First Date Impressions

First dates are a common thread with most of us.  We’ve all been on first dates, some may have worked out great and others may have taught us a thing or two.  I thought I’d share a few stories of first dates I had in my single years. 


I went on a date with a cute sorority girl in college.  We went to see a movie north of Seattle.  I picked her up at her sorority and I drove us to the theatre.  Once we got there, I realized I forgot my damn wallet.  She was kind enough to pay for two tickets to Nine Months.  Needless to say, I didn’t last another nine days with her after she thought I forgot my wallet on purpose.  UPSHOT: this is the same woman who told me I needed to stop apologizing for things.  Thus I learned about tough love.


One of the first actual dates I went on with this woman, we also went to see a movie.  With this date I had my wallet and offered to handle the movie ticket and snacks.  I ordered popcorn and Cherry Coke.  After that I walked over to the butter pump and added some imitation butter oil.  UPSHOT: this woman became my wife and made it abundantly clear she didn’t like butter on her popcorn and couldn’t stand Cherry Coke.  We still joke about her dislike of Cherry Coke nine years later.


I took a date to dinner, it wasn’t anything fancy though.  I did offer to pay since it seemed like the right thing to do on a first date.  For some reason I was crazy about this girl, maybe I was just a horndog.  When the check arrives I offered to cover everything.  She balked at that idea and suggested splitting the bill.  I asked her if she was sure about that and she said yes.  When we headed to the car I noticed she was a bit mellow.  I inquired about her mood and she was annoyed I didn’t cover the entire bill.  She wanted me to be more assertive or some shit like that and insist I cover the whole bill.  UPSHOT:  The famous Sir Mix-a-Lot was sitting two tables away from us with his wife.  Less than two weeks later I stopped dating this woman because she holds pint glasses oddly.


Before  you laugh too hard at me… I’ve been on more than three first dates, but for the life of me I can only remember these three.  It’s bugging me a bit I can’t remember any of the others.  I can picture faces, but not the places.  I think it’s fair to say my mind is mush these days. 


TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Phyllis, Francine, Pfister, Flika, Phruka, and Foolay.



About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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54 Responses to First Date Impressions

  1. Amanda says:

    I’ve only been on 4 dates.
    I think.
    I see why your 2nd date became your wife. She didn’t play any stupid coy girl games.

  2. egan says:

    Amanda – uh huh, it’s so true. The third one really annoyed me. The first one offered great advice that I still dish out to this day. Now if I can only remember her name. The second one just happens to be carrying my child so I’d say she was a keeper.

  3. furiousball says:

    I’m not going to say how many first dates I’ve had, because there’s an off chance my wife would find this and my nooky level would then drop below the Surgeon General’s RNA (Recommended Nooky Allowance) …I don’t quite think the Surgeon General has made the RNA count actually official, maybe that was the Sturgeon General…

  4. celeste says:

    One memorable first date I had was a blind-coffee-meeting-type date.
    I showed up and the guy had already ordered and was sitting down with his drink. When I walked to his table to introduce myself, he said “I’m not going to stand because I hurt my back.” I was like “…umm, ok.” So I ordered a drink, sat down, had a boring conversation, and then watched him hobble all bent over to the bathroom while holding is lower back. He was about 28 and looked like he might as well have been 82, the way he was walking. What a turnoff! Never saw that guy again.

  5. Rachel says:

    I don’t remember most of my first dates but my favorite one when when a guy came shopping with me. He wandered all over the mall with me and we just talked and had a great conversation. Then we went out and had a couple of salads and lemondade and talked some more.
    This is the one guy that I have kept in touch with from my younger days. It has been over 12 years now.

  6. egan says:

    Celeste – what a loser. He didn’t have a cane did he? You need a snowboarding buddy not someone with a walker.
    Furiousball – your wife doesn’t know how many first dates you’ve been on? You really think she’d be annoyed if she knew the real number? We’re not talking about sexual partners here, just first dates. Hey, you’re prolific.

  7. Pants says:

    I wish I could forget more of my first dates.

  8. egan says:

    Rachel – ah, that’s cute. Obviously he still has a special place in your heart. I’m glad you didn’t tell me it ended in a fistfight.

  9. egan says:

    Pants – such as the one with Yanni?

  10. Pants says:

    Exactly. Same goes for the guy who stuck his dry, clammy tongue in my mouth. There was an apology email waiting for me by the time I got home. I also went out with a sexually confused guy. That was interesting.

  11. egan says:

    Pants – we need to get you a book deal stat.

  12. meno says:

    I went on a date once with this REALLY handsome guy. He scared the crap out of me because he keep looking at himself in the rear view mirror while he was driving. Guess i wasn’t the only one who thought he was handsome.

  13. egan says:

    Meno – I’ve seen that guy a time or two at the gym. Nice story.

  14. Amanda says:

    I lied. I’ve been thinking about it all afternoon and had to write them all down (because I’m a nerd like that). I’ve only been on 3 first dates. My husband was the third. The first one was with a Canadian guy who was a sloppy kisser, the second was with a hot, latin Marine who I dated for about 2 years before I realized what future was in store for me. Then my husband. I actually made him take me on a date.

  15. celeste says:

    lol! He looked like he could have used a cane.
    The real sad thing of it is, at the end of the date he said he’d call me and we should go out again. I was polite and said OK. And he never called! I was WAY too good for that guy, but he never called. Sheesh.

  16. celeste says:

    I guess I should note that I never had the intention of a second date, I was just being nice. I was fully planning on not answering his call 😉

  17. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Oh my gosh, I’ve had so many first dates. I’m so picky though. I always knew in the first 5 minutes if I liked them or not.

  18. egan says:

    Amanda – I can’t believe you lied on a blog. Blogs are the last refuge, a place where one can come and find only truths. You will be condemned. I’m kind of glad you passed on number two for the reasons you stated.
    Celeste – I can’t believe how polite you are. Huh, you expected him to call you?
    Celeste – I’m thrilled you followed up with this comment. I was just about to give you crap about the phone thing and why you would even care if he called or not. Thanks for the update.

  19. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – and, shit… what do you know, now you’re engaged. No more first dates for you! How does that sound? You comfortable with that? Get used to it. Marriage does rock though.

  20. Brooke says:

    My dates never work out. I’m horrible on dates unless I’m totally not interested in the guy – and then of course they fall for me and I have to dump a guy who I didn’t want to date in the first place.
    I hate dating.

  21. Heather says:

    Congratulations on your little girl (I’m just catching up). And passing on Phrucka? I’d say it was a good choice.
    So, you forgot your wallet? I dumped a guy for that (because I didn’t believe it was an accident) but I don’t get the date who wanted you to be more assertive. Was her name Passive-Aggressive?

  22. patches says:

    Cats don’t date; they just copulate
    The Mister and the Missus went on so many non-date dates, so its hard to describe the first one. I am pretty sure it included margaritas though…The Missus had a first date in her past life that included her date locking his keys in his car.

  23. egan says:

    Brooke – dating isn’t all that much fun. Oh, those reversal of fortune dates blow. At least you can laugh at them later.
    Heather – you dumped a guy for forgetting his wallet? Huh, mine was truly a mistake. I was so embarrassed when it happened my face turned beat red. The other woman’s name was actually Dude Where’s My Moolah.
    Patches – locking keys in a car eh? That’s awesome stuff. I had a buddy that put a coat hanger around his license plate because he locked himself out so often.

  24. Oh boy – I answered an ad from a personals column once. When the man pulled out photos of himself dressed in drag I said he looked nice in purple and called for the check.
    When I re-read the ad later, it said: “man in touch with his feminine side.” How was I to know?
    New York is a freak show and dating just brought it closer to home 😉

  25. zen wizard says:

    I distrust any advice given by women: One woman told you you “apologize too much.”
    Anything out of a woman’s mouth is suspect: Example–“I like a man with a good sense of humor; I don’t care about looks.”
    Bobcat Goldthwaite aside, I don’t think this is really true.
    If it was me, I would start apologizing profusely and see if it works. In other words, do the opposite of what every woman tells you. You didn’t get a second date with the “split the check” chick, but if you would have, I would have asked her to split the check again just to piss her off.
    Two possibilities: 1) I am right; 2) It would be fun to piss her off.

  26. egan says:

    Reverend Pink – damn, is that true or are you taking creative license on this one? I love it either way.
    Zen Wizard – have I wronged you in some way? What the fuck is up with your comment dude? Yes, it was great advice. Many women are capable of giving constructive advice. I really hope you’re simply trying to press my buttons like you with every comment on my blog. Didn’t you retire your blog?

  27. Phil says:

    You’re a bringing up some horrible memories including food poisoning and subsequent vomiting in her garden, breaking a glass in my hand and being driven to the hospital for stiches and falling down a set of stairs.
    Pat Benetar is right. Love is a battlefield.

  28. justrun says:

    Dang, Sir Mix-a-Lot?? I would definitely have remembered that one.
    And Cherry Coke is pretty bad- glad she set you straight on that one!

  29. Maria says:

    The one first date that was the most memorable for me was when we went to play indoor glow in the dark mini-golf (my idea … I didn’t want to do the whole coffee thing … I figured doing an activity would be a nice ice-breaker) followed by sushi followed by coffee/dessert at a Portuguese bakery.
    I will never have a “coffee” first date again!

  30. tori says:

    My worst first date ever was with my husband. The next day he called and told me what a good time he had just being with me and he was hoping he would see me again. So sweet I forgave the mess that was our date.

  31. Eunice says:

    It’s okay that the others weren’t that memorable. The one with your wife is hilarious.

  32. Good for Me says:

    glad for the name nix list this go round. those are doozies. and excellent first date stories. blech! both cherry coke and dr. pepper are terrible!
    haven’t had many first dates (married at 22…oi vey!) but the one i remember started at a fraternity party. we hung out for awhile and then much of the date was a walk around campus. i had one of those LL Bean Anorak pull overs (red) and he wanted to wear it. after boring conversation that lasted entirely too long, he walked me home and asked if he could wear the coat for his walk back to his place. said he’d return it the next day. i agreed, and though i saw him around campus after that, i never saw my coat again. even after questioning him about it several times. bet you can guess there wasn’t a second date.
    currently it’s just me and jack. perhaps there will be some good first date stories in the near future.

  33. Karl says:

    she holds pint glasses oddly! love that reason. 🙂

  34. Sizzle says:

    oops that was me, not karl. he kidnapped my computer!

  35. Tall Chick says:

    One first date for me. Also my last. And not with dh. ^_^ I love the pint glass thing. That is so Coupling.

  36. mez says:

    awww and she still married you after all that!! 😛

  37. ChickyBabe says:

    You got me thinking about dates I can’t remember… not worth it, but my mind is ticking….

  38. CSL says:

    I’ve had some great first dates (the traditional dinner and a movie, hiking) and some that I was dead certain there would be no second date. Like the guy who got into a street race with some stoned idiot waving a gun at us. I was just glad to be able to get out of the car alive on that one.

  39. I just recently had a first date. I have to say, there will be a second date because it was utterly hilarious and great. “how she holds pint glasses”!!! Oh my gosh, that is too funny! I love that your wife didnt like the movie food you got. HA!

  40. damasta says:

    Oh man, I can remember one date where I met this guy thru one of those online deals, right? Well, he shows up at my house like a dorky italian mobster wanna be. He has a tight black shirt, cheesy gold chain and white socks with sandals O_O
    I ended up going out with him a few more times after that and once we watched a movie at his house, and (get this!) he has these strange (strange b/c they seemed out of place and overly gawdy) Jesus posters in frames all over his house, but then he showed me his massive porn (!!) collection. And you’ll scratch your head at this one: instead of a couch, he had these puke green squares that we had to arrange ourselves to “make” a “couch” shape. HUH!?

  41. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Yay, no more first dates! That does sound nice. I’m happy to go on dates with my fiance. I also can’t wait for our honeymoon. woo hoo!

  42. christina says:

    Ugh, cherry coke. I’m with your wife on this one.
    I’m also dying to know exactly how this woman was holding her pint glass.

  43. naynayfazz says:

    I have never been on a date. Weird huh? I had one boyfriend for 4 years, then I met my current boyfriend and he and I were friends first. We started dating 4 years ago. In between in the two years I was single, I was too chicken shit to date.
    Your story about the girl who wanted you to be more aggressive is so funny. What a psycho.

  44. egan says:

    Phil – leave it to you to bring up a Pat Benatar connection. I would love to hear more about the broken glass story. I have a story to match yours, I think.
    Justrun – don’t you wish your girlfriend could SWASS like me?. Damn those Mix-a-lot lyrics. Cherry Coke is the nectar of fools, or so I’ve been told.
    Maria – I think I’ve heard the coffee story first date. I like the creative mini golf idea. Did it lead to any groping? Groping on a first date is key.
    Tori – what made the date so bad? I want to know how he redeemed himself too.
    Eunice – I felt like such a fool for the popcorn and Cherry Coke. I should have asked her and didn’t.
    Good for Me – that’s one weird story about the red anorak. I don’t get why someone would borrow it and not return it. How freaky. I have a red coat this French guy gave me. We weren’t dating though, or at least that’s what I told myself. Go Jack!
    Karl/Sizzle – yes, I have a picture to prove it. I will scan it.
    Sizzle – are you drunk? Kidnapping rules.
    Tall Chick – I need to provide proof on the glass thing. It was the most bizarre pint glass grab.
    Mez – can you believe it? I mean really, what would be next… crack, speed, meth, blogging?
    ChickyBabe – I’m sure you have some wonderful stories locked in the vault that is your brain.
    CSL – nothing says love like a little road rage on a first date. How romantic.
    steppingoverthejunk – yeah, Cherry Coke is apparently bad for you. I never knew. I will prove proof of the pint glass grab. Good luck on the second date.
    Damasta – what I must know is why the follow up dates? Were you compiling blog material? This guy is why cameraphones were invented. Oh yes, this good sounds like a prize. Porn stashes are so hot. Did he use the mags as a monitor stand?
    Burr-ee-toe – honeymoons rock. The best part about a honeymoon, you get to finally have sex. So cool.
    Christina – yes, it appears nobody likes Cherry Coke except teenie boppers. I will provide a photo of the hand grip. I think I took a shot because it was so weird.

  45. egan says:

    Naynayfazz – I really wish I was making the shit up about the assertive weird pint glass holding woman, but I’m not. I guess not every woman you meet in a club can become your spouse, who knew. Your dating tales are sparse for sure.

  46. Candace says:

    Can you show us a picture of you grabbing a glass by said method?
    Our bio film has grown from 18 seconds to 1 min 48 seconds. The last 0:1:30 went way faster than the first 0:0:18. 😛

  47. Candace says:

    Why aren’t you chattable right now?

  48. *pixie* says:

    I stopped dating this woman because she holds pint glasses oddly.
    Seems reasonable enough.

  49. egan says:

    Candace – I can do better, I really do have a picture of her and the odd pint glass grip. I love it when you talk movies to me. Pick me!
    Candace – I’m chattable now and of course you are nowhere to be found.
    *pixie* – that’s what I thought. The truth is probably more like she just wasn’t all that in to me. However, she needs to learn how to hold a damn pint glass.

  50. Amanda says:

    I like coke with grenadine. But I hate cherry coke.

  51. tori says:

    He was over an hour late picking me up and when I asked if he got lost, he just answered “no” with no explanation. I was STARVING and he drove around for hours looking for some mysterious place he wanted us to eat. He never found it and harldy talked the whole time he was looking for it. Seriously. Hours. On the first date. Driving around looking for a place that he “couldn’t remember the name of” so there was no way I could help look. I tried making conversation while we drove, but he was very focused on finding this place so mainly gave one word answers.
    Then after we finally ate somewhere (not the place he was looking for, but a place I suggested because I was starving and would have eaten my own arm at that point) he thought we should see a movie. I thought it was probably too late and there wouldn’t be anything playing, but he drove us there anyway. The movie theater was closed because it was too late. (Did I not say that?) We rented a movie instead and went to his parents house (we were both in college and living with our parents on summer break) where his mom was waiting up in her pajamas and proceeded to watch the entire movie with us on the couch. Need I go on? Awful. Although his mom was very sweet.
    But, the next day while I was out with some friends he left a message for me telling me that he had a fantastic time with me even though “some things went wrong”. I can’t remmeber what else he said, but something about how beautiful, sweet and understanding I was. He went on to say that he loved how positive and happy I was through the whole date, never getting upset and it melted my heart and made me call him back. We went out again and thank goodness it was nothing like the first date!
    Sorry this is so long, but you asked!

  52. egan says:

    Amanda – is grenadine that green stuff? I’m so bad with elixirs. I get the feeling nobody likes Cherry Coke.
    Tori – thank you so much for sharing this story. This proves once again you can right something that went terribly wrong. I’m glad you were so understanding of him. It’s dates like your first one that make all the others so much more enjoyable. The first one may not have been great with mother watching the movie too, but it’s memorable and something you can both look back upon and smile. Thanks again for sharing.

  53. Kale Rae says:

    Foolay is a pretty rockn’ name. I’d put that back on the maybe list…the quite possibly list even.

  54. egan says:

    Kale Rae – salut et bienvenue a mon blogue. I’m glad you like the name Foolay. If you kind of sound it out in French, using the English spelling, you have my last name. I’m just sayhing. Welcome.

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