I Mock in Your General Direction

The game: The Silent Game

The purpose: ignore someone because they’re annoying you or you’re not in the mood to chat for whatever reason.

On Wednesday morning I was a bit giddy.  I was perhaps too hyper running around the house making annoying noises and shit.  I was perhaps a bit stubborn about putting a couple lightly soiled dishes in our dishwasher.  I may have been a bit sarcastic about the situation because that’s how I tend to operate. 

At some point Mrs. Lessinges just gave up the fight.  She proclaimed, "I’m not talking to you anymore this morning".  I shrugged it off as we were about to head out the door to work.  I didn’t take her seriously because it was such a silly issue.  As we exit the house I noticed she’s not saying anything when provoked. 

She’s taking the Silent Game very seriously this morning.  When I try to play the Silent Game I cave within seconds.  All Mrs. Lessinges has to say is "don’t smile Egan, don’t do it… I can see you smiling" and then I flash a huge grin as a sign I’ve lost yet again.  The smirk overtakes me.

So as we’re heading to the car, shortly after I lock the front house door, I laugh at her attempt to not say anything.  For whatever reason it struck me as silly she thought she could keep silent on our 10 minute drive to work.  I laughed nonstop for the next three minutes as we drove to work, most of it was the real laughter, or until her makeup was running down her face.  Yes, I got her to laugh alright and then her laughter turned to tears.  This, my friends, is how you win the Silent Game in close quarters.  When the eye shadow runs, you can declare yourself a winner.  I have to brag about this one considering I never win when we thumb wrestle.


TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Leona, Alison, Renée, Gina, Gwen, and Neneh.*

* first names of female artists as I scrolled through my iPod.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Games, Mrs. Lessinges Approved. Bookmark the permalink.

57 Responses to I Mock in Your General Direction

  1. Amanda says:

    I never win the silent game when I’m being the silent one, either. But it’s a bit harder for me to make my husband crack when he’s being the silent player. My trick? Well…I don’t think that’s blog appropriate.

  2. egan says:

    Amanda – you de-pants him don’t you?

  3. I play a variant of this game with my home-phone company; they call to find out what I haven’t paid my bill, and I don’t pick up the phone to tell them I’m just too lazy to cancel.

  4. egan says:

    Snay – I’m amazed they haven’t cut you off yet. I’m guessing your internet connection isn’t tied into your phone service. I’m all-knowing like that. (Congrats on being the third commenter Snay!)

  5. Amanda says:

    Have you ever heard of “credit-carding” someone?

  6. L says:

    Sounds more like a new version of the Crying Game to me!

  7. egan says:

    Amanda – does it have anything to do with golden showers or Cleveland Steamers?

  8. egan says:

    L – thanks, now I have the Boy George song in my head.

  9. Churlita says:

    I don’t even attempt the silent game, because I will never, ever win. Congratulations to you.

  10. Egan – Broadband internet. AT&T home phone. I really should call them and cancel and pay my bill but I’m lazy full-time employee full time student.

  11. egan says:

    Churlita – I have to celebrate the few victories I get. My wife has a lot more willpower than me. Look at how I’m chained to these damn blog comments.
    Snay – yeah, I figured there’s no chance in hell you’d risk losing your internet connection. Do you really need your landline? I remember being a student, oh those were the days.

  12. Leezer says:

    The Silent Game works great with kids. When my daughter is upset with me, she plays the Silent Game and I do what your wife does, which is to say, “No smiling! Oh! I think you might be smiling! Absolutely NO smiling!” She’s usually happy again within seconds.

  13. egan says:

    Leezer – I see. You and I my wife might be cut from the same mold. See, I’m vulnerable to her tactics because I happen to think my wife is damn cute so when she uses those words with her voice, I’m screwed.

  14. Amanda says:

    No, but it does have to do with butt-cracks.

  15. egan says:

    Amanda – see my naughty mind headed a bit south of buttcrackamus. I have a pretty good idea what you’re talking about.

  16. Brooke says:

    It’s good that you won. Especially if you don’t plan on getting laid anytime in 2007.

  17. egan says:

    Brooke – hmm, you really don’t mean that do you? We’re not that competitive.

  18. Chris Durano says:

    I’ve played the silent game many times w/ the Mrs. too. It’s not really silent anymore once you have kids though because, to function, you need to say a few words like “did he eat?” or “did you brush her teeth?” Kind of sux…lose the fun of playing it. It’s pretty awkward too when you don’t talk to the wife but sound like your normal self when talking to your kids. It’s like the mute guy on “Hero’s” that all of sudden just started talking on an episode…weird!

  19. Amy says:

    Was that fight really fair? I’m sure hormones somehow contributed to that outcome.
    Instead of gloating, do something nice for her this evening. Buy her a single rose or some little treat. Tell her how happy you are that she is talking to you again.
    Gee whiz, she is caring your child after all, cut her some slack!

  20. Amanda says:

    Yeah, you’re so dirty…(and I can say this because I’m not???)
    Anyway that is my secret weapon when playing the silent game with Mr. ARM. But I don’t suggest using that on your pregnant wife. That might end very badly for you. Just sayin’.

  21. Cazzie says:

    I LMAO at the silent game. I do it to my kids when they are annoying me, when they want something I ignore them…and they cannot handle it. I think it is worse than even spanking them, because THEY want attention!!!
    Laughter or tickling seems to break the silent game in seconds 🙂

  22. meno says:

    I am the silent game champ in our house. The Mister cracks after a few minutes.

  23. patches says:

    The Silent Game has been played here by both parties, but I don’t remember the outcomes other than obviously somebody caved. Today we played a different game. We played the Missus pretends not to notice that the Mister is playing passive aggressive with his brothers. My that was fun!

  24. justrun says:

    Dang, I stink at the silent game. I stink at the silent anything, really.
    Also, very cute.

  25. Eunice says:

    I suck at the silent game. I usually get frustrated that the other person usually decides to play back and crack first.

  26. sizzle says:

    awesome. i love that you thumb wrestle!

  27. Airam says:

    I’m the queen of silence!! You can’t break me!!!

  28. Lynn says:

    It sounds like you and the Mrs. play the abridged version of the silent game…my hubby and I play the extended version.

  29. Lynda says:

    I can’t play the Silent Game. I tend to forget that I am playing it and always say something. I can be absent-minded at times. LOL.

  30. egan says:

    Chris Durano – I should watch Heroes since everyone raves about it so much. I can’t imagine there are many silent moments in a house with two young children.
    Amy – you’re definitely right. I need to pamper her because she clearly didn’t deserve this behavior. Making someone laugh and then cry is toying with their emotions. I already pledged to rub her feet this weekend.
    Amanda – we’re no longer talking about Silent But Deadlies are we?
    Cazzie – tickling is a great technique to get anyone to make noises. Laughter is a miracle drug too.
    Meno – I can see you being really good at this. Being all intimidating and stoic will lead you to victory almost every time.
    Patches – ha, that’s a new game, I’m not too familar with it. What was the outcome? Did the brothers ruin The Mister? By the way, are you aroused by “non-binding resolutions”?
    Justrun – you stank at silent anything? Do I sense a confession here? Thanks for the “cute” remark. I’m glad neither of us holds a grudge for more than four minutes.
    Eunice – I know how that can be. I don’t expect a willing participant and then I crumble. I need to practice my poker face.
    Sizzle – it’s how we resolve big decision making duties. I lose on purpose… or so I say.
    Airam – oh really? I will ask your students about this one. Is this a challenge by the way?
    Lynn – yep, we have no desire to play the extended version. It only makes one of us stew and that’s never a good thing. Does the extended version include a gameboard?
    Lynda – yes, you must make sure you read the rules before playing the silent game. No talking or you lose. Any questions?

  31. justrun says:

    Most definitely not. No confessions from me, at least not on this subject. 🙂

  32. ubermilf says:

    I don’t use the silent treatment. It is a welcome respite rather than a punishment, so it doesn’t serve the purpose.
    In future, singing at the top of your lungs will usually get the person to talk.

  33. Lynn says:

    The extended version doesn’t include a gameboard, but there are very specific rules…the most important one being “Give the other person time and space to become less royally pissed off”. As long as this rule is followed, no problem. On the occasions when dh or I have forgotten to follow the rule, and have tried to end the game quickly, through laughter, the silent game goes into overtime, complete with dirty looks and glares.

  34. naynayfazz says:

    That is cute. I am glad you and Mrs. L don’t take arguements so seriously.

  35. furiousball says:

    You took the high road, the other way to win the silent game in close quarters involves ripping a big one

  36. patches says:

    I wouldn’t say they ruined him…but he is driving out to meet them this morning so they can stand in a circle and point fingers, and say I told you so.
    The non-binding resolution thing was another example of waisted legislative resources. I think it was the last story du jour, I watched on cable news, the whole thing disgusted me so much that I quit watching the news…but I’m missing stuff so I might have to go back to Slate, and read their critiques on mainstream news coverage……I guess I’ve worn out my current events example, time to start paying attention again.

  37. Amanda says:

    Were we talking about them before? I guess I missed that part.

  38. Burr-ee-toe says:

    I think I might use the silent game at inappropriate times. If we’re in the middle of a fight and I’m exhausted from going in circles, I just give up and stop talking. That never helps the fight – shocker.

  39. sprizee says:

    You two are so cute.

  40. egan says:

    Justrun – darn, I thought I could get you to make a shocking confession. I’ll wait it out.
    Ubie – singing at the top of my lungs is like a death sentence. It’s just not a good idea. You’re right about the silent treatment, it’s not the right way to go.
    Lynn – I like the overtime part of the Silent Game. Are there faceoffs with the overtime period? Who tends to win? Inquiring minds want to know, I want to know!
    Naynayfazz – it’s really not worth staying mad in my book. If she eats the last bite of ice cream, we may have to revisit the rules though.
    Furiousball – say it ain’t so, you fart? Oh man, I didn’t know men farted. That’s something else. We only toot from what I recall.
    Patches – first of all, meow! Now to my point. I happened to notice you using the “non-binding resolution” example on a few comments so I felt I must give you a bad time. Now, start paying attention again.
    Amanda – you missed that part because that’s how SBDs are designed. You’re not supposed to notice, if done correctly.
    Burr-ee-toe – you fight with your fiancé? Please tell me you’re kidding. Another bad time to use the Silent Game, while in a meeting with a boss.
    Sprizee – yes, you can pinch my cheek if you want.

  41. Lynn says:

    No face offs in overtime. I win… because I just get into my hormonal hell attitude, and nothing can beat that… even a royal flush in poker would lose to it. Poor DH doesn’t stand a chance!

  42. egan says:

    Lynn – ha, that’s funny about the hormonal shift beating the royal flush. I might need to hear your husband’s version of this story. Is he telling people he never loses too?

  43. Lynn says:

    I think the reality is that my dh probably doesn’t even give who wins a second thought. Once the “game” is over, it’s over and forgotten. (He definitely doesn’t hold grudges) If pressed, he would probably say that he “let’s me win” which would royally piss me off, cause it’s not true…I win fair and square! And if I ever heard him saying anything about letting me win, then we would be in for the ultra mega extended version of the silent game!!!
    No seriously, I just got off the phone with him and asked him this question point blank. He said “Whoever is right usually wins”.
    Since by definition, I am a woman and I am always right…logic would dictate that I always win. Which is what I said in the first place.

  44. egan says:

    Lynn – I appreciate you taking time to humor my playful comment and questions. Holding grudges isn’t a good idea. So women are always right? I think I’ve heard this claim somewhere else. I need to conduct some research and I will be back with my findings.

  45. Amanda says:

    OH yeah. I should have known that considering the torment those caused me growing up. I guess I blocked it from my mind.

  46. Lynn says:

    I can’t wait to hear what your research indicates.

  47. You guys are so tricky — why can’t you just let us be mad at you? 🙂

  48. Amy says:

    Hope you are buying some special lotion for her pampering.

  49. Burr-ee-toe says:

    Well not in a long time, but when he was still on the meds making him crazy we would. Thankfully he’s a way normal person and not on those meds anymore. 🙂

  50. egan says:

    Amanda – you have brothers right? They most certainly mastered the SBD trick.
    Lynn – my research indicates women have a higher threshold for pain than men do. Is this something we can agree upon?
    Undercover Celebrity – that would be too much work. It’s so much easier to kiss and make up. Maybe next time.
    Airam – how’s the Wii?

  51. Lynn says:

    Yes, we are in complete agreement:~)

  52. egan says:

    Lynn – I have other theories so stay tuned. I’m glad we’re forging ahead with our new plan to share everything. Have a swell weekend.

  53. ChickyBabe says:

    As long as the silent game ends in tears of joy, I’d play too!

  54. ttq says:

    oh we play that game in my house too. It always starts with me saying “I’m not talking to you anymore-it’s impossible, can’t you ever just answer yes or no without sarcasm?”
    Example: I asked what he wanted for dinner. He said biscuits and gravy..odd but ok I have strange requests sometimes too. I go to the damn store and bought all the makings. I get home and he says Honey, I was just kidding. Well, mostly.
    Me: I’m not talking to you anymore tonight do you want the biscuits and gravy or not? Silent treatment ensuses and he got biscuits and gravy he didn’t really want.

  55. Cake Lady says:

    Are you sure that you won? Were you sure those were laughter tears and not hormonal tears? I don’t know if those ugly things called hormones have attacked her yet but be sure they will.

  56. egan says:

    ChickyBabe – if there aren’t tears of joy, then it’s not being played by the rules. You have to laugh or cry or else you lose.
    TTQ – hello there and welcome to my blog. This is an interesting example. Is your hubby trying to push your buttons or something? Seems weird he’d jerk your chain like this.
    Cake Lady – the hormones have attacked her. How could they not? I read that a pregnant woman produces so many hormones it would take 150 years to produce that much without being pregnant. (double comment removed)

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