It’s nearly spring kiddies, meaning tons of people will head out for spring break. Most people head south for the warmer weather, sandy beaches, topless women, and Girls Gone Wild outtakes. In college this wasn’t the case for me. My first "spring break" was spent in Alaska with my family. We flew up to Anchorage to see my brother for a week. It seemed like a bad idea, but we really had a wonderful time.
The following year my buddy Scott (my adversary in the cake debate) and I took a road trip to Canada for a little ski trip. (NOTE: this is a long-ish story so I will keep the paragraphs short for those who skim read like myself) We used his parents dependable blue early 80’s Toyota Corolla. It did the trick for us as we navigated our way through the winding roads of the Canadian Okanagan region.
The first night we discovered a snowy campground with a few wood tables under a protected shelter. Another group of people already staked out the tables. We propped our tent on top of the snow under a spruce tree, using the car headlights as a light source. It was nice and cozy in the tent until someone (or something) spooked us by tapping on our tent. The person walked around our tent for awhile and then it went silent. Dammit, then something else hit the tent. Was it a snowball or an animal? Scott and I were freaked out. I poked my head out of the tent and didn’t see anything. Needless to say I had visions of serial killer outside our tent the rest of the night.
The next morning we continued our trip, arriving in Kelowna, British Columbia in the late afternoon. We were dog tired from the drive and not so great sleep in our tent the night before. Neither of us had much money on us, thank god for those first credit cards. We were cheap bastards and attempted to find a "free" place to stay in Kelowna.
The ski resort, Big White, was roughly another hour or so outside of town. The weather was shitty with low visibility. We searched around Kelowna for some overnight accommodations such as dorms. We found a couple promising places, but decided against staying in town. Instead we got a wild hair and said we would forge on, driving up to the ski resort in a virtual white out.
We made it to the snowy resort in one piece, think The Shining. We ditched our belongings in the car and chowed down some food at the first bar we spied. The next order of business was to find an abode to for the night. Well, that came after we threw back some brewskis in the bar while hearing that damn Tom Cochrane, Life is a Highway, song ad nauseum. We mingled in the bar, flirted with the ladies, and continued to get drunker and drunker. See Canada’s drinking age is 19 so we felt so cool… for a while.
Unfortunately the two drunk hornballs, us, still didn’t have a place to crash. We decided to look around the village for somewhere we could curl up and rest for a few hours before hitting the slopes in the morning. We gained access to one of the village hotels and seriously contemplated sleeping in a stairwell. Wiped out, we crashed there for about five minutes and then opted out on this plan. We hunted some more, but nothing turned up. Therefore we took our sorry asses back to the tiny Toyota Corolla and attempted to sleep in the car. Yeah, sleeping in a car at a ski resort in the mountains isn’t always the best idea.
It was the worst night of sleep in my life. I was so damn cold I put my coat on backwards, placed flannel boxers over my head, and socks over my hands in an attempt to stay warm. The windows were all foggy and so was my mind. The two of us kept asking each other if we were sleeping. We were so miserable from the long day of driving, the alcohol in our system, the cold, and raging hormones. I think the longest I slept that night was about 20 minutes.
Around five in the morning, exhausted.. yet ready to take on the mountain, we decided to venture out of the tiny sedan since sleep wasn’t on our side. We wander over to the hotel and chat with the front desk clerk. She told us (I can’t remember if it was a man or woman, so let’s say woman) a room was available. Scott and I looked at each other with a slight smile and sleep on our minds. She told us we could have had the room for essentially two nights had we stopped in after midnight. It was nice of her to share this information, but the news stung us hard. Why didn’t we think to inquire about this instead of the stairwells? I guess we weren’t as wise as we thought. (oh, it was a male hotel clerk and not a woman… it’s coming back to me now.)
We took a three hour nap and then hit the slopes that morning. I have never skied so much in one day of my life. We made sure we would get the most bang for our buck. We started skiing at 10 am and didn’t really stop until about 10 pm. Life was awesome and I slept like a baby that night. Oh the memories. This was without a doubt the most memorable trip I ever took in college and still brings a grin to my face as I attempt to relive it.
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Many of you asked about the pint glass grab and I’m here to deliver. Take a look at that photo very carefully. See how her right index finger comes up over the rim of the green Solo™ cup? That’s unnatural and a dead giveaway of someone who will test your limits. I’ve done extensive research on cup/glass grips and the results are conclusive –> anytime the index finger is over the rim of the beverage container, you should automatically distrust said person. You will have to take my word on this one, plus look at the angle of her wrist. So odd I tell you.
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TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Davenna, Randria, Markina, Bobette, Johnlisa, and Paulina.
The Continued Life of Monkey Boy 
1. sleeping in the cold is horrible. I agree. It sucks so hard that I will never do it again (had to do so in Yellowstone – my first tent camp experience. I’m a spoiled RV camping kind of a girl).
2. I find it hilarious that you couldn’t remember the gender of the hotel clerk for some reason.
3. Yes, that is a weird way to hold a cup. Seriously. What is that? Who does that? It’s like she’s afraid you’re going to take it away from her or something.
Too bad there’s no picture of you with the boxers on your head.
One year i went to san Francisco with my roommate for spring break. We stayed free at the Hyatt Regency on Market street because her uncle was the manager. It was heaven!
What is this? What’s happening here? I’m the first to comment? That never happens.
It sounds like you had a blast. Except for the freezing cold. I would have crashed in an out of the way women’s bathroom. They usually have a couch or chair or something in them.
I haven’t ever studied the way that people hold their glass. Good thing I am safe. I never have my finger over the rim.
I have noticed that I hold things at a lower level than I used to because my best friend has OCD and when I hand her something our hands can’t touch. So I pick it up from the bottom to allow her to grab it from the top.
Amanda – congrats on commenting first. It’s all the rage to comment first these days. I want everyone in my college year memories to be a woman for some reason. Ha, isn’t the grip very odd? It freaked me out. And yes, sleeping in the cold is not fun for anyone. I can remember that night like it was yesterday. Probably because I never fell asleep.
Meno – there might be a picture of it somewhere. I will check with Scott and update if located. Now that’s a sweet deal in SF. Good work.
Amanda – some days you just get lucky. Consider today your day to shine.
Rachel – we had a fucking blast. It wasn’t the smoothest trip, but it made for some great memories. I can’t believe how shady some of the details are as I typed this up. Ha, men’s bathrooms pale in comparison to the lounges inside a woman’s restroom. Don’t cross the streams! I can offer a Pint Glass Hold personality analysis if you’re interested.
Hmmm…my horoscope said the same thing.
Amanda – you’re totally kidding right? Don’t make it sound like I know what I’m talking about … you hear me!
In all likelihood it was an owl that hit your tent. I hear they tend fall out of trees when they are cold.
Amy – the owl stuff never gets old. I love it. Damn, thanks for the email. I will write you back today, once my coffee jitters have settled down.
I would like to get an analysis. Do I have to send you a photo of me holding a drink or something?
Regarding the differences in bathrooms. Here at work we have a nice cushy chair and a padded bench in the womens bathroom. The men have nothing. Zip. Nada. And the complaining that I have heard about this is crazy.
Rachel – men should breastfeed, that’s what I’m saying.
Yes, a picture would be extremely helpful. I will even waive my fee for you. Keep it clean, I don’t want any kinky photos. Just your hand and a pint glass.
LOL…. I will have to see if I have one. If not i will take one.
BTW ~ I have had the song Tennessee running through my head ever since I read the title of this post.
Thanks a lot! hmph
Rachel – you win a gold star for making the connection. Here in the great Emerald City there’s a Genesee street. Every damn time I see the word I can’t help saying “Gen-uh-see” in a deep voice. Sucks to be me. Yes, please send photo so I can give you a Pint Glass Grip personality analysis. Hurry, this offer won’t last long.
Camping in the snow??? on purpose??? Clearly both you and your friend weren’t thinking too clearly! I have camped in pouring rain (think Swiss Alps), I have camped in the heat (think Greece) but I would never consider the snow…it’s too cold. Hopefully your wife will explain the intricies of camping to your offspring. As far as the glass grab…is her wrist broken?
I love camping, I even lived in my tent one Summer, but I can’t stand being cold. You are much stronger than I. I would have whined the whole time.
Lynn – yes, camping in the snow. We’re wacky people in the Northwest. We think we’re sasquatches or some crazy shit. I will camp in the cold anyday over the heat. Sleep naked in a sleeping bag and you have instant heat. Lynn, her wrist was not broken. Dare I say it was a tad overused?
Churlita – did you also live in a van down by the river? Who says I didn’t whine? That’s why we got up at 5:00 am to find something else. It was so damn painful. A man 6’1 isn’t meant to sleep in the front seat of an economy car of a ski resort parking lot. That’s my thinking.
Clean Boxers, right? The low expectations of college trips. Eight people sharing two double beds. No, wait that’s someone else’s memory….
I would be suspicious of that grip too. It has the look of someone who’s trying to drink and tweek herself with the same hand.
Patches – you’re killing me with the “tweek herself” comment. I didn’t go there, but I figure someone would. Kudos to you! Oh, we had plenty of trips like that too. I think we had another ski trip where 18 people shared a two bedroom condo in Whistler. Hello spot under the table.
I’m partly kidding. My horoscope yesterday kind of said something very similar. Something about the world being mine or some shit. I don’t know. But what you said reminded me of it.
YAY SPRING!! I have also slept in a car in the parking lot of a ski resort. It’s effin cold, I hated it. Do you have any exciting vacays planned soon???
Egan:
First off, damn you for referencing that “Life is a Highway” song because now it’s on a continuous loop in my brain and I won’t be able to sleep.
What is it with 19 year olds? When my husband (boyfriend at the time) and I were in college together at 19, he wouldn’t leave me alone. It was like breathing to him all that sex/hormone stuff.
I can’t believe you couldn’t tell if the hotel clerk was male/female. Was it that you didn’t know at the time what it was, or was it that you KNEW at the time then you forgot? There is a difference!
OK…you should have the emails that I sent showing me holding a cup. I didn’t get a manicure first so you’ll have to deal with the nakedness of my fingernails.
My spring breaks have never been anything to write home about 😦
Alaska sounds cool! (no pun intended.)
p.s. the drinking age is even better in Manitoba : 18
I love spring break!!! Mine is the first week of April woohooo.
I have to say you lost me at the title of this post because I started singing
TENNESSEE TE TE TE TENNESSEE take me to another place, take me to another land! hahahaha
That sounds like a great trip and what a fun memory to share! I chuckle over some of the things I’ve done in the past, where, in hindsight, my logic was clearly flawed.
Who’s the chick with the odd glass grip?
Amanda – how about I give you an iPod to make your day complete? I love the “some shit” part of your comment. Classic.
Stephanie – sleeping in a car is all the rage. I might have to blog about that tomorrow. It’s what all the cool kids are doing. No vacations really, well this time next week we’ll be in Florida.
Leezer – you’re welcome because really… life is a highway and I’m gonna drive it… all night long. Are you going my way? I think 19 year old are going through a steep maturity/freedom/growth sort of thing. I’m glad to hear it wasn’t just me with my mind always in the gutter back then. Yes, there’s a huge difference in the hotel clerk scenario. I just can’t recall if it was a man or woman. It wasn’t a gender discovery thing.
Rachel – I got your pictures and will comply with your request. Thanks for participating
Celeste – not even one worthy of sharing?
Celeste – so that explains why Winnipeg has one of the highest crime rates in your country. Well, that can’t be the sole reason. 18 and a life you got it..
Phats – yes, that song is golden I tell you. Like that cereal Golden Grahams, good luck getting it out of your head. Enjoy your break sir. April is a nice time for a week off.
L – yes, great memories from college abound for me. The chick with odd pint glass grip is someone I dated. I referenced her in my First Date Impressions post a couple days ago. She’s behind door #3.
Hi, Egan!
Sorry I’ve been so sporradic with checking your blog this semester. Just caught up.
Congrats on having a girl! From what I know from people who have had both girls and boys, boys are much more rambunctious as children and will suck more energy out of you. But really, I think they both have their pluses and minuses over the years. I’ve also heard that men prefer having boys and women prefer having girls because they’re “easier to understand”.
Have you ruled out Clementine yet perchance? It’s one of my new favorites.
Hmmm… I feel like I had other comments but I can’t remember any of them.
Cheers, and I’ll try to be around more regularly!
The drinking age is also 18 in Alberta. Quebec aussi. I want American kids looking to underage drink to have all the facts when planning their road trips.
Egan, we have something in common: I also (attempted to) sleep in my car during a ski trip to Big White. The windows on my 89 Mercury Topaz didn’t seal and blobs of ice water kept dripping on my face.
I’ve never slept in a car (overnight) but I have slept on my own front porch while getting eaten alive by mosquitos. It’s Minnesota’s state bird, don’tcha know.
I read your whole story and loved it, I had a Graceland adventure that was similar in its sleep deprivation and 8 of us packed in a tiny car, but what I need to know is did that girl hold her glass like that every time? With the strange angle too? Didn’t her wrist hurt? That would drive me bananas! Did you see I tagged you for a meme that I don’t know if you can do yet? (it will make sense when you see it)
I read that post, but forgot to comment. Actually, I was just being laaaaazy.
THAT one…she pissed me off just reading your post. Way to be passive aggressive and have completely flawed logic. Sheesh.
your frigid experience in the car brings back memories of a campout a friend and i attempted in the Sedona Arizona area. we hiked all day in early fall and were prepared for a mild to slightly chilly sleep over. damn was it cold. i can’t remember the temp, but it must have been at least 30 or so. we slept in our clothes, coats, gloves, hats, and as tightly snug in the sleeping bags as possible. the cold from the ground pierced right through me all fitfull night. i don’t think i slept for longer than 20 minutes either.
thankfully we arose to a beautiful day, and another great hike. we headed home for a warm bed that night.
first the bird, now the cup holding formation. that’s it cervelo.
Hi Egan – You ended up being a subject of my post this week. I honestly didn’t see it coming or would have given some warning. Nothing to worry about…I just wanted to be the first one to tell you. Sorry this is my first comment
You and that sock again! One of these days you’re going to have to truly give that thing away. Then what will you do? I know, it’s scary to think about. But we’ll help you get through it.
hahaha pint glass grab. I so agree- very astute Mr Les Singes! Man, I hate that Life is a Highway song!
Candy – no, we haven’t ruled out Clementine yet, but you may want to stay tuned. I have a slight feeling it may not make the cut. Thanks for the well wishes regarding pregnancy. Hey, you’re not allowed to apologize for not being around. That’s not how I run my blog. Comment when you can, but please don’t feel obligated to do so.
Jeci – were you serious about the underage comment? I love it. I think I drank underage in the States, maybe three times tops. I was such a good lilttle boy. We should compare stories. Big White is a fantastic ski resort. How many hours away from Big White are you?
Candy – you’ve never slept in a car? If you’ve never slept in a car overnight, then you’ve haven’t tortured yourself properly. Take two steps back.
Tori – the woman held her glasses/cups like that every damn time. I’m sure she still does to this day. Yes, with that strange angle and I will have to let her answer the question about her wrist hurting. She may not answer truthfully. Man, how did I miss the tag? I read your post and didn’t catch the tag. I will read it again.
L – yeah, I didn’t get it. I don’t know why anyone would ask expect that to work. I let her know how unhappy I was. I don’t think I said a word to her the entire way back to her parent’s house. We stopped dating about two weeks later.
Good for Me – please please don’t tell me you hold your pint glasses that way. We are so over if that’s the case. I can dismiss the parakeet because he’s cute, but the grip will take a lot of strength to overcome. Arizona can get very cold overnight especially in the Sedona area. A nice morning will make the chills go away quickly.
Grad School Reject – hey, welcome to my blog. I feel like I already know you, but this is your first comment on my blog and it’s my duty to welcome you. Thank you kindly for the nice introduction on your blog. Your question was much more difficult than I thought it would be. Thank you for the heads up on your post. The Six Degrees of Bloggers (or ChickyBabe) is very interesting. I chatted with a blogger about that very topic earlier today.
Amanda – did I bring up the iPod sock again? Crap. I think I have one unclaimed one left. I might have to buy some new ones to taunt bloggers for future contests. I will likely require an intervention. Hold me!
Mez – don’t you love it? I can’t help notice this sort of thing. She and I weren’t destined to work, the grip would drive me to drink.
**Pint Glass Grip Analysis**
Rachel – okay, I’ve carefully studied your hand in your submitted photo and here’s my analysis. We’ll start with obvious. You’re right handed and use a three finger grip. Your pinky rests under the bottom of the cup acting as a support to balance the beverage. You fear losing things important to you in your life such as beverages or humans. Your arm appears to be outstretched and this is seen as an inviting offer for people to approach you. You’re a social creature.
The cup rests towards the end of your fingertips enabling for easy beverage refills. You and the cup are attached, but it’s not lodged in your palm getting warm. The angle of the cup tilt is a fine example of a social person. It’s tipped slightly and is a clear sign you like to toast people as they enter your tractor beam. Again, you’re a social creature.
Your pint glass grip analysis is complete. I thank you kindly for you submission and look forward to assisting you in the future.
**review complete**
I just want you to know that I now have “Life is a Highway” stuck in my head! THANK YOU!
Mez – it really is a marvelous song. You should post it on a Monday sometime. I mean really, when is life not like a highway? I think there are tumbleweeds on most highways and you drive it all night long.
I’ll pencil it in right after I go fish the album out of the 99c bin at the music store!
Mez – I think Weird Al is much more talented than this fool Tom Cochrane. His song pisses me off, not in a Sting way, but still pretty bad.
oh man, I actually LOVE weird Al. *Like A Surgeon* – GOLD! lol
Brrr… I feel cold just reading this. Tropical heat for me!
These kinds of adventures were so great and so much fun to remember.
Egan ~ That analysis is pretty dead on. I am a social creature. I love to be with friends and family and I enjoy meeting new people.
I also do not cradle my beverages because I HATE tepid drinks. I also don’t like ice as it waters down the beverage.
I also fear losing things. I crave security.
you are about nuts to go camping in the snow! there would have been no way you could drag me along 🙂
You know, I slept with my underwear on my head on spring break too …and vomited in them. How embarassing would that have been? To John Bonham it out con underwear on my noggin. I survived, but my folks would have been so proud if I went out like that.
I went skiing one time … though I got the hang of it, it was a disaster at the beginning. When I was being given a demostration in the bunny slopes, I crashed into someone who was further down on the hill (in another group). Yeah … I laugh now when I think about it but I was mortified!!
She looks very defensive of her cup. Almost as if she let her guard down you’d snatch it up and swig down the swill inside.
Flannel boxers over your head and socks on your hands is begging to be the next Fully Klothed Thursday!
Who is the pint glass grabber?
After reading this story, I gotta say, and island, girls gone wild trip would’ve been better. 🙂
Life is a Highway, wow, that was like 1991 or so, huh?
I never went on any spring break trips in college because my mom was afraid I would be boobie flashin’.
Duh, I meant to say “an island” not “and”.
Mez – I’ve been touched for the very first time.
ChickyBabe – why am I not surprised by this? You love a good perve and cold weather isn’t all that conducive to perving.
Nessa – that they were. Oh, the memories as they say.
Rachel – I’m glad you approve of the analysis. I almost mentioned something about the beverage temp based on your grip, but passed on it for some lame reason. Thanks for playing.
Mone – why not? It’s just snow. It doesn’t bite. Wait, frostbite. Okay, maybe it does, but it was still a wicked good time.
Furiousball – I’ve never vomited in boxers, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have any good vomit stories because I do. Hmmm, should I share them?
Airam – was the guy you crashed into hot and did you happen to get his digits? Basically I want to know if this fall was an accident or planned. Your secret is safe with me.
*pixie* – you could be very right about this. You want to know what I really think? I think she uses that grip because she was a former smoker. How do you like them apples?
Pants – you could be on to something. Actually that was a bit of the Monkey Boy in action. The Pint Glass Grabber is someone I dated briefly in college. On the back of the photo it said “guess which one I am”. Makes me wonder why it said that because I think we met at a bar. My memory is hazy though.
Naynayfazz – well the warmer spring break thing isn’t much of an option for folks from Seattle as it’s expensive. It also wasn’t really my scene, but I do love me some Snoop Dogg and boobie flashing. Life is a Highway is definitely from that era. It was dying out during our trip in 1993.
Naynayfazz – I feel you.
Dude, I’m always serious about drinking. You can always spot the American college kids by the way they’re practically skipping on their way to the bar, yet exerting themselves to remain cool.
I’m 8 hrs from Big White. I’ve much more experience with Whistler/Blackcomb and the various Banff/Jasper/Kananaskis resorts. I think I prefer Alberta snow for skiing–it’s so much more powdery.
Now I want to go skiing and drinking.
it’s funny, i do hold my glass/cup differently depending on the setting. typically i hold it outward, however…i have been known to curl it inward towards my chest (as shown in pic) when i’m in a very large group. i have to say that your cup analysis above and take on “social behavior” could fit me here. the funky cup grip does come into play when i’m feeling intimidated or socially uncomfortable. bizarre.but i never — NEVER — allow my index finger to protrude above the cup lip.
I would trust her. She is pointing to her heart.
Jeci – yes, the snow in BC can be of the wetter variety, but this means it piles up quickly. Big White was nice and powdery though. Whistler is a great place, even if you don’t ski or board like my wife. The village is great for all sorts of things. I need to get back up there. Nothing wrong with thinking about skiing or drinking because of a blog post.
Good for Me – hey, damn… you spoiled the fun. I was going to suggest you send me a photo so I could analyze your grip. You beat me to it. Rachel said she liked my analysis, maybe there is a future in that realm. Yes, never ever let the index finger protrude over the rim. It’s poor form.
Gawpo – you think? I’m not sure that’s enough for me. I need to see it in the eyes.