FKT: Birthing Ball

FktballI got a really special request from someone combing through my archives last week.  This very kind blogger asked me to do another Fully Klothed Thursday post.  Well, I’m not sure if this photo will be to her liking or not since I’m lacking a threatening pose.  Bad things happen late at night in the basement of Monkey Boy, mainly blogging and much tv watching.

What you see here is a man who’s due to become a parent in four short months.  It might make you wonder if there should be regulations in place for potential parents.  Perhaps a screening of sorts to make sure certain individuals are fit to raise kids.  If one can balance on a oversized ribbed ball, maybe this means they will be the best parent ever?  I went with a sports theme as you can see with all my flashy sports gear.  Call me a brand whore if you must.

For those of you as old as me, maybe you remember the Greatest American Hero guy.  You know the "Believe it or not it’s just me" guy?  I kind of resemble him in this picture minus the ability to fly and a contract which likely paid him in the six figures.  Believe it or not, it’s just Monkey Boy.

ARTICLES OF KLOTHING: 1) Nike prescription sunglasses 2) Nike visor 3) Road Runner Sports running jacket 4) long sleeve t-shirt from a St. Patty’s Day run 5) Banana Republic low rise jeans 6) New Balance running shoes 7) white athletic socks 8) Timex watch 9) ginch

PROPS: 1) birthing ball

Garage Sale Value: $22 USD
Street Shock Value: 2 of 7

*Dull FKT Disclaimer – Feel free to mock or copy this crap idea of mine if you want. Don’t feel obligated to do this thing every Thursday and shit. Don’t fret, I won’t send harassing emails to you on a weekly basis demanding you post some hot picture on your blog. That’s way too much work for me and besides, I find reading other blogs boring. I try and spend as little time as possible reading and/or commenting on blogs. I prefer to spread my love for random people in other ways. I don’t feel like delving into those sorts of details pubicly on my blog. Gnome sane?


TODAY’S RULED OUT BABY NAMES: Claire, Shannon, Kate, Juliet, Libby, and Rose.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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53 Responses to FKT: Birthing Ball

  1. Amanda says:

    I can’t stop laughing at this entire post. So many things. So many things.

  2. brother3 says:

    Wow…”your” birthing ball looks the same as my work-out ball…quite ironic when you consider your ball is for those with a big belly and mine is for keeping a trim belly. I wonder if Starbuck’s sells these yet?

  3. Amanda says:

    Lost names…excellent

  4. egan says:

    Amanda – there’s no reason to laugh. This is an entirely serious post. Please refrain from laughter.
    Brother3 – oh, you could be on to something. I bought this blue ball for crunches and shit. Then I toured the hospital and it was explained to me they can also be used to influence contractions. I still use it for crunches, but the image isn’t lost. As far as I know, Starbucks isn’t selling them.

  5. egan says:

    Amanda – damn, that was too easy wasn’t it? I tried to throw a few less common ones in the mix.

  6. Amanda says:

    I’m just good, Egan. And a Lost whore, so there you have it.
    And I will laugh if I want. Because this line If one can balance on a oversized ribbed ball, maybe this means they will be the best parent ever? is excellent logic, my friend.

  7. egan says:

    Amanda – if there’s one thing I can do (maybe two) it’s balance on an oversized ball and put together very logical thoughts. Now excuse me while I stare down my co-workers.
    Yes, you’re a Lost whore. Don’t say anything yet. I only watched half of it.

  8. Amanda says:

    Ok. I don’t have any spoilers on my post today, but I do speak of the show, so you might not want to read my blog until you’ve watched the whole thing just in case you’re sensitive like that.
    I’m staring down a co-worker, too. She doesn’t know that I am, but I am. I think I’ve flipped her off through our wall about 5 times today.

  9. egan says:

    Amanda – I read the post, skimming past the Lost stuff though. I loved your bit about the powers of persuasion. Oh, I flip off people in the bathroom stall next to me all the time. It’s how I operate.

  10. YOU RULED OUT CLAIRE?????? I’m gonna stop reading…just kidding

  11. egan says:

    steppingoverthejunk – is it fair to assume one of your daughters is named Claire?

  12. meno says:

    And my daughter’s name is Claire Juliet Libby Rose Smith, damn you!

  13. Rachel says:

    This reminds me of when I was kid trying to balance on my Hippity Hop. I always wanted to ride it through a store after I saw a movie where people were doing it.
    Do they make adult size Hippity Hops?

  14. egan says:

    Meno – I have a hunch you’re not telling me the truth. I think her name is M, but I could be mistaken.
    Rachel – what are Hippity Hops? Are those the round balls with handles? Like a Pogo Stick™?

  15. Airam says:

    I love this photo!! Looks to me like you’ll be a very fun and wacky daddy!!

  16. egan says:

    Airam – I’m going to embarrass the shit out of my daughter. I think at some point she’s going to kick me in the balls for my antics. Most likely in her teens.

  17. sprizee says:

    Dear Monkey Boy,
    I have one of those balls except mine’s teal. Does this mean I’m about to give birth?
    Inquiringly Yours,

  18. Amanda says:

    What the hell is a ginch?

  19. Amanda says:

    Is that some kind of secret boy code for something?

  20. christina says:

    I was going to say something insightful but the glare from the reflective bands on your jacket seared off my retinas, rendering me blind and unable to see my keyboard.

  21. patches says:

    Were you balancing on this ball when you hit yourself in the face with a wrench? The reflective band on your jacket looks like a lightning bolt through your body. I guess that explains your look of surprise.

  22. sizzle says:

    i love that shot! i think it just proves that you will be a fun dad.
    i loved greatest american hero.

  23. Amy says:

    This is the second time today I LMAO because of one of those darn balls. My cousin and her 2 year old were here this afternoon. The little guy picked up the giant ball and fired it down the stairs to hit his mommy. He laughed his ass off, and the two of us couldn’t help but laugh along with him. We were such bad disciplinarians, I hope his daddy does a better job.
    You might want to hide the ball after the baby arrives. Every kid who visits attempts do exactly what you are doing in the photo. Not exactly a safe activity for a little one, especially indoors.

  24. Lynn says:

    Who took this picture? Surely it isn’t the esteemed Mrs L…and if it was Mrs. L….is she rethinking having a baby with you?
    All kidding aside…I think this shows that you’ll make a terrific, goofy, fun loving dad …until you embarrass your daughter.

  25. egan says:

    Sprizee – no, your teal ball does not mean you’re about to give birth. It means you use yours for exercise and not to bring kids into this world.
    Amanda – must I explain everything to you? Research it and get back to me.
    Amanda – yes, it’s code for briefs. Sometimes when you want to keep the boys close to home, that’s what you wear.
    Christina – I know. Now you can clearly see why no motorist should miss me while I’m running late at night.
    Patches – um, nope. I wasn’t balancing on the ball while using the pipe wrench. Currently the ball is under my legs while the iBook is on my lap, acting as an ottoman.
    Sizzle – why thank you very much belated birthday girl. I hope to be a fun dad, but only time will tell. The Greatest American Hero was such a zany show, but I liked it because of the curly haired actor.
    Amy – you’re right, the little ones do love these exercise/birthing balls. We’ve seen first hand how much they enjoy them at our house. I will be deflating them when she can walk.

  26. egan says:

    Lynn – this picture was taken by yours truly using the timer feature on my Canon digital camera. Mrs. Lessinges enjoys and embraces all that Monkey Boy has to offer. Thanks for the compliment.

  27. Candace says:

    Dude, I SO hope you bought the $20 exercise balol instead of the $70 “birthing ball.” If not, you really need to consult me before making more birth purchases. ^_^
    That’s a very hot look for you. I can almost imagine cleavage.

  28. Candace says:

    Are yu sure you didn’t hit yourself with a Monkey Wrench?

  29. Lynda says:

    As far as I know, you don’t need a license to be a parent…yet. Actually, being able to balance on one of those yoga/pilates/flexi/birthing (Is there a way each is different?) balls probably will make you a really awesome parent who knows how to have fun.
    The face kind of resembles Ralph Hinkley (The Greatest American Hero), but I could have sworn he was really, really unnaturally blond.

  30. ChickyBabe says:

    So who zapped you?

  31. Amanda says:

    Thanks for keeping me educated. I guess I just don’t know weird slang for certain undergarments, private parts, and other things.
    I keep forgetting to write it, but it’s awesome that you’re wearing an Asics jacket. I love the Asics brand. My favorite pair of shoes ever were my Asics Tigers. Man, I wish I still had those!

  32. mez says:

    hahaha, I looooooove how you’re not afraid to let your freak flag fly 😀 <3<3<3
    Hm, how about Freak Flag Flying Friday Foto?

  33. furiousball says:

    that’s funny – i have a pilates ball beat down on my blog today…that means something…well no, but yes.

  34. brookem says:

    shit, i gotta get on the posting bandwagon a little earlier with your blog. my LOST name epiphony doesn’t really count now. it looks like i cheated, when reallly, i got it, right away! i swear.
    liking your look. all reflective and stuff!

  35. CS says:

    With that jacket’s reflective stripe, it looks like you have electricty shooting acorss your chest.

  36. egan says:

    Candace – I like so did buy the like $20 exercise ball and not like the $70 birthing ball because I’m hella smart and shit.
    Candace – yes, I’m sure I didn’t hit myself with a monkey wrench.
    Lynda – glad to know I might pass the test for parenthood. Ralph Hinkley, aka William Katt, it is. I don’t think he ever went on to do anything else, Model Inc. doesn’t count as anything.
    ChickyBabe – it was one of those nifty mosquito zappers.
    Amanda – Asics makes some great stuff. I love their shoes. Actually the coat is a Road Runner Sports running jacket. I’m such a brand whore.
    Mez – thank you friend. You simple comment warmed my heart. Have a good weekend.
    Furiousball – the pilates ball wronged you somehow? I guess I will have to wander over to your blog and see what all the ruckus is about.
    Brookem – I trust that you figured it out, I really do. You’ll have to chime in earlier to prove your meddle.

  37. egan says:

    CS – yes, you’re correct… that’s electricity coursing through my veins. When I’m not blogging, I’m fighting crime. Keep your eyes peeled.

  38. Burr-ee-toe says:

    hahahahaha. Very reflective. I like that you’re still safe!

  39. Churlita says:

    How will you mix being a super hero with being a dad? You’ll have to use all your special powers.

  40. egan says:

    Burr-ee-toe – I’m a safe guy. I don’t want to get run over while out on a late night run.
    Churlita – I think it’s possible to be both. I would chose the ability to fly.

  41. Good for Me says:

    Dude Cervelo, this is hysterical. I love how your reflective gear is shining from the flash. You’re gonna be a great dad, birth ball balancing or not.

  42. tori says:

    One of your ruled out names is the name of one of my daughters. But I won’t take any offense or anything.

  43. Amanda says:

    I’m just a whore in general.
    Damn it…I keep saying too much in comments. Must stop.
    Oh and I found a website that sells the Asics shoes that I used to have (new ones, naturally…not the ones I actually used to have).

  44. egan says:

    Good for Me – it’s either hysterical or traumatic. Let’s go with hysterical for now. I can also walk a tight rope and roll my tongue.
    Tori – you shouldn’t take offense to it considering all the names happen to be character names from a show I know you watch on Wednesday nights.
    Amanda – yes, I’m sick and tired of your comments on my blog. Shut your trap okay? Yes, that is an order and failure to comply could result in massive amounts of iPod sock threats. Thank you in advance.

  45. Cake Lady says:

    I haven’t thought about “The Greatest American Hero” in ages. I loved that show. He was so HOT!!! I bet he couldn’t balance on a birthing ball.

  46. Amanda says:

    I’m going to pretend you didn’t write that. You don’t scare me with your iPod sock threat Monsieur.

  47. Hannelie says:

    Ha ha ha, too funny Egan.
    I love the reflecting bits to bits.
    Hey I got two of those balls, they’re great for kids to play with (parenting tip?) LOL
    Now, Nike prescription glasses?
    Are they your training glasses?
    I know some fisher men use similar once over hear, glare reducing or some sort of thing isn’t it?
    (BTW glad you liked my cartoon – thanks for always stopping by).

  48. Good for Me says:

    okay, the tightrope thing has me more impressed than i am already. but the tongue rolling? can do. did you know tongue rolling is a genetic trait?

  49. egan says:

    Cake Lady – did you honestly have a thing for Mr. William Katt? This is important to me since I looked up to his blond curly locks.
    Amanda – you’re totally scared. Maybe you’d like to purchase a few of them and have them mailed to your house?
    Hannelie – the Nike prescription sunglasses are what I use for my triathlons. They’re great for cycling and running and block out a bit of the sun. Yeah, I’ve seen with my own eyes how much kids love those exercise/birthing balls.
    Good for Me – I may have stretched the truth a tiny bit when talking about tight ropes. Yes, I’m aware the tongue rolling is genetic which is why I happened to mention it. Maybe not so funny in hindsight.

  50. Amanda says:

    You just want to rid me of all my money, don’t you? I see how it is.

  51. egan says:

    Amanda – money grows on trees so why not give it to me for all my hard work? My goal is to make you happy.

  52. Hannelie says:

    Big kids like you? LOL

  53. egan says:

    Hannelie – yes, you busted me. I could play with birthing balls all day long. That kind of sounds naughty.

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