Pot Pour E

Fine, I will take a stab at it too.  No really, maybe I fathered Anna Nicole’s child too.  I’m throwing my sperm into the ring. 

——–

Why I love my dentist #6: I share the news with him that my wife is pregnant with our first child.  He asks me, "so I assume you’re the culprit?"

——–

Before and after shots of our new dishwasher.  Asko, I’m a happy man.  The electrical problem has been fixed and now I will be washing dishes for the entire neighborhood.

——–

When I was a child I had a knack for bad birthdays.  I usually got in a verbal fight with my dad for some stupid reason.  Therefore I would hide in the nearby woods until I was ready to cope.  The woods were my escape in many ways.   To this day my dad thinks my birthday is a day later than it actually is.  They didn’t have PDAs back then.

——–

Crime continues to be a problem in our ‘hood.  I still have the whole Patrolling the Hood in a Monkey Suit routine on the back burner.  Most recently a Subaru SVX was ditched on our street with the gas siphoned.  Don’t make me go ballistic!

———

I’m currently in the midst of a glasses crisis.  My normal ones I’ve had for four years broke on Sunday, the left lens just popped out when the frame broke.  So currently I’m wearing my meerkat prescription sunglasses everywhere.  It’s a good thing we didn’t have romantic dinner plans last night.

—————-

TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Estrada, Carlie, Denton, Stephanie, Dave, Miska, Monticor, and Thumbalina.

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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82 Responses to Pot Pour E

  1. Gawpo says:

    Do I recall a fairly recent post where you brag about having had the same pair of glasses for four years? Never brag about something unless you are prepared to be ripped free of that status stat. I got my new pair in December after my post about how the lens popped out in a storm and having to go around single-lensed for many days while waiting for the new pair. Well, night before last the screw popped out and so did my new lens. I as pee-oh’ed because this was the second occurrence of the lost screw. I didn’t have a problem seeing or reading (progressive bifocals) because the good eye pulled the weight for the other one. Have you tried? Or is your prescription too strong for that? Mine is not so bad; I don’t require corrective lenses for driving or flying.
    Crime: I don’t live in anything close to a hood. Unless you count wildlife. BUT—I tell people constantly: don’t leave anything of value in your car overnight; write down the plate of any suspicious looking vehicle (get the plate, get the plate, get the plate! It kills me how witnesses report a “red van” as the suspect vehicle in the hit and run they just watched drive away. Sometimes it isn’t possible to get the plate, but we need to make ourselves make it more possible by paying attention when it is). Patrolling in the monkey suit would cut crime by at least 50%, I think. Do it.

  2. Tall Chick says:

    Yeah, I was just talking with someone this morning at TKD about how you NEVER say stuff like that. (her BIL had been saying how he was such a great driver and then had a wreck the next day)
    Dude, my left lens keeps popping out, but so far I have found the screw every time. (should NOT have said that. Damn!) That’s my mundane superpower this week – the ability to locate a tiny, fallen glasses screw.

  3. sizzle says:

    i love shopping for new frames. actually, i need to do that. thanks for the reminder. ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Trick says:

    I think I might be the father too….have as good of a chance as the other jokers at this point!

  5. Trick says:

    I think I might be the father too….have as good of a chance as the other jokers at this point!

  6. Amanda says:

    I’m getting new glasses on Monday. I’m very excited about it.
    Very nice dishwasher.
    Monticor has a pretty sweet ring to it, but I can see how that would be a problematic name.

  7. meno says:

    Go to Costco, or some other place and but at least two pairs of glasses. I have three, and it’s almost enough.
    I am the father. Through a miracle of modern medicine.

  8. jenny says:

    frankly, i think you have a better shot at being anna nicole’s baby daddy than that ancient fake prince married to zsa zsa.
    so… congratulations?

  9. egan says:

    Gawpo – I learned by driving a Honda Accord never to leave anything of value in my car. To this day I still don’t have anything in it. We live in an area that’s going through a transition thus more crime as the gap widens between residents. I’m all about getting license plates. You should know me better.
    Tall Chick – you’re doomed now. I hope you have a backup pair of glasses. I’m putting on my cape now.
    Sizzle – I bought mine at Market Optical in the U Village. Not cheap at all, but they have a pretty good selection.
    Trick – I think Dennis Hastert could be the father. Shit, who hasn’t been ruled out?
    Trick – Typepad is being a real bitch. Duplicate comments are all the rage.
    Amanda – I was so looking forward to new frames in December. I’m still excited, but looking like a meerkat isn’t how I planned to go out. Monticor has an image problem. Yah on the dishwasher.
    Meno – yes, sure that’s who you recommend. I went there and checked out the frames. Ouch, the selection for halfway stylish men sucks. Cheap, but not so cool to wear. You’re the father? I thought Darth Vader was the father.

  10. egan says:

    Jen – yes, congrats are in order. It’s my goal to father as many children as possible in 2007. I need to get busy. Oh hells yeah. Plus I should probably get Mrs. Lesssinge’s approval too.

  11. Leezer says:

    Egan:
    I love the stainless look of your new dishwasher. I once had a house with an old dishwasher in it. For some reason I can’t recall, I decided to take it apart. A few hours and a bottle of wine later it was lying on the kitchen floor in about 5,000 pieces. I just said, “aw, screw it” and I bought a new one.
    Congratulations on fathering Anna Nicole’s child. I hope she got your mental DNA and not her’s.

  12. Phil says:

    Yays for the new dishwasher!
    You made me check that I have my backup glasses, early 1990s horn rimmed specs. Imagine Harry Potter with a gut and male pattern baldness and you’ve got an idea of what they now look like on me.
    I’m in the ‘burbs’ and our major crime is people nicking the recycle bins.
    If I catch that bastard, we’re going to throw down suburban style, with potted palms and attractive but affordable display dishes.

  13. Burr-ee-toe says:

    New glasses are fun, but not when your regular ones are broken. Sorry to hear about your broken glasses. ๐Ÿ˜ฆ

  14. sprizee says:

    Egan, you need to make yourself a scarecrow for your hood. Put the meerkat shades on him and you’ll never have problems again. Only YOU can prevent crimes. Wait, that’s forest fires. Damn it.

  15. caro says:

    Is eyeglass shopping as painful for you as swimsuit shopping is to me? They have some really funky styles out there. I can’t pull most of them off though. Vive le lave-vaisselle! Mon Dieu, quelle invention gรฉniale, indispensable…

  16. Hypersonic says:

    Hey! Where do you live? I recently dumped a Subaru I had stolen and syphned the gas from! Talk about serndup…serendip..cereundi….coincidence!

  17. Maria says:

    Very nice dishwasher … so how many loads of dishes have you done so far?

  18. Katy says:

    The only way to clean that stainless is with Stainless Steel Magic Wipes from Target. Thank god for mom’s advice or we’d still be trying to clean our fridge.

  19. Tall Chick says:

    Listen to Katy. I’m glad to hear there’s something that works. The SS fridge in our last house drove me insane! I don’t think they made those wipes back then. ๐Ÿ˜›
    I have backup glasses but they are no longer decent-looking at all. Knocking on wood now. Yes, wood.
    Wow, is your dentist tacky or what?
    I’m reasonably certain I’m not the father.

  20. Holly Capote says:

    If you’re going to claim credit for fathering Anna Nicole’s baby, I claim credit for mothering the baby!

  21. *pixie* says:

    What is your criteria for eliminating potential names? Do you have a secret list going of ones you like? We’ve had the name picked out since late October but are keeping it a secret until after the birth.

  22. Cindra says:

    Well, I love the dishwasher. Did you get my email this time? or do I have to switch addresses? Sheesh.
    I think you really ought to consider the name CINDRA.

  23. egan says:

    Leezer – that’s funny about the dishwasher. I have torn a few things apart, but nothing as big as a dishwasher. It’s a good learning experience. The dishwasher has stainless steel inside and makes a huge difference.
    Phil – that’s the worst you have? I’m moving to Brisbane. I hope you have a swell time Friday night in your speed dating. Those glasses must not work with your current eyes and hair coverage.
    Burr-ee-toe – I have the new glasses. I’m stoked I don’t have to wear my meerkat sunglasses. Life is good again.
    Sprizee – this is positively the best idea I’ve heard yet. I will pitch the idea to residents at our next meeting.
    Caro – pas exactement. This time I went to a new place. They do a great job matching glasses to a person’s face. I’m pleased with my new pair. My wife bought a pair tonight also. We’re all about great customer service. Donc, est-ce que vous avez un blog?
    Hypersonic – you’re scaring me.
    Maria – deux. I’m so excited it’s running and we can take things easier on the dish front.
    Katy – that’s a great tip. I will pick some of those up next visit to Tar-Zhay.
    Tall Chick – nope, he’s not tacky at all. It was very funny if you ask me. He says tons of funny things. I was dying when he said it. You have to be confident to pull off that question.
    Holly Capote – are you sure you want to sign up for that? Do you have a good attorney?
    *pixie* – we don’t have any criteria yet. We want something a bit different…. naturally since my name is so freaky. We have a girl’s name ready and have shared with a few people, but not too many. We have about 30-40 boys names we like. The names I post here are either very outlandish, too common, or conjure up bad memories of exes.
    Cindra – I really don’t get it. I didn’t get anything from you yet. Are you using “eganf@” the Yahoo! thing. Cindra as a name? Hmm..

  24. Tall Chick says:

    LOL, ok, Obviously inflection, facial expression and all that come into account.
    I thing you should have acted al distraught and tol him she was assaulted but had decided to keep the baby, or that she’d had a fling. Or better yet, that she said it was the dentist’s! The sonogram pinpointed it to her last bout of unconsciousness in his chair.
    But I, like Amanda, am sometimes evil. }:->

  25. The Grunt says:

    Great job on the dishwasher, Egan. I have not had great birthdays, as well. I am starting to believe that I am either still ten, or just easily missed, given that my mother’s birthday is the day before mine.

  26. ChickyBabe says:

    I like your dentist. So what did you reply, “no, it was the milkman?”
    Good to see you haven’t ruled out ChickyBabe as a name. Yet. ๐Ÿ˜›

  27. tori says:

    Your dishwasher looks great. We are in the processof trying to find a new one since ours is not working. I thought I could do without for a while, but washing dishes for all 6 of us, plus the two boys I watch a few days a week is getting old really fast!
    Is that your wife in the picture with you? She’s adorable!

  28. Amanda says:

    Good one, T.C!!! I wonder what his reaction would be if Egan had said those things?

  29. CSL says:

    The culprit. That’s good. That monkey suited patrolling idea reminds me that several years ago there was a scare in India (heard it on NPR) where people were reporting sitings of a “monkeyman.” Sort of a bigfoot-type creature, I think. Is that the look you’d be going for?

  30. furiousball says:

    Let’s not talk about throwing sperm anywhere…ever since Jodie Foster got that gift from the inmate in the beginning of Silence of the Lambs…well, it’s not pretty.

  31. Curare_Z says:

    Did you quip back to the dentist, “now why would you say that?”

  32. sprizee says:

    If that doesn’t work, try those neighborhood watch stickers. P.S. I’ve heard they’re more effective when you pair them with QUARANTINE signs.

  33. Chris says:

    One of my students last semester gave me a “Firends of Luxxotica” coupon which gets me 50% off on a pair of glasses from a number of their franchisees…I still haven’t made the trip.

  34. Churlita says:

    I would be lessed stressed out knowing you’re the father of Anna Nicole’s baby rather than Zha Zha’s husband. Your wife may feel differently about it, though.

  35. egan says:

    Tall Chick – I’m not that evil. Seriously, this guy is the best dentist I’ve ever had. No lecturing about not flossing enough, never tries to get me in for extra visits, and has a great sense of humor. He just does his job and I’m out of there. Dr. Lee rocks.
    The Grunt – oh, that has to be tough when your mom’s is a day before yours. I’m guessing yours got overlooked a bit. I think there was always too much stress on a good birthday.
    ChickyBabe – nah, that would have been funny though. More than anything I was cracking up that he even made the joke. It takes courage and confidence to make that kind of comment. He’s my favorite dentist.
    Tori – life without a dishwasher was okay, but now I feel so much better about things. Yep, that’s my wife alright. The picture was taken about five minutes after I finished the Ironman last year.
    Amanda – why would I want to be mean to the guy? Dr. Lee is a great guy. He was just being funny and not rude. It’s all good.
    CSL – I’m not sure what look I’m hoping to attain. More than anything I want hardened criminals to think twice about visiting our neighborhood. I’m so sick and tired of all the crime. Breaking into a car is one thing, but breaking into houses is far worse. I’m fighting back Vigilante Egan.
    Furiousball – you make a tremendous point sir. That’s a tough image to shake. (pun intended)
    Curare_Z – nah, I was too choked up by his comment to retort.
    Sprizee – the stickers can work, provided you have literate criminals.
    Chris – no matter what, don’t buy from Lenscrafters. They’ve gone downhill since I last bought glasses from them.

  36. egan says:

    Churlita – yeah, that’s a great point you make. Zsa Zsa is a great name. I might have to keep it on our “safe” list.

  37. L says:

    I totally advocate the throwing of sperm. And I totally envy your dishwasher. I was just commenting last night that the main reason I would want one is to really clean my Tupperware out nice and squeaky.

  38. egan says:

    L – that’s top rack stuff. No Tupperwareโ„ข on the bottom rack. Yes, and it does a number on our silverware and glasses. Handwashing the forks isn’t always so sanitary. The same can be said for glasses left out for a day or two.

  39. Amanda says:

    It’s not being mean! It’s just being silly like him! I figured he wasn’t being rude. Dentists have weird senses of humor.

  40. egan says:

    Amanda – I know. I was so flabbergasted by his comment, I couldn’t think of anything to say back. And he was just about to go to town on my mouth. No need to spark up a comedy routine.

  41. mez says:

    we have car hoons around here who rev their engines and do that car screechy thing that all boys seem to be able to emulate using only their voice – HILARIOUS since I live in what is known as old lady central.
    I can’t believe you have JOKES with your dentist. Don’t you realise they’re all evil?
    My back up glasses aren’t that great but it’s okay because I don’t wear my glasses all the time anyway (only if I need to see a display or drive or..go to the movies). I need to get the old eyes checked out soon, it’s been a few years. Who can find the time for these things? I wish they did home visits.

  42. celeste says:

    Damn crime. I feel your pain.
    Dishwasher looks great! I’m sure Mrs. Lessinges is thrilled ๐Ÿ™‚
    Is it your birthday today?

  43. egan says:

    Mez – what are you doing living in Old Lady Central? Are you close to your school or something? Yes, my dentist is the polar opposite of my wife’s old dentist. She had a dentist who quoted scripture and had bible passages plastered all over the walls. She went a couple times and then found a new dentist. I can check your eyes too Mez. It’s just one of the many talents I have. What does this say? “Mezzomatic”
    Celeste – pourquoi? Why would you ask if it’s my birthday today? Nope, mine is May 4th. Crime is a real nuisance.

  44. Phats says:

    I have to admit I keep coming back daily to see the names scratched off. Poor steph, but Phats is still alive! ๐Ÿ™‚

  45. nessa says:

    I am Anna Nicole’s baby’s daddy. I have already submitted my DNA for analysis.
    I am always getting license plate numbers. But I think in my case I may be stalking.

  46. Holly Capote says:

    Yikes, I just realized that by claiming credit for mothering the baby, that means I’ve potentially slept with all or some of the following: Howard Stern, meno, Egan, and Zsa Zsa Gabor’s hubby.
    Is this what they call cyber-sex? If so, it’s a little disturbing.

  47. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Meerkats are so cute though!

  48. Phats says:

    meerkats are cute!

  49. Roximoon says:

    Aww.. I really like stephanie..
    I like siphoning gas too.. thats always fun!

  50. egan says:

    Phats – yeah, I do like the name Stephanie. It’s just not even in the running for our child though.
    Nessa – nah, stalking is when you boil bunnies in their house. You’re fine, just fine. I’m an expert on stalking.
    Holly Capote – yes, I wondered about that admission of yours. I’m glad you feel really comfortable here and all, but that may be taking it a bit far. (kidding) Cyber sex can be defined in so many ways. We shouldn’t limit ourselves.
    Burr-ee-toe – yes, they are absolutely adorable. The best part is they all live together in this thing called a “manor”.
    Phats – are you flirting with Burr-ee-toe again? I know you dig her abs of steel.
    Roximoon – it’s not that we don’t like the name, it’s just not going to make the cut. Siphoning gas can be very dangerous to your health especially if you smoke.

  51. Evil Genius says:

    Your dentist rocks! ๐Ÿ™‚

  52. egan says:

    Evil Genious – seriously, the guy is a stud. Never upsells me on useless visits, makes great jokes, and gets my teeth clean in about 30 minutes. I love the guy.

  53. Tall Chick says:

    I miss having a good dentist. Maybe I’ll just look for a hot one and hang the technique.

  54. Cindra says:

    Tall Chick, my oral surgeon was the best…he was a handsome islander man…and very sensitive…I was out in a heartbeat and left with a sore jaw…I wonder what he did?
    Thanks for thinking of me, darling Candace…the teezer story to follow soon. Do you like patterns?

  55. Buggss says:

    After your recent entry re: romantic flatulence,thought you’d enjoy this news item
    http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21240729-2,00.html
    Now you can carbon credit your butt burps!

  56. egan says:

    Tall Chick – a good dentist doesn’t lecture or euthanize. Enough said.
    Cindra – hey, how’s it going Cindra? Remember me?
    Buggss – what’s a carbon credit? Kidding, since the US isn’t part of the Kyoto Protocol we’re not all that aware of cool things like carbon credits.

  57. THUMBALINA!!!!!! HA!
    My friend just had a little girl and named her Leah, which I think is cute. And I met a little girl named Annie Kate. Of course, their personalities make a difference with whether their names “work”.

  58. Chicky Pea says:

    Hey, I IM’d you. Humor me and don’t make me work so hard, okay? ๐Ÿ™‚

  59. naynayfazz says:

    I can’t believe you have so many comments on your blog. What is your secret?
    Your blog is funny. I must come by more often and visit. ๐Ÿ™‚
    By the way, I responded to your comment about me being single on Leezer’s blog. he he

  60. snavy says:

    Did you have more to this post? I kinda got stuck at the ‘throwing my sperm into the ring’…
    Then upon commenting I noticed you ruled out Stephanie. Why man … why???

  61. Tall Chick says:

    How about Anakin or Padme?
    You have me dying at “euthanize” ^_^
    Cindra, darling, I predict you’re going to get a sales offer for the video from your very oral surgeon.

  62. Cheryl says:

    Wow…I wish I lived in your neighborhood so you’d wash my dishes. I don’t care about the crime spree.
    Thank you for ruling out Thumbalina. I think the whole world is grateful

  63. Cindra says:

    Hi Egan! How are you? what are you doing today? I’m just hanging out in bed. Candace will be here soon so I can show her my tweezer technique.

  64. egan says:

    steppingoverthejunk – yeah, I think Thumbalina just won’t work. Leah is a pretty name and you’re not likely to see it on the Ruled Out list.
    Chicky Pea – what’s IM? Kidding, I’m not usually on Messenger on the weekends, but if I get a chance… I will instant message you.
    NayNayFazz – hello and welcome to my blog. I see you’re engaged. Yeah, engagement and marriage are great things. I’m not sure I have a secret to the comments. Maybe it’s all about time at work, downtime. Thanks for the visit.
    Snavy – nope, there’s nothing more to this post. It was just a collection of randomness. I ruled out Stephanie because it’s too common. Not that it’s not a good name because it is.
    Tall Chick – I know a real person named Luke Skywalker. We will not be going that route. Yoda is out of the question as much as I do love him.
    Cheryl – do you have Thumbalina dishes I can wash?
    Cindra – I’m glad you asked about me. I’m fantastic. The weather is amazing today so life is good. Oh, and the power nap was the bomb.

  65. Mone says:

    i should have gotten new glasses a while ago, I keep realising that I’m not seeing clearly anymore… but when was the last time I saw clearly?

  66. Kerry says:

    Well hell… you might as well be one of the men who fathered that child!
    Her life has become a three-ring circus. You’re probably the only hope she has for a normal life!

  67. Chicky Pea says:

    I will expect an email from you tomorrow, Sir. Thanks. ๐Ÿ™‚

  68. Dan says:

    Dude, throw away your glasses. It’s really fun to stumble around. And the driving is wicked awesome.

  69. Tall Chick says:

    Woo hoooooooo!!! 69 69 69 is mine!!!!!
    Yoda? Such a weird name for a child would that be!
    I met someone whose little girl was named Chani after the chick in Dune.

  70. Tall Chick says:

    Curses! Hannelie beat me to it.

  71. Tall Chick says:

    Something weird is happening. I don’t show any new comments or posts since yesterday. That can’t be right.

  72. kayla says:

    “so you’re the culprit”
    haha
    Would love to see the look on his face if you said “no, and thanks for bringing that nasty infidelity subject back up”
    Have to say I like your nerd glasses!

  73. darlene says:

    So, I know I’m a girl, but I’m thinking I might claim paternity on that damn baby too… Wicked awesome job on the dishwasher, btw. You and I are in the same boat – I too am having a glasses crisis…Maybe not as bad as yours, but I just want new ones.

  74. mez says:

    okay, you’ve been quiet for too long. come back! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  75. ubermilf says:

    Don’t you love me anymore?

  76. Eunice says:

    Egan, you may very well be the only person who has ever used the phrase, “Why I love my dentist.”

  77. Good for Me says:

    the birthday thing. i can completely relate. i was usually a complete grump on my birthday. not sure why. well, i sort of know why, but no need to bare my childish antics. i’m over it.
    i tried to see Asko just now, but Flickr is having a “massage”. whatever that means. i’ll try again. you did say hello to him for me, no?

  78. egan says:

    Mone – you don’t want me to answer your sight related question do you? Seeing as we’ve never met in person, I’m probably the last person you want addressing you vision stuff.
    Kerry – it’s really quite sad how her last few years went down. I don’t think she has any talent and don’t think she was all that wise, but that was still a very shitty ending for anyone.
    Chicky Pea – you will be expecting an email from me? I should be charging an hourly rate.
    Dan – do you ever get migraines? Have you ever tried driving on one of those? I had to pull off the road and sleep off a nasty migraine about ten years ago. It was dreadful. I stumble around the soccer field though.
    Hannelie – you tagged me? As in blog tag or as in like kids playing in the park tag? I’m not good games.
    Tall Chick – according to my records, you have comment number seven zero and not 69. You’re such a tease woman. Chani, good one. I should name the kid after some Twin Peaks character.
    Tall Chick – that’s right, Hannelie stole the coveted 69 from you. What are you going to do about it?
    Tall Chick – it was right. I got busy over the weekend. Today I was all over the place taking care of stuff on the house. It was my day off and such. We bought a crib off of Craigslist today.
    Kayla – the nerd glasses also double as my triathlon specs/shades. I wore them out one night in Vegas and they seemed to be a hit then too. I don’t get it. I like the way you think about the infidelity line with my dentist.
    Darlene – the glasses crisis has been resolved. I passed that buck to my wife. She has a pair on order and a red pair she just bought she’s going to return. You should throw your hat into the Anna Nicole ring. The more the merrier seems to be the theme.
    Mez – I’m back. Thanks for checking in on me. I got really wrapped up doing stuff this weekend and today we had off because it’s President’s Day.
    Ubie – what’s your comment in reference to?
    Eunice – I came very close to dedicating an entire post to why I love the guy so much, but decided against it. I thought it might bore most folks.
    Good for Me – I did pass along the well wishes last week. Asko returned the favor by cleaning our dishes very nicely. Huh, I will have to check the FlickR link. I’d love to hear your birthday stories.

  79. Tall Chick says:

    What are you gonna do with a crib? Oh yeah, I remember. you can put laundry in them.

  80. egan says:

    Tall Chick – a crib is where one puts a baby so you don’t roll over on it. I know you aren’t a believer in cribs. If you’re not careful, I will stick you in one.

  81. Tall Chick says:

    OMG! How did my kids survive? Oh that’s right. I used to have 8. ^_^
    It does make a good laundry bin.

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