The Great Cake Debate

What would you do when no clean utensils remain? (Disclaimer: if you haven’t read the previous post, you might want to since this is a continuation post) Yes, I suppose I could have eaten the leftover cake with my fingers, but that would let my roommate, Scott, off the hook. I had to prove a point. What would piss him off more than anything else? I could have easily taken the high road and cleaned one fork, assumed my position on the couch, and consumed the delicious chocolate cake.

Nah, that wouldn’t solve anything. So I scanned the counter for anything I could find. Thankfully my friend never put any of his mail in his room. Perfect. I would open one of his pre-approved credit cards and use it to shovel cake in my mouth. My roommate wasn’t pleased I used his credit card as a fork and decided to slap the cake out of my hands after three or four bites. The piece of chocolate cake plummeted to the off-white colored carpet. I was shocked Scott knocked the cake out of my hands, but that’s exactly how it went down.

Most well-adjusted college students would gather the chocolate treat and laugh off this little tift. Not us. The piece of chocolate cake sat in the same spot on the carpet crying out for attention. Neither of us were willing to budge… yes it’s true, I can be a bit stubborn at times. The other two roommates decided to stay out of this incident, side-stepping the downed cake like it was a homocide. That only lasted for two days thankfully as my buddy Tod scooped the cake off the carpet and chucked it off our third story balcony.

Sadly the sorority girl 90210 story was a complete fabrication. I think most readers were able to figure out that was more of a dream than reality. How right you were. I’m certain I’ve pulled the fart in face retaliation many times, however it didn’t occur with this legendary cake event. The great thing is this wasn’t a relationship killer. Scott actually ended up as our internet reverend when my wife and I got married in Maui six years ago. The roommate who threw the cake off the balcony in disgust, Tod, was my best man.


TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Methaniel, Pedo, Shite, Flaturence, Esbeedee, and Gastreau. 


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Food and Drink, Storytelling. Bookmark the permalink.

51 Responses to The Great Cake Debate

  1. mez says:

    men are strange, strange creatures.

  2. mez says:

    oh my god I am first. FIRST!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *laughing maniacally into the cold night air while bats fly overhead*. IN YOUR FACE YOU FIRST PLACE WANNABES!
    okay I really don’t care about being first but that was fun 🙂

  3. CSL says:

    Slapped the cake out of your hand? See, that’s what I meant about you living with goobers. But mez is right, men are strange, strange creatures.

  4. naynayfazz says:

    Darn, I was wrong. But I did enjoy trying to guess.
    Men, strange creatures? Ha!

  5. Amanda says:

    Yay! Now the reasoning behind why you used the credit card is definitely different than mine. But I was right, nonetheless. Suh-weet!
    Oh yeah – Gawpo went a little crazy at my place this weekend. What are we going to do with him?

  6. ubermilf says:

    I change my vote. Karma will curse you with boys.
    Smelly, feral boys with huge sweaty gym shoes, little sense of decorum and even less sense of tidiness.
    You brought this on yourself. And your poor wife. I hope you’re happy.

  7. patches says:

    I don’t think girls recover from cake fights…I can’t believe you guys wasted good cake, but then again I don’t think I could eat it off the floor either

  8. Good for Me says:

    guessed it right, but i’m right there with amanda that my reasoning was off. revenge? would have never thunk it. and yeah, what is it with guys? leaving the cake on the floor for two days? nice one les singes. it stands the test of friendship though that those two guys remained life long friends. that’s pretty spectacular.

  9. meno says:

    I love men. The creativity of using a credit card, someone else’s credit card at that, to eat cake- That’s awesome.

  10. Amy says:

    OK, so I was wrong, but I am impressed by your creativity (and stubbornness). You wouldn’t be a Taurus by any chance?

  11. kelwhy says:

    so am i to understand you wasted a piece of cake to make a point? OMG. That just doesn’t happen with girls…

  12. furiousball says:

    I love uncleaned up crap as a symbol of spite. Unless of course it actually is crap.

  13. Logo™ says:

    I should have knows,

  14. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Yay!! I was right! I kind of thought… what would I do? Scary that I’m on the same page as you.

  15. egan says:

    Mez – you are first. You Aussies have a nice time zone difference with the West Coast.
    Mez – men are strange characters? Don’t make me go there. Yes, this was an odd incident which is why it makes for a great story. I have many more like that from my college days. FIRST! You rock. Panic on the streets of Seattle, I wonder to myself…could love ever be free again.
    CSL – we’re not as weird as you might think. Trust me, I know women can be just as odd. My buddy really liked his pre-approved credit cards and who can blame him.
    NayNayFazz – we’re not strange creatures are we? I think men are totally normal 100% of the time.
    Amanda – I don’t know what to do with Gawpo. Maybe I can eat him with a pre-approved credit card.
    Ubie – yes, I’m very happy. I wasn’t the most obedient child so having a boy could be very interesting. I think my wife still loves me.
    Patches – it was an exercise in stubborness. So you’re saying women can be just as crazy about things as men?
    Good for Me – we’re very good friends still. The stuff we did in college was very juvenile, but makes for great memories. Guys are normal, we really are. Don’t make me share the red lightbulb story though.
    Meno – I think I was made for the show Survivor. I had to eat cake and prove a point at the same time. I achieved both, but didn’t walk away unscathed.
    Amy – huh, yes I am a Taurus. I think I tipped you off to that or it shows in my profile. I might be a tad bit stubborn, but I forgive very easily.
    Kelwhy – the three second rule was out of the question. I’m very glad you put the wink emoticon on the end of that statement of yours.
    Furiousball – it sure does prove a point doesn’t it? You have to stick it to The Man.
    Logo™ – yes, boys and their cake. We want our cake and want to eat it too. We’re such selfish bastards.
    Burr-ee-toe – yes, that’s very scary. I will keep a close eye on you from now on.

  16. lord f says:

    dude! you ate with mail! that’s disgusting.
    i still think you should name mini lesinges x minus 1 or anything ending in electric boogaloo.
    lord f

  17. Good for Me says:

    you can’t leave it at that! do tell. s’il vous plait!!!

  18. egan says:

    Lord F – I’m not a lover of many things math so there’s no way I would name my kid that. That’s just plain mean. I might as well call the kid Kickmyassamus.
    Good for Me – you’re right. Maybe later this week. It’s an amusing story too.

  19. naynayfazz says:

    Yeah, I think men are strange. But I am sure men think women are strange in general as well. We are just different and don’t get eachother. That is what makes relationships so *ahem* exciting and unpredictable.

  20. egan says:

    NayNayFazz – okay, I may be in the minority here though… but I honestly don’t think men and women are all that different. Sure there are some major biological difference between us, but we all pretty much want the same thing: to be loved, appreciated, accepted for who we are, and taken seriously. Maybe I’m wrong on this though.

  21. Churlita says:

    I lived in a house full of guys in college, and I just chose not to notice any of that stuff. Except my one roommate’s science project of glasses full of old Mountain Dew that started growing some pretty cool mold in them – that I did take note of.

  22. Rachel says:

    I thought that all college students always had a drawer full of plastic ware.
    You can take all the forks, sporks, knives and such from Wendys, KFC and Taco Bell that you want.
    This reminds me…I need to do the dishes when I get home…le sigh.

  23. Burr-ee-toe says:

    My best friend played lacrosse in college and lived with 5 other lacrosse players. They let the dishes get so bad that the dishes started to develop weird growths and a nasty smell. Eventually they gave up, threw the dishes in the trash, and started from scratch.

  24. egan says:

    Churlita – your story once again proves that you should never trust the powers of Mountain Dew. That stuff is downright dangerous.
    Rachel – who says you have to wait for college for that stuff? My dad had us gather those sorts of things when we were kids. We never ever bought napkins as my suggested we raid Wendy’s and McDonalds for them. Do you have a dishwasher?
    Burr-ee-toe – huh, I admit doing dishes isn’t fun. Although I also admit doing them isn’t that painful. I would prefer to do dishes over laundry any day.

  25. Nessa says:

    I thought for sure that after he knocked the cake out of your hand, you wrestled him to the floor and farted in his face.
    PS-I am always wrong when guessing the sex of unborn children, but, if you are going to place money, we must switch the out come, because I am more unlucky when money is involved. I don’t know, it’s a toss up. You know 50/50 that you could have a boy or a girl. Hey, amybe you’ll have twins…

  26. Amber says:

    Okay… if the continuation post hadn’t already been posted by the time I got to read the first story… that was so the option I would have picked. Seriously!!

  27. Gawpo says:

    I was wrong (my guess). But you were right (what you did).

  28. cindra says:

    I forgot to even guess…but I was holding our for the sorority girl dream sequence.

  29. Amy says:

    I don’t think you tipped me off. It was just a guess. Your stubborn nature gave it away. I’m a Taurus too, May 1st is my B’day. I know a little something about stubbornness. Remember, I went through all the trouble of keeping my dishes in my room so that my roommates wouldn’t dirty them. If that’s not being stubborn what is?

  30. egan says:

    Nessa – nah, no actually farting occured in the specific incident. In fact I seldom fart. Okay, on to more interesting news. We aren’t having twins and that we know for sure after three ultrasounds. Let’s put two dollars on the line.
    Amber – I totally believe you. You’ve got my back like that. It’s all good.
    Gawpo – yes, you were wrong. I knew I could outsmart you. Maybe next time you’ll be on to my pranks.
    Cindra – the sorority girl thing was some strange thing in college. Typically they annonyed the shit out of me, but I dated one for two years in college and my wife spent a short year in one in Boston. Talk about a messed up living environment.
    Amy – you were born three days before me, I think. Actually I think you’re a year older than I am. As Taureans, we have to stick together.

  31. Burr-ee-toe says:

    I think I would prefer to do laundry. I love laundry… especially when its all warm and smells good right out of the dryer. One time when I went to visit that same lacrosse friend, I found his bathroom to be so disgusting that I wore flip flops in the shower. Yuck!

  32. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – give me dishes any day. Once I’m done with the dishes I only have to put them away. With laundry you have to fold them and then put them away. If I get the clothes folded and put away on the same night, buy some lottery tickets. Tell me more about the lacrosse guy.

  33. Caro says:

    J’en étais sûre. Ah! la bohême… Tout risquer, même l’insalubrité de son propre logis pour prouver que l’on avait raison! Que de souvenirs, que de souvenirs…

  34. egan says:

    Caro – oui, je suis d’accord avec toi. Nous etions jeunes quand nous avons fait ces choses avec le gateau. Maintenant, je suis mieux que ça. Les memoirs… oh les memoirs!

  35. Burr-ee-toe says:

    haha… oh lacrosse guy has been one of my best friends since the 9th grade. Remember my hawaii picture from last week? That’s from when we went there for his wedding. He disinvited me to the wedding while we were there because he was being a jerk to his family and I called him out on it. hahaha… that’s what are friends for, right?

  36. Dirty Girl says:

    You were willing to eat it off a credit card, but not off the floor? You need to readjust your priorities, Man.

  37. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – that’s cool you tell it to him like it is. I’m sure he appreciates your honesty. He doesn’t have a crush on you does he? Let’s be realistic here.

  38. egan says:

    Dirty Girl – you clearly don’t understand this story. It was an unopened pre-approved credit card offer. I tore it open, removed the card from the paper backing, and shoveled cake in my mouth. Not only that, I didn’t know the cake would end up on the floor. You’re not thinking chronologically silly one.

  39. sprizee says:

    The important thing to remember is I was right.
    I’ll take a slice of Chocolate Truffle Cake, thanks.

  40. egan says:

    Sprizee – I saw your review on that new addiction of yours, Yelp. Thanks for being so kind. I’m working my way to Elite status since I want to be just like you. Four days until your special day.

  41. Maria says:

    Awwwww … love the story.

  42. Diesel says:

    Hi Egan! I’m just dropping by to wish you a Happy Inappropriate Card Day!

  43. celeste says:

    haha! I KNEW it! wait…that was the option I guessed, right?
    meh. I’m too lazy to go look.
    Let’s just both agree that I was right 🙂

  44. CSL says:

    Oh definitely, women can be odd, too, just in different ways. Don’t get me wrong, I love men. I just can’t imagine being okay with someone slapping cake out of my hand.

  45. Trick says:

    You guys should have thrown in $10 each for one of those portable dishwashers. Totally worth it to get out of washing dishes

  46. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Eew… you gave me the heebee jeebees there for a second. Ask Pants – lacrosse guy is the little brother of our friend Zanny. Trust me, the only feelings between us are sibling-like.

  47. homocide?
    I love you, Egan.

  48. Phats says:

    How about
    Yura Nashun
    Or the classic
    Ben Dover!

  49. egan says:

    Maria – it’s one of those stories that you know immediately you’ll look back at and laugh. I’m going to see my buddy Scott next week. Perhaps I should eat some cake with a credit card as a reminder.
    Diesel – are you pimping your blog or is this spam? I use inappropriate cards all the time. It’s especially fun to give cards that are older than they should be. You know, “Happy 40th”, when the person is turning 30.
    Celeste – you did choose C because you thought it was just wacky enough. You’re a sharp cookie.
    CSL – who said I was okay with it? I wasn’t or else I would have immediately picked it up. I did entice him so it was deserved. We were young and forming boundaries still. I’m sure you know what I mean.
    Trick – we were college students, meaning were far too cheap to think that way. Dishwashers are a luxary in college apartments.
    Burr-ee-toe – you sure he doesn’t have a crush on you? Why else would he care? Perhaps it’s a sibling thing, but I’m not convinced.
    Sally – thanks darling. Yes, the cake rested on the carpet for two days. We should have taped the area off. Yes, the feelings are mutual.
    Phats – all very good names sir. Thanks for the input.

  50. Rachel says:

    Sorry for the delayed reply. I DO have a dishwasher. Unfortunately I have really hard water and it causes a lovely film to form over all of the dishes that I run in the dishwasher, which causes me to hand wash them anyway.
    It is a viscious cycle.
    I need to get a whole house filter but haven’t gotten around to it.

  51. egan says:

    Rachel – yeah, the water in your part of the country is quite hard. It’s weird for me to take showers at the in-laws house. I feel like I can never get the soapy film off my body, but it’s really just the hard water. Those water softeners aren’t cheap are they?

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