Fast Forward a Year

When I saw those two lines on the pregnancy test in November of 2006, I immediately wanted to come to my blog and share.  Well I did that, but didn’t publish the posts for superstitious reasons.  What you see below is my first true post about parenthood I typed up on December 8th of last year.  Some of it’s a bit personal as I was very emotional at the time.  To be honest, I’m still emotional about the whole baby thing.  For those uninterested in a baby blog post, you can ignore this entry.

Dear Diary,

12/8/06 — Last night my wife and I babysat our friend’s four month old girl, Rhaya.  They’re visiting from out of town and wanted to see a movie.  They asked us if we could babysit since we had previously offered to watch her and we couldn’t reneg on our offer. 

They went to see Borat and we watched Rhaya.  She’s a great kid.  My wife is only six weeks pregnant, but in December of 2007, if all goes according to plan, my wife and I should be parents with our own four month old child.  That’s just so foreign for me to type.  I can’t wrap my head around the fact I will be a parent in about 9-10 months.  Things are going to change. 

Last night was a great preview for us.  My wife had a great time holding their daughter.  We shared time with her and swapped out on the baby duties.  We’ve been babysitting our friends’ kids for about five years now and I’ve been an uncle since I was 12.  Needless to say my wife and I are both very excited about the baby, our own child. 

At this point, six weeks in, it’s very tough.  We aren’t telling too many people since it’s bad luck.  Neither of us are very good at keeping secrets though.  This makes the hush hush nature of the whole experience rather difficult.  Well now that you know, the whole world will know.  As I type this on December 8th, 2006 we are cautiously optimistic.  Miscarriages do happen with a high frequency so we just want each day to pass quickly to get the first trimester behind us.  We’ve told our families and a few close friends.  We’ve tossed around baby names and had longer pillow talk discussions as a result of the changes in our life.

Currently it has been tough for my wife to sleep since her chest is quite sore.  This means she can no longer sleep on her stomach like she used to.  Pains come and go for her.  Nausea was present yesterday and she’s constantly visiting the bathroom, thankfully not for puking purposes.  This is such a transformation for the female body.  I don’t think I will ever understand the entire process of being pregnant, of course that’s because I’m a man.  My pain threshold is low enough, yet I’m doing my best to learn more about pregnancy. 

Rhaya was wonderful last night.  She hardly cried during the few hours watching her.  I could see my wife’s maternal instinct kicking in and it makes me tear up.  Tomorrow, 12/9, marks the 15th year anniversary of the date my brother Eliot’s life ended prematurely in a fatal car crash.  My own emotions have been all over the place thinking about his life cut short back in 1991 and ours, bringing a new person into the world in August of 2007.

I hope hope hope, this isn’t a post I have to delete or keep hidden for various reasons.  I don’t even want to think about that scenario.  We still would like to adopt at least one child.  We’ll make sure we get the first one taken care of before we even cross the bridge of Second Child Thoughts.  If all goes to plan I will be able to publish this post on January 28th.  Thus concludes my first "official" post about a Monkey Boy offspring, one of many I’m sure.


TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES:  Birch, Madison, Lars, and Bertha.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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61 Responses to Fast Forward a Year

  1. Chris says:

    Deep dude. This is really heavy stuff but I am so glad that you are willing to be so open and share these very personal expressions.
    I think the world would be a far more peaceful and happy place if everyone, or at least more, people were more expressive and less repressive.
    I am looking forward to witnessing your journey through this blog and without question will have positive thoughts and prayers throughout.

  2. Claire says:

    Beautiful post hon – really amazing. Oh, and congratulations to both of you! Truly amazing news.

  3. sprizee says:

    But Alder is still in the running, right? [crosses fingers]

  4. Amanda says:

    Words can’t even begin to express how wonderful this post was!! It brought tears to my eyes for I truly felt your love and your fear for your wife and child. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Churlita says:

    Nice post. Very personal and sweet.
    I still remember paying close attention to other babies when I was pregnant, trying to figure out exactly how they worked. It sounds like you and your wife will be a great team.

  6. Chicky Pea says:

    Am I missing something? Why don’t I see one comment saying CONGRATULATIONS!!!! I am with you, I never told anyone I was pg until I reached week 13 because so many things can happen before then. I also have to say that having your own child is nothing like watching someone elses. Egan, I already know that you will be a wonderful Father. Your child will be blessed.

  7. egan says:

    Chris – thanks dude for the kind comments on this topic. This is all new to me so it’s a huge learning experience. Not unlike the start of my triathlons in 2003.
    Claire – I appreciate your sentiments. I’m here to share the male take on this experience. So far it’s been a bit of a roller coaster ride. Yep, me as a father. Picture Steve Martin in Parenthood.
    Sprizee – Alder is still in the running and so is Hemlock, Pine, Cedar, and Larch.
    Amanda – thank you. Perhaps I need to update the category to “facial tissue” too. I’m more than happy to share.
    Churlita – it was interesting to reread this post six weeks later. I can feel the nervousness I felt in those days. It’s still here, just focussing on other things. Thanks Churlita for the kind remarks. I stare at stroller brands.

  8. egan says:

    Chicky Pea – thank you very much for the parenting kudos. I think it will be a fun ride and that my wife and I will balance each other out well. The reason you don’t see Congrats from readers is I broke the news last Tuesday. It was a tricky post though and many didn’t catch my drift. Thank you Chicky Pea.

  9. furiousball says:

    It’s exciting isn’t it? Kids change you all for the good.

  10. Jennifer says:

    Egan, you are going to be such an awesome father. I cannot wait to learn more about this paternal side of you as time goes on. What a beautiful, heartfelt post.
    Consider yourself hugged upon reading this, would you?

  11. mez says:

    aw, you got me choked up. I imagine being pregnant would be such a bizarre thing to go through. I look at my friends who are going through it and realise I can’t really even comprehend it would be to suddenly go from two to three. I think that ‘fear’ and being a bit nervous is part of it too.

  12. CSL says:

    You know your life is going to change, but the vastness of that change is unknowable until you hit it. Not the logistics of it all, which is significant, but the internal change. Reading this post brought tears to my eyes, that anticpating-the-baby time is so magical. You will love that child beyond measure.

  13. Chris says:

    You can certainly call the young Singe “Diaper” as a nickname. You know, as in Diaper _______ (fill in the blank with your last name).
    (How lame am I giving up the joke before giving you a chance to get it for yourself – I really do think more highly of you than that)

  14. Phats says:

    I am so happy for you and your wife egan, I am sure you guys will make awesome parents!
    Maybe you’ll have twins!

  15. tori says:

    This was beautiful! I love that you shared something so personal with all of us! Congratulations, again!

  16. Burr-ee-toe says:

    I’ve talked to women who run marathons and they said that childbirth is easier, so that’s exciting to me! I’m not nearly as afraid of it now!

  17. egan says:

    Furiousball – I had a great childhood so I hope to be able to pass it on. That’s my only goal.
    Jennifer – [hug received] Yep, the paternal side of me is already surfacing. Thanks for reading.
    Mez – there’s definitely some fear involved here. Not that we’re not totally thrilled to be parents, it’s more “hoping nothing goes wrong” and that part is no fun. Can I offer you a facial tissue?
    CSL – yeah, it is a pretty magical time. This is why I hope to get much done in the second trimester so we can enjoy the actual pregnancy and not get too wrapped up in the house stuff.
    Boston Chris – I got your joke. Would those be cloth or disposables?
    Phats – twins have been ruled out at this point. I have two sets of twins in my family though.
    Tori – thank you very much. I had to clear my mind early in December and it really helped to blog about it.
    Burr-ee-toe – really? They said that? I think they are two completely different things, but what do I know. Having trained for a marathon and the Ironman, it was tough. But I could control the level of discomfort. When you’re preggers, there’s no saying how the body is going to feel… or so I’ve heard.

  18. circe says:

    Egan, I am so thrilled to hear this terrific news I can hardly contain myself. You are both going to make wonderful parents and I wish you every happiness on this life-altering journey…

  19. damasta says:

    awww.. congrats to you and your wife! personally, i just got on birth control yesterday.. lol.. to each his own, eh? 😉 it makes me happy, though, to see a loving couple who is actually happy about parenthood, there are too many broken families and unwanted pregnancies in the world.. glad to see you’re happy!

  20. Amber says:

    You had me in tears with this post. The love for your wife and unborn child shine through your words. What a beautiful post.
    You are going to be an amazing father and while I know it’s you that is feeling blessed, your wife and baby are also very, very blessed.
    Congratulations again on impending parenthood 🙂 and thank you for sharing with all of us!

  21. egan says:

    Circe – contain yourself now! That’s an order. I’m here to set the record straight. I’m going to be a father and I will be a strict disciplinarian. No bending of the rules, never. Oh, thanks for the well wishes baby wise.
    Damasta – hey, there’s nothing wrong with birth control. I know it well. Unwanted pregnancies are rough. Just yesterday someone dropped off a baby less than a day old at a church north of Seattle. So sad people have to do this. Imagine if nobody found the child?
    Amber – you’re welcome. You will learn quickly that I don’t mind sharing my personal life. It’s something I’ve done with my friends in real life so not much has changed in the blogosphere. Thanks again for the nice things you said. Facial tissue?

  22. a list for you to come home with if you dont already have it:
    fresh lemonade
    ginger candy to suck on
    body pillow from bed bath and beyond
    (this is critical, it helps get comfortable when nauseous and with the breast dealio, and when her belly gets big, unless you want her draped over you) Tums for the heartburn later on.

  23. egan says:

    steppingoverthejunk – got juice (not lemonade, but o.j.), no ginger candy, body pillow: check (named Kegan), and we have the Tums. See, I’m on top of things. I blame the Couvade Syndrome.

  24. Burr-ee-toe says:

    hmm… maybe they were talking about the pain post running and post baby??? Or maybe they’re just crazy and all drugged up. haha

  25. Roxi says:

    amazing.. really.

  26. Phil says:

    Just when I think you truely are a monkey boy, you go and write this. You must be one of those Jane Goodall smart chimps.

  27. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – you know marathoners that use drugs? Shame on them.
    Roxi – yes, it truly is amazing I’m allowed to be a parent without some sort of parenting certificate.
    Phil – I will work very hard to impress you with my chimp-like actions next post.

  28. sizzle says:

    i’m so excited to watch you go through this process. it is the most amazing thing that can happen, truly. i hope you’ll keep up this on-going list of ruled out baby names. 🙂

  29. *pixie* says:

    I’m so going to enjoy reading about your journey. Congrats again.

  30. Cindra says:

    I remember that…I’m so happy for you two. Oh, boy, can you imagine all the baby posts you will be posting? Don’t apologize. It is natural…you are proud.

  31. cindra says:

    I think you should name him Blue Spruce.

  32. Eunice says:

    Egan, this post makes me all watery eyed — partly for your exciting new endeavor, and partly in reminiscence of my own experience in this arena last year.

  33. kim says:

    no monkey boy jr??
    i love this post, thank you so much for sharing, I can see (with the little tear in my eye) you will be a wonderfully caring father:)

  34. celeste says:

    Congratulations! I wish you nothing but the BEST 🙂

  35. The Real Me says:

    Thank GODDESS you’ve ruled out Bertha!
    What were you thinking?!

  36. ChrisTx says:

    Birch? Bertha? Good calls… Are you going to work your way through French saints, given your love of things France, or perhaps after a Gascon wine or something from the Languedoc region, but I am sure you find something with a bit of a je ne sais quoi.
    Good luck in the all important search, good sir 🙂

  37. Sally says:

    What about Maple? You forgot Maple.
    On another note, CONGRATS! YAY! EXCITING!

  38. Buggss says:

    So you’re still in favour of Hepzibah ? 😛
    Great post,thank for sharing those deep and personal thoughts.
    It’s going to be a roller coaster here on in – just grab hold and enjoy the whole wild ride 😉

  39. ramblingmuse says:

    Oh wow! Congrats!
    I can’t wait to hear about this new series of experiences.
    Hang in there. It’ll be tons of fun, for sure!

  40. egan says:

    Ms. Sizzle – the baby stuff is long road. We’re just underway, so I’m sure there will be plenty for me to share. How’s the niece doing? I will keep the banned baby names coming.
    *pixie* – no, thank you for sharing. It’s been fun to read your updates. You’ve inspired me by what you’ve shared with your readers.
    Cindra – I can imagine all the future baby posts. They’ve been forming in my head at an alarming rate. Yeah, whatever direction this blog takes… I will just run with it. No apologies about the baby.
    Cindra – how about Picea Pungens?
    Eunice – facial tissue? Man I’m running out of these things. I bet it seems like a distant memory, the pregnancy. I need to go back and read some of your archives again. I remember the shock when I first learned about your pregnancy.
    Kim – I’m not a huge fan of the juniors. Since my name isn’t technically Monkey Boy, maybe we name s/he “Singe”. I fear the kid would be in many fights though.
    Celeste – I appreciate it. I’m much more relaxed these days versus how I was feeling about three weeks ago.
    The Real Me – Bertha isn’t very popular these days so I thought it might make a good name.
    ChrisTX – the French names have been mentioned a few times. Unfortunately my last name doesn’t lend itself to French names all that well. My ancestry is British and German. Hans is still in the running and yes it’s because Hans Blix is a hero of mine.
    Sally – you’re right. I did forget maple. There are many more tree names. I haven’t ruled out others. Dogwood is still possibility.
    Buggss – I sincerely hope it’s not too much more of a roller coaster ride. I am sure there are some more emotional ups and downs, but it would be nice if they aren’t so extreme. Thanks for the kind words and taking time to read the post.
    Ramblingmuse – stay tuned, there will be plenty of pregnancy insight over the next six months.

  41. jenny says:

    YAY!!! Congratulations on the exciting news! Birch would’ve been an interesting name, but oh, the teasing… 🙂

  42. Cake Lady says:

    Egan, that was truly a beautiful post straight from the heart. Have you thought about naming your baby after your brother that you lost in the car accident? It seems to me that he was a big part of your life and what better way to remember him everyday. Of course your wife would need to agree on this too. If she doesn’t agree, then what about using your brothers name as your sons middle name?

  43. Kerry says:

    Congratulations Egan! That is fantastic! This will be fun reading about your experiences as we all await the new little Egan… or Eganetta… 😉

  44. egan says:

    Jenny – Tequila Con 2007 look out! I’m coming to get you. Oh man, I’m going to be a wacky father. Tease me all you want, I’m used to it because of my large family. Bring it!
    Cake Lady – we have considered using my brother’s name. However his name has become extremely popular in the past few years, Eliot. Most of the time it’s not spelled that way, but you get the point. Our friends named their cute son Elliot so we’ll have to think about it.
    Kerry – thank you for the well wishes. Egannifer is the female version of my name. I’m not sure if that’s still in the running though.

  45. Curare_z says:

    It’s scary and exciting and amazing all at once, isn’t it? There was a time when I was scared to hold other people’s kids because I was afraid I’d hurt them or break them. Now I can’t wait for my own baby to enter the world.
    You and the Mrs. are in for great changes and great rewards … and that’s just the pregnancy part of this whole parenting thing! 🙂

  46. ubermilf says:

    I haven’t read the other comments, but I’ll add mine.
    Becoming a parent is a bit like this:
    Imagine you’ve dreamt all your life of becoming a doctor. You have visions of saving lives, preventing illness — not delusions of grandeur, but your goals are to help people and ease suffering.
    Finally, you become a doctor, and you do those wonderful things you dreamt of. You also do loads and loads of paperwork and dealing with insurance companies. You didn’t plan on it, but it comes with the territory.
    That’s similar to becoming a parent. You do get all of the wonderfulness and love and everything, but there’s a lot of work involved that you didn’t figure into the equation.
    Like laundry. And middle of the night feedings. And babies who just WILL NOT go to sleep. And stuff.
    I’m here if you need me for anything.

  47. Burr-ee-toe says:

    haha… noooo, I meant drugged up when having a baby so they don’t think its that painful. You know, epidurals and what not. 🙂

  48. L says:

    This is such a special post – thank you for sharing it. But I can’t believe you ruled out Bertha. Think how pleasantly surprised people will be when they meet Bertha and she’s a hottie.

  49. egan says:

    Curare_Z – really? You were scared to hold other kids? Huh. I’ve never had that fear, but I think it’s the uncle at 12 years old thing. I’ve also been around kids so it seems fairly routine. You’re getting so close.
    Ubermilf – that’s a tremendous analogy. The whole caregiver comparison is intriguing. Expect the unexpected is my motto. I will definitely ask you for help should I have any questions. Thanks for the offer.
    Burr-ee-toe – I’m so dense. Assuming an athlete is on drugs is very wrong. It will never happen again.
    L – shall we talk about the merits of Bertha?

  50. msmachine says:

    I am slow to read the news but I wanted to send my congratulations! What an awesome journey you are beginning.

  51. snavy says:

    Congrats Mr & Mrs Les Singes!
    Let the games begin.
    Sorry I’m so belated.

  52. Good for Me says:

    what a beautiful post. congratulations!

  53. Megan says:

    CONGRATULATIONS!!! I am so excited for you. What wonderful news.

  54. egan says:

    MsMachine – yep, we’re very excited about becoming parents. We toured the hospital tonight. Let me tell I’m glad we have six more months to prepare. Thank you.
    Snavy – it’s all good. Belated is fine with me and typically the norm.
    Good for Me – thanks, Jack Bauer would be proud I bet.
    Megan – thank you very much. We’re damn excited and had a hospital tour tonight. It’s becoming very real.

  55. Good for Me says:

    dude – jack would be so proud. you know, family is everything. unless of course there is a suspected terrorist to torture.

  56. egan says:

    Good for Me – My whole family could work at CTU. I want Jack as a sibling, my wife wants him as more than a friend.

  57. Good for Me says:

    that’s awesome. i think i need to chat with your wife!
    hey – quick cycling Q for ya. thinking about getting trainers…any suggestions? wanna spend under $200.

  58. Good for Me says:

    oh, and i’m really having issues with chloe’s hair color. is it just me?

  59. TayRez says:

    OH MY GOD!

  60. TayRez says:

    Sorry. Little carried away there.
    Just… really excited for you guys. 🙂 Really, really, really. I expect you to become one of those obnoxious parents that shows the world pictures of the little one, ‘kay? 😉

  61. egan says:

    Good for Me – sorry I’m finding these comments so late. I think we’ve covered the bike trainer topic. If you have any questions, email me.
    TayRez – thank you. Today, we heard the heartbeat of the child for the first time. It was very exciting. Nothing wrong with getting a little carried away.

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