This Just In….

Mebad_2 …we’re still childless.  I have much more to add to this post, but I don’t currently have my thinking cap on.  If I don’t post something new here for a couple days, I fear you will all assume I’m a dad.  Well maybe you’re not quite like that, but my mind goes there.  I’m not a dad yet!  I think I’m going to run this post everyday until Anna arrives.  What a marvelous idea. 

Now stay tuned as there’s likely to be a picture to accompany this post later.  It might be a unicorn, it might be a sunflower, it might be me fully klothed.  You’ll just have to tune back in later to find out. 

——————

Baby Term of the Day: "bloody show"  –> contrary to populary belief, the term "bloody show" isn’t a dreadfully unfunny sitcom or crappy bit of drama at  your local theatre.  It’ doesn’t even translate to "fucking show" if your thinking along the lines of British slang.  It’s usually a warning sign that active labor is about to begin as a pregnant woman begin spotting.  This can occur before or after the mucous plug vacates the premises.

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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57 Responses to This Just In….

  1. Chris says:

    Did I manage to score the top spot again?
    Hnag in there Big Dady, and take good care of mommy to be as well as yourself.

  2. Airam says:

    You nearly gave me a heart attack with that title!!!!

  3. Amanda says:

    1. Do you have any idea how much my heart jumped when I read this post title in my live feeds thing. Don’t do that to me, dude! Cruel, cruel, cruel!
    2. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. The words “mucous plug” and “vacates” give me the heebies.

  4. Amanda says:

    One more time.
    Ew.

  5. Amanda says:

    Thank you Airam!!! That’s what I’m saying!! WTF was he thinking?

  6. Airam says:

    Damn Amanda you’ve got fast-fingers … you typed three comments all in one minute!!! You’ve got mad skills.
    And so you know … in my latest post .. I didn’t link you ok!

  7. brookem says:

    you had me about to flip out with that title too.
    and i second the ew’s from amanda. common egan, “mucous plug” ???? really? you went there?

  8. MonkeyDragon says:

    12 plus days to go – weeks I tell you, weeks –
    those of us with teenagers just come here to smile and nod 😉
    and I so knew what “bloody show” was too! LOL!
    not that you might actually notice this before DW’s head spins and the green stuff starts to spew and she grabs your neck . . .

  9. brandy says:

    Dudes. Mucous plug? Shivers. (The bad kind) You know what I love? The grossiest part of the blog is something that Airam, Brookem and now I have all had to repeat.
    As for little Anna’s almost arrival, I’m getting so excited for you. I can’t wait for the big day. Although, is it weird that I’m secretly hoping she’s born on July 31st? So she could share a birthday with Harry Potter? Yeah, I’ve reflected on it. It’s weird. You don’t need to answer that. But still. Fingers crossed.

  10. Tall Chick says:

    Mucous plug. 🙂 It’s like blowing your nose out of your bajingo after a sinus infection. Seriously. *snicker*
    Now that I’ve put everyone off their coffee. . . ^_^

  11. celeste says:

    “mucous plug vacates…”
    TMI Egan!!!!!
    haha

  12. mez says:

    I seriously had a 10 minute discussion about bloody shows last night with my friend. How sad my life has become. I don’t even have a child to dangle around to show for all this knowledge! ugh.

  13. PINK says:

    take a walk with your wife to help get things going.
    it only took my sister 600 times around her block!
    hang in there!
    xx
    pinks

  14. Michelle says:

    You’ve been reading the baby books. And yes, I’m one of those – if you go too long without posting, I do assume that your wife has gone into labor. Although I can easily see you quickly running to the computer to quickly type out a post letting us all know you’re on the way to the hospital..

  15. ChickyBabe says:

    TMI! TMI!
    That’s too much info in case you didn’t know… give me British sitcoms any day!

  16. my favorite term was “mucus plug”.

  17. Mone says:

    I dont wont to seem mean, but many times the first one is being late. My first one 14 days overdue, the second one 20 days. I’m glad I didnt have a third one, maybe that one would have set the record, hahaha.
    hang in there Egan!

  18. Amanda says:

    I had this feeling that Tall Chick was going to pipe up with the M.P. stuff. And now the visual is even worse than it was the first time I read this. And she hasn’t put me off just me coffee…
    eeeeeewwwwwww
    That…is some good birth control right there, my friends. The word and then TC’s description.

  19. tori says:

    My kids were all early, so I have no idea what these last few days/weeks are like but I can imagine that it is like torture sitting around wondering if today will be the day.
    Has anyone warned you about that first baby poop that will be sticky as tar? Luckily, I had a c-section and was all stuck in my bed with tubes everywhere so my husband got to change that one. We figured it was only fair since I did all the baby cooking for 8/9 months or so.

  20. justrun says:

    My gosh, you are SO in that state of mind- I wouldn’t be able to post either.
    So exciting! (The kind of exciting that makes you want to jump up and down and then puke, I’m sure.)

  21. sprizee says:

    It was my understanding there would be no references to vaginal bleeding on this blog. I stand corrected.

  22. please… PLEASE never talk about the bloody show again — I was not ready to read about that with my morning coffee and bagel 🙂
    …good luck biding your time until the baby arrives — I can’t imagine how antsy I would be. Of course, when I am trying to zone out to pass time, I find a Project Runway or Man vs. Wild marathon really does the trick!

  23. meno says:

    There’s nothing like giving birth to remind us that we really are animals.

  24. Chris says:

    sprizee – i thought the same thing but apparently big daddy has thrown out the rulebook.

  25. CJ says:

    I’m glad that I know what I know about the “bloody show” now…
    I feel that I need nothing more from life.
    Capitol Hill block party this weekend?
    Sea Fair Parade?
    Whatever you do, let us cross our fingers that we can keep the sunshine goin’
    Have a good one Les Singes.

  26. sprizee says:

    It was my understanding no commenter of this here blog would ever refer to Egan as “big daddy”. I stand corrected again.
    Chris, let’s go find that rulebook and update that sucker.

  27. liv says:

    You’ve got just shy of 2 weeks. And perhaps the baby will be late… maybe you should just step back from the keyboard and make us speculate. The imaginary scenarios might be more comical than any actual blog post… but, that would not be very like the loyal bull I know.

  28. churlita says:

    I used to work in an ob/gyn clinic. I’m very familiar with that term.

  29. sprizee says:

    I’m more frightened about your pants being AQUA than your face being silver, MAN. I just checked, and yes, that is the appropriate response.

  30. Amanda says:

    That crazy-funny picture doesn’t make up for the fact that you wrote about gross pregnancy things.

  31. Amanda says:

    Nor does it help the shivers I get when I read TC’s comment.

  32. Amanda says:

    My reaction to these things are good indicators that I should probably never get pregnant.

  33. Chris says:

    Oh boy – i’m thinking it’s time for an intervention.

  34. Amanda says:

    “There is nothing we won’t do to help you, Egan.”

  35. Jeff VanVonderen says:

    We’re all here because we love you to death.

  36. Jeff VanVonderen says:

    And I”m thinking that I need to have a intervention for Amanda, too. Because I think she’s supposed to be writing her reviews for her job.

  37. egan says:

    Chris – Big Daddy? It’s E-FO man. You clearly have been watching too much of the BoSox, Big Papi.
    Airam – really? That wasnt’t the intent.
    Amanda – really? That wasn’t the intent. Oh, you love mucous plugs. I can go into more detail if you so desire.
    Amanda – seriously, just be thankful I didn’t pay as close attention in birthing class as I could have. Exhale!
    Amanda – hey, still no baby.
    Airam – you make it sound like Amanda’s fast fingers are a bad thing. Yikes. That’s a bit perverted. My bad.
    Brookem – no need to flip out. It’s just mucous which happens to be in your nose. Yes, I went there alright and I’m not afraid to go there again.
    MonkeyDragon – you laugh at my trials of becoming an adult eh? I guess I would too, at least it’s entertaining for you. That’s all I can hope for. Yes, I hear it’s a green discharge. Yum.
    Brandy – Harry Potter, the character, really does have a July 31st birthday? I’m mighty impressed you know this. Mucous plug!
    Tall Chick – I knew there was I reason I adored you. Thanks for the vivid description. Those without kids thank you too.
    Celeste – perhaps it was TMI, but I did spare you. Just you wait. (snickers)
    Mez – I’m sorry. Your friend shouldn’t be chatting to you about “bloody shows”. Leave that shit for a male blogger from Seattle.
    Pink – take a walk, I like that idea. I hear jumping on trampolines, incense, and sex also work. I like these options.
    Michelle – you can see me posting some last minute entry just before heading out to the hospital? Wow, I suppose I’m a bit more transparent than I thought. You’re probably right. I do lots of reading, I seek knowledge… therefore I blog.
    ChickyBabe – okay, no more talk of bloody shows. I don’t want you angry with me. I hold you near and dear to my heart. Meow!
    Steppingoverthejunk – doesn’t it just roll off the tongue?
    Mone – a third child would be three weeks late? I don’t have the patience in me to wait more than a week after the due date. She could come early, she could come late. Only time will tell. I think I had a contraction today.
    Amanda – really? Tall Chick is good. I think she might take back the mucous plug comment though if you will reconsider your procreation stance. Deal?
    Tori – I love that you tell me about early kids. I’m sick of hearing about late deliveries for first kids. Ugh. I know all about the first dump. I hear you can use it to hold bricks together.
    Justrun – you’re very close about my state of mind. I might not puke though. My mind just isn’t able to focus on much more than my blog though.
    Sprizee – clearly you forgot about the post when I was referred to as “tampon breath”.
    Undercover Celebrity – would you like a bloody show with your coffee? We need to start a Bear fan club. I want to make love to him.
    Meno – giving birth works or an election also does the trick.
    Chris – there’s a rulebook for my blog? Huh, I guess this means I can post nude pictures of myself and heaps of memes. Sweet!
    CJ – the sunshine is very nice, but when it gets above 80 and your wife is pregnant… it can become a bit uncomfortable if one doesn’t have a/c in their house. Anyways, thanks for the blessing. Seafair is in the house. Hydroplanes are wicked cool.
    Sprizee – when you find that rulebook, I want to take a glance. Does it say whether or not I can post images of my genitals?
    Liv – you’re even more crazy than I first thought. Not posting for like 3-4 days would be cruel… I like the way you think.
    Churlita – so does this mean you have your very own speculum?
    Sprizee – I think those are scrubs. This photo is kind of old and taken in Boston.
    Amanda – damn, you’re on to me again.
    Amanda – you can simply avoid reading Tall Chick’s comment and focus on placenta paté.
    Amanda – never say never. There are much weirder things our bodies do than produce offspring.

  38. egan says:

    Chris – an intervention? What kind of intervention are we talking about Chris? I don’t need a bloody intervention. I’m completely normal. (head spins around 8 times)
    Jeff VanVonderen – wow, so kind of you to stop by my blog for a visit. Do you love me to death for reals?
    Jeff VanVonderen – how do you know Amanda? Have you paid her a visit? Did she ignore you because she was busy blogging? She will tell you it’s not a problem, but don’t listen to her. She has a serious problem. She will try to charm you, don’t fall for it.

  39. Brrrr says:

    good thing you clarified that. otherwise i may have thought you were talking about a vampire broadway show.

  40. egan says:

    Brrrr – I know, mucous plugs seem to be equally as scary as vampire broadway shows. It’snot my fault.

  41. Where on Earth did you get those pants?? They’re fabulous!!

  42. brookem says:

    this picture is recirculating i see.
    sorry, im supposed to be buzzing off your blog.

  43. a Bear Grylls fan club is a great idea — but I can’t even fathom what level of Membership one would have to purchase to be able to make love to Bear. Hmmm… perhaps he could work it into an episode — you know, if all the people on earth where wiped out by a catechlismic event, to “SURVIVE,” you would have to procreate. Of course, this espisode pitch would only work for me. Getting Bear to engage in gay sex with you will require a different plan altogether.

  44. Amanda says:

    Jeff VanVonderen is stalking me. I think he needs an intervention. I mean, really. Hmpf.
    You need to watch this clip
    “I’m not LOLing right now…” Cracks my shit up.

  45. sprizee says:

    Ah, tampon breath. I can remember it like it was yesterday. You had just had your tooth extracted. And your lovely wife accused you of having it after you leaned a little too close to her nose while shopping at Metropolitan Market or while driving home. The exact details are fuzzy.
    Have you started filling out that restraining order yet?

  46. Jenin says:

    Ugh Bloody Show… Ugh… Yucky… yeah have fun with that!!
    Ahh you’re ALMOST AN OFFICIAL DAD OMG WHOA!

  47. Lynn says:

    Whatever you do, I implore you, please do NOT look like your picture when your daughter is born. The silver face paint is probable highly toxic. Baby Anna might be traumatized for life…not to mention that the Mrs. wouldn’t be too happy. As far as the mucous plug, and the bloody show…don’t remember seeing either, with the birth of my kids.

  48. liv says:

    okay, but I’m so ADD that I can’t even stick to not posting… honestly, I think I should write a new self-help series detailing support for people who can’t get addicted to anything…

  49. celeste says:

    I’m afraid. Very afraid.

  50. CS says:

    That is one truly scary photo.
    Ah, bloody shows and mucous plugs. Now I’m feeling all nostalgic.

  51. Jennifer says:

    You are bringing back all of the WORST memories of pregnancy with such language. The things you conveniently forget that enable you to go through it more than once. Willingly.
    So have you thought of a post title for the real deal yet?

  52. Tall Chick says:

    All I can think when I see this pic is Tin Man. But you never struck me as heartless.
    Placenta pate! Very nice! How about a chaser of Amniotic Ambrosia?

  53. egan says:

    Chaos Control – those pants were purchased as part of a Halloween costume while in Boston nine years ago. I think I found them in a thrift store or maybe I borrowed them from a friend.
    Brookem – I used this picture before? Crikey. Yes, please buzz off and stop meeting bloggers I’ve met.
    Undercover Celebrity – ha, what would one do to be part of Bear’s fan club? Maybe you’d have to drink your own piss or wrap your urined stained t-shirt on your head. There are many great ideas. I can’t believe a new one wasn’t on last night.
    Amanda – now that’s a tremendous clip. I love me a good Intervention parody. Thanks for that.
    Sprizee – there’s no way I’ve ever turn you in for stalking. You’re the reason for being who I am yo! Your memory is very impressive.
    Jenin – almost, but still no baby. I’m hardly thinking about it at all.
    Lynn – I hear many don’t see the mucous plug as it’s kind of easy to miss thankfully. Now, you think my wife wouldn’t like to see me with silver face paint in the delivery room? I think you’re right.
    Liv – well I see you did crack and posted. You chose a great topic for a new entry. Boise, Idaho!
    Celeste – don’t be afraid of me, fear my sister and her sampling skills.
    CS – let’s hope bloody shows don’t really make you nostalgic. Trust me, I don’t bite.
    Jennifer – I’ve got a few post titles running through my head. Stay tuned as you should hear about it soon. Do you have any suggestions?
    Tall Chick – I’m nothing like Tin Man. Shall I freeze her placenta? I hear it sure is tasty.

  54. Tall Chick says:

    It can save her life if she hemorrhages during labour and you’re not at the hospital. (Taking a bite is supposed to stop hemorrhaging, but I always wondered if I’d be able to bring myself to do it.)
    I’ve heard of people cooking and eating them, but I’m not big on organ consumption, personally. Others plant them beneath Baby’s tree to feed the tree. (if they plant a tree when baby is born, obviously)
    Are you banking the cord blood? This wasn’t an option for homebirth, and it wasn’t done back when Gogo or any of the others were born AFAIK. I don’t know if it costs $ or what the deal is.
    This has gotten way too serious. Placenta Pie anyone? Omelette?

  55. Airam says:

    Ahhh!! It’s robot Egan! That pic always made me laugh!

  56. Pants says:

    This picture is 100% awesome. A+++!

  57. Cake Lady says:

    Nice job on those color blends. I swear I think a Karen Kane top and blouse in those same colors the other day.

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