Amour. This is what Valentine’s Day is all about right? Love. Most importantly I love my wife. She’s a fantastic person and has embraced the oddness that is me for eight point five years. From the night we met in July of 1998, to now, she remains the same wonderful person. She’s easy on the eyes, witty, knows how to make me laugh, is a loyal friend, easy to talk to, hardworker, and… and….
…I have a story to tell about her, but it’s rather embarrassing so I’m going to share. People love to ask, "how did you know she was The One?" I had a few good indications the very night we met in the tiny dance club. Sure we had some marvelous late night conversations after we met. Yeah, we rode in the same car from Chicago to Seattle (2100 miles) and genuinely never got bored or annoyed with each other…
However, it’s beneficial to leave town to see someone out of their element. This meant we would go camping about two hours west of Seattle near the famous Dungeness Spit. I’m a car camping kind of guy. I prefer it since it means we don’t have to think about packing light. Just grab a bunch of crap and hit the road. (of course that’s not what really happens. I fart around for about two hours, make three pitstops within the city limits, and then finally reach 60 mph) At the campground we have a few beers, set up our tent, roast some marshmallows and enjoy our scenic view looking north across the water to Vancouver Island.
The night winds down and we cozy up in our gray two person Kelty tent to stay warm. I’m sure a kiss or two was exchanged which had both of us nice and relaxed. Maybe someone relaxes too much. You know, relaxing in a tent in the middle of a campground is nice and all. We were lying on our backs enjoying the moment. Again, maybe someone was enjoying the moment more than they should have. [pfffttt]
"Excuse me? Was that for real?" I quizzed.
Through the glare of the flashlight I could see a sheepish grin on my wife’s face. Apparently she couldn’t hold it any longer and the lying on her back forced a loud burst of flatulence. I about died, not from the fumes, but from how loud it was and how embarrassed she was. No pun intended, butt it was a wonderful tension reliever. Not to be outdone — about ten seconds later, I returned the favor. I think mine was louder and probably woke some nearby campers.
Yeah, the ice was broken and the floodgates burst open. Her reaction to this event still has me grinning as I type this post. She cracks me up. I know this sounds quite juvenile to bond over, but it was more than that. We had the greatest time that weekend and our budding relationship intensified even more. To this very day, she can hear me grinning. I haven’t a clue how she does it, somehow though… she can hear me grinning. Mrs. Lessinges, I don’t think I’ve stopped grinning, or farting, since the night you asked me to dance in 1998. There are so many great things ahead for us this year and the rest of our lives. You’re the greatest!
TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Elko, Noksu, Peter, Jumoke, Walid, and Ortho.