"So how far along are you? Are you excited?"
Alright, it has come to my attention we clearly need more adjectives when it comes to expectant parents. Everyone ask us the same question over and over. Are you excited? Are you excited? This question baffles me, it really does. And since it humors me so much, my wife and I have created some clever ways to respond to this question.
So tell me, are you excited about the baby?
- Nope, we are not excited seeing as my wife got knocked up by a bellhop in California.
- It was either have the child or an abortion, so sure… we’re excited.
- Yes, so excited I’m quitting my job and never working again.
- Well, I did have a vasectomy last year so…. hmmm.
- Excited? Yes, yet I do wish I knew how many other kids I have.
- Fuck, will I ever be able to blog again?
Now that I’ve got that off my chest, it’s time for a new words. EXCITED. Great for many things, but also damn vague in the way "interesting" can be. We’ve got to find something more descriptive of how one might feel about looming parenthood. Excited isn’t the only word out there. Please people, let’s create new word. No reasonable suggestions will be mocked.
*Note: This isn’t an official baby contest for those interested parties.