress

  • How old are you?
  • Can you say mommy?
  • Are you ready for bed?
  • Did you finish your dinner?
  • What did you learn in school today?
  • Did you knee him in the balls?
  • Do you play any sports?
  • Why do you always stink of chlorine?
  • When do you graduate?
  • Are you going to college?
  • You’re a virgin?
  • Where are you going to college?
  • Is your hymen intact?
  • Why must you call me Jerome?
  • Wanna try a hit?
  • What are you studying?
  • How long have you been in school?
  • What do plan on doing with that degree?
  • Do you have a dollar bill we can roll up?
  • Are you seeing anyone?
  • What does she do for a living?
  • How old is she?
  • When are you getting married?
  • Where are you getting married?
  • Where are you registered?
  • Are you going to have kids?
  • When are you going to have kids?
  • You don’t have a penis?
  • How many kids will you have?
  • Do you own a house?
  • How much did you pay for it?
  • When is she due?
  • Are you getting your wife a "push prize"?
  • What exactly is it that you do for a living?

Italics –> denote questions never asked of me. They’re questions I made up in my head, anticipate being asked, or ones I posed women in my life.  Something like that.

Advertisements

About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Storytelling. Bookmark the permalink.

46 Responses to Posing for Progress

  1. churlita says:

    Here’s some others you might be asked really soon:
    Do you know if it’s a boy or a girl?
    Breast or bottle?
    Are you going to do natural childbirth?
    Are you going to blog about this conversation later?

  2. egan says:

    Churlita – very very good questions. I would add them to the list, but I have a feeling this post will be my longest ever. I had to cut myself off. Perhaps I can do a sequel post and include your excellent entries.

  3. kirk says:

    So people have asked you if your hymen is intact?

  4. egan says:

    Kirk – I’m glad you read the entire post, including the footnote. (nope, I asked a woman that).

  5. Eunice says:

    You forgot an important one –
    Is that your real name?
    I’m sure you’ve heard that one once or twice.

  6. Phil says:

    How about people mentally calculating back from the due date and asking:-
    “So you got lucky on New Years Eve?”

  7. sprizee says:

    This post is brilliant.

  8. meno says:

    I am glad no one ever asked you if your hymen is still intact.
    I know why you stink of chlorine. I like that smell.

  9. Buggss says:

    You forgot the most important !
    Disposable or cloth nappies?
    Go for the cloth ones – they double as great garage rags after 2 years šŸ˜‰

  10. celeste says:

    You’re having a baby? Did I miss that post??!

  11. Amber says:

    Wow… some of those questions are quite tactless. I’m seriously impressed.
    Some say “tactless.”
    I say “blunt.” “To the point.” “Unrestrained by political correctness.”
    You can pick one.
    Of course, all questions asked or answered are subject to the level of sobriety (or lack thereof) involved, degree of comfortableness with the parties, and how consuming the curiosity was.
    You know what they say: Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.
    The point? At least you’ll died a sastisfied man (but not for many, many years of course!).
    Congratulations for being brave enough to ask what’s on your mind, no matter what. I say that’s an admirable trait! šŸ™‚

  12. mez says:

    “is your hymen intact?”
    ROFL, I hope this had something to do with a biology exam rather than an after dinner conversation because that is soooo not romantic šŸ˜›

  13. egan says:

    Eunice – that is a common question or “how do you pronounce it”. I’ve heard that one a bunch of times.
    Phil – very true or just the slight smirk and a nod like “good work sir”. My swimmers can swim and damn that Viagra stuff is magical.
    Sprizee – you’ve been hangin’ with Little Becky I see.
    Meno – I’ve grown very fond of the smell of chlorine over the years. It may explain why I had zero dates in high school. Let’s forget about the hymen thing.
    Margaret – I was attempting humor. This post is supposed to read like questions that have been asked of me during my life. I added a few in the mix that I asked, but I think it only made this post more confusing. My bad.
    Buggss – I can barely keep up on laundry nowadays. I’m leaning towards disposable at this point in time.
    Celeste – ha, you weren’t the only who missed it. The post titled “New Product Tuesday” had a link that some people missed and it contained an ultrasound shot. So yes, I’m going to be a father. My wife is due at the beginning of August.
    Amber – those are questions asked of me with a few (italicized exceptions). I do speak my mind or just say dumb things.

  14. egan says:

    Mez – I’m not proud. I was young and pretty stupid, but yes it is an actual question I asked a woman. I think I was kind of being a smart ass, surprise.

  15. mez says:

    Well ya must have learned SOMETHING about romance to be in the lucky possie you’re in now šŸ™‚ šŸ˜›

  16. What’s a “push prize”?

  17. Karla says:

    And don’t forget all of the annoying people asking your wife how much weight she has gained.
    And then once the baby is born, you’ll get the “have you slept yet” question about 19 times a day.

  18. Amanda says:

    Your sarcastic response to Kirk’s question has made me smile and laugh for the first time this Saturday (I’m not feeling well today). Thank you for that.

  19. Chris says:

    I admit, I’m amused… hope the weekend is treating you well.

  20. egan says:

    Mez – yes I did learn a thing or two about romance. I’m not sure where I learned, but something just clicked around 21-21 years old. I was a late bloomer.
    Malnurtured Snay – I was wondering if anyone would ask about the “push prize”. It’s usually some sort of jewelry you get your wife after giving birth. It’s a new thing for me. I just learned about the term a few weeks ago.
    Karla – you’ve got it right. The weight and sleep questions are very common. I’ve asked the sleep one a lot and now I will watch myself.
    Amanda – thank you for laughing. Kirk just has a way of annoying me sometimes and he knows that.
    Chris – yeah for being amused. Now stay warm you hear. It’s beautiful here in Seattle today. 43 and sunny.

  21. Chicky Pea says:

    So, the questions you posed in your head really mean nothing? LOL.

  22. tori says:

    I stink like chlorine all the time too. No matter how much I shower, the smell just doesn’t go away!
    I never got a push prize and I have 4 kids…maybe I should tell my husband about this.

  23. CSL says:

    And there is a whole other lists of questions you find yourself asking as a parent:
    “Who threw a roll of toilet paper in the toilet?”
    “Where are your clothes?”
    “Did you put this in the dog’s bowl?”
    “Why is there a Batman in my freezer?”
    That sort of thing.

  24. cindra says:

    Did you create this post from the conversations we’ve had?

  25. Tall Chick says:

    Bugs is right. In spite of trying to meet deadlines, my mission tomorrow is to send you linkage on the nappies. Although the cute fitteds should never be used as garage rags. You can actually resell them, LOL! I thought these were Qs you were going to ask Baby Singes. (some real, some fecetious)

  26. Tall Chick says:

    facetious. . . shit!!
    I make joke!! HAHAHAHHAHA! ^_^

  27. kim says:

    Egan!!!!!!!!! WE’RE PREGGERS ????
    I mean you guys are preggers?? Thats awesome …and we were just talking about that šŸ™‚
    Congrats to both of you!! Im so happy for you!! you will be a fantastic Dad… and seriously dude your questions are more disturbing than the real ones by a long shot lol

  28. egan says:

    Chicky Pea – the questions in my head mean everything. They act as my guide in life.
    Tori – I love the smell of chlorine, I really do. Nothing is cooler than oozing out chlorine when you sweat. Push prizes are kind of dumb if you ask me. Shouldn’t it be good enough to have a healthy kid? It’s a bit like Valentine’s Day if you ask me.
    CSL – oh yeah, I remember those questions being asked of me as a boy. Yep, payback will be a bitch.
    Cindra – I told you we weren’t to mention those conversations we had. Just kidding. I’m so lame, but damn was it ever nice out today. We saw two huge bald eagles about three blocks from our house.
    Tall Chick – bring on the links. I’m interested to hear about the cloth diapers. I’m favoring disposables right now. The point of this post kind of got lost halfway through it. Oh well.
    Tall Chick – I was just about to make a spelling correction and then realized you were being silly. I’m most impressed.
    Kim – yes, you can see why I was asking questions now. I’ve been sitting on this little pregnancy thing for about 10 weeks. Thanks for the well wishes parenting wise. Don’t think about those questions too much. I can’t really remember the point of this post. Well, it was to show the progress of one’s life through common questions asked of them. Then I threw in some wacky ones and confused everyone.

  29. Hannelie says:

    Oh oh oh, I’m so excited.
    No, not about the questions, I just went and search for that link, I’m a bit behind in reading blogs and commenting. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! to you and Mrs Blog!!!! Wow, so cute.
    Loved your question post btw too LOL. Go read my Toddler tantrum blog and gear up on some future advice!

  30. Tall Chick says:

    Now I know that you are messing with me, because there is no way you are truly favouring ‘sposies. None. But you almost had me there.

  31. cindra says:

    So an eagle menage a trois? Super cool!

  32. Phats says:

    Where are your answers, the next post?

  33. cindra says:

    Play the word game, Candace!

  34. Cheryl says:

    I know I haven’t been around much, but I swear, I just caught up. Glad all is well with the wife and baby-to-be (congrats!)
    I agree I would like to know some of the answers to these questions…

  35. ChickyBabe says:

    You anticipate being asked if you have a penis…rrright!

  36. sandra says:

    I don’t know what a “push prize” is…and feel like as soon as I learn, I’ll think, “wow, that’s obvious”

  37. furiousball says:

    Do you have any webbed toes?
    Are you a publisher’s clearinghouse finalist too?
    Ever practiced self-immolation?

  38. Burr-ee-toe says:

    I love the smell of chlorine… its better than cologne!

  39. egan says:

    Hannelie – thank you for the well wishes. I will definitely take a peek at your toddler blog. I’m all over baby information these days.
    Tall Chick – make a case for cloth vs. disposables. I’m listening.
    Cindra – yes, the bald eagles wanted me. Duh.
    Jen&HerBoat – that’s a cool widget. I may add that to my blog as we get further along. It still seems a bit too early for it.
    Phats – you’re kidding right? These are questions asked of me as I grew up (or questions I asked of women… there are no answers)
    Cindra – nice, very nice. Now I feel hella guilty.
    Cheryl – thank you. Mother-to-be and fetus are doing just fine. The belly is just beginning to show. Um, there aren’t any answers to these questions. Not to worry, this post was confusing to many.
    ChickyBabe – see that question was in italics meaning it’s a question asked of me. This post didn’t really pack the punch I was hoping it would.
    Sandra – a “push prize” is a souvenir given to a woman after she squeezes a child out her cervix. Typical prizes include jewelry and jewelry. I happen to think a healthy child is the best gift, but there are some that believe a “push prize” is required.
    Furiousball – now you’re in trouble. I had to look up immolation. Hells no I don’t practice that shit, but I would love to see the Publisher’s Clearing House van in front of our house. Do you really believe anyone wins that doesn’t purchase anything through them?
    Burr-ee-toe – chlorine is an aphrodisiac for you eh? I knew there was a reason I liked you.

  40. Burr-ee-toe says:

    haha. Yeah, I had only told Pants about my affinity for anyone who smells like chlorine. I used to always smell the boy across the hall from me freshman year of college because he was on the swim team. Mmm… chlorine…

  41. Phats says:

    SOmeone has to answer them why don’t you! i am not kidding come on here hahahaha

  42. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – did you ever tell that boy you had the hots for him? Just curious.
    Phats – you’re a funny man. Now stop ordering me around or I will send Andy Roddick to kick your ass.

  43. Burr-ee-toe says:

    haha. No, I never got around to that. I was a shy little 18 year old. šŸ™‚

  44. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – … yep, that’s what I was guessing. That’s exactly why I never dated any girls in high school. Damn that shyness!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s