What would you do when no clean utensils remain? (Disclaimer: if you haven’t read the previous post, you might want to since this is a continuation post) Yes, I suppose I could have eaten the leftover cake with my fingers, but that would let my roommate, Scott, off the hook. I had to prove a point. What would piss him off more than anything else? I could have easily taken the high road and cleaned one fork, assumed my position on the couch, and consumed the delicious chocolate cake.
Nah, that wouldn’t solve anything. So I scanned the counter for anything I could find. Thankfully my friend never put any of his mail in his room. Perfect. I would open one of his pre-approved credit cards and use it to shovel cake in my mouth. My roommate wasn’t pleased I used his credit card as a fork and decided to slap the cake out of my hands after three or four bites. The piece of chocolate cake plummeted to the off-white colored carpet. I was shocked Scott knocked the cake out of my hands, but that’s exactly how it went down.
Most well-adjusted college students would gather the chocolate treat and laugh off this little tift. Not us. The piece of chocolate cake sat in the same spot on the carpet crying out for attention. Neither of us were willing to budge… yes it’s true, I can be a bit stubborn at times. The other two roommates decided to stay out of this incident, side-stepping the downed cake like it was a homocide. That only lasted for two days thankfully as my buddy Tod scooped the cake off the carpet and chucked it off our third story balcony.
Sadly the sorority girl 90210 story was a complete fabrication. I think most readers were able to figure out that was more of a dream than reality. How right you were. I’m certain I’ve pulled the fart in face retaliation many times, however it didn’t occur with this legendary cake event. The great thing is this wasn’t a relationship killer. Scott actually ended up as our internet reverend when my wife and I got married in Maui six years ago. The roommate who threw the cake off the balcony in disgust, Tod, was my best man.
TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Methaniel, Pedo, Shite, Flaturence, Esbeedee, and Gastreau.