When Does Wife Get Cape?

Week2annaIt’s been a while since I was last here due circumstances a bit out of my control. I’m learning very quickly there are many differences in my life now versus say two weeks ago. In the interest of brevity, I’m going to list those differences now because it truly is how I roll.

  • Before: everyone in the world was pregnant. NOW: noboby is pregnant.
  • Before: I took 6 showers a week. NOW: I change 8 diapers a day and shower 4 times a week tops.
  • Before: I’d get hostile with bad drivers. NOW: I’m the “grandpa” behind the wheel.
  • Before: breast massage was sensual. NOW: Breast massage keeps baby eating.
  • Before: I had a decent amount of free time. NOW: my mind never ever shuts off.
  • Before: the in-laws kind of got on my nerve. NOW: I’ve got heaps of respect for them especially since they love to organize and paint.
  • Before: thought breastfeeding was the right thing to do. NOW: I think breastfeeding is great, but it’s also an enormous burden for mom recovering from a c-section. Enormous!
  • Before: pro breastfeeding. NOW: “where the fuck is the Similac?
  • Before: dreamed of butterflies and unicorns. NOW: dream of nipples and crying babies.
  • Before: could blog about non-baby happenings. NOW: are there non-baby happenings?
  • Before: patient person in public. NOW: always in a hurry to get home.
  • Before: commented on many blogs. NOW: lucky if I comment on five blogs in one day.
  • Before: I laughed a lot. NOW: laughter not so easy to find, stress is the culprit.

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  • About lessinges

    Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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    61 Responses to When Does Wife Get Cape?

    1. QofS says:

      K. DEEEP breathe.
      One more. Deeeep Breathe.
      Such is life with a newborn. ALL of this is NORMAL. I swear to you. Life spinning out of control. Treading water…HELP! Yes. Life with newborn. Its ok. Repeat after me…its ooookkkkkaaaay.
      Yes, showers are few and far between and breastfeeding is the ultimate burden on mom. SUCH IS LIFE and SUCH IS MOTHERHOOD and SUCH IS PARENTHOOD.
      The key to the next…about 6 weeks is survival. You guys DO what you HAVE to do so everyone is more sane. Baby in bed so wifey doesn’t have to get up? So be it. Resort to bottle? So be it. Everyone stays in bed and does not shower..and only bathes in soaked breastmilk pjs? SO BE IT.
      Welcome to the club. Now you know why we’re all f’ing nuts.
      However. Deep breathe. Normal. All normal. Now exhale.

    2. Airam says:

      That’s what she said.
      Seriously not being a parent I feel I can’t offer any sound advice but from what I could tell through my brother’s experiences, all of that is normal. It doesn’t last long though. Again, don’t know what I’m talking about and dont’ exactly know what “long” means either because every baby is different. You’re lucky you’ve got help (aka the in-laws).
      Anyways, I think you’re doing great!

    3. Amanda says:

      OMG – that picture of Anna in the crib? She’s so teeeny!!! Granted, that crib was huge and all, but wow. And you put the picture in where she has your expression from your photo up there!! I love it. So gorgeous.
      I can’t really comment about your actual post…like Airam since I’m not a parent I don’t think I’m qualified to offer advice (not that you were looking for any, but you know what I mean). Being auntie, I don’t have to experience this stuff. I get them while they are all cute and had naps and then give ’em back when it’s time for the serious stuff. But I will say this…I like QofS’s comment. She seems to know what she’s talking about and I’m sure some other mothers will add in other nuggets.
      You both are great and I once things settle down from the newness, I’m sure you’ll find laughter again. And come on…it’s not funny when she scrunches her face up when she poops? No? Not cool? Hmmm…I guess for someone who never has diaper duty it’s funny. Anyway, you & the fam are in my thoughts.

    4. Maggie says:

      Welcome to the daddy-hood. You’re doing great. The fact that you are willing to see other options when things aren’t going as perfectly, well read, well researched planned means you’ve got good parenthood game. In my book anyways. Breastfeeding is great, but mom and baby end up suffering too much, its ok to think of your options. I loved that you said, “are there non-baby happenings?”
      There will be, but you’ll have to hang in there for a couple of years. I’m just about to pull out of those years and while they were beautiful and wondrous, I look forward to the next stage as much. Take lots of pics and enjoy. And, since I’m late to the party, congratulations to both of you!

    5. Maggie says:

      OOPS – I meant to say IF mom and baby suffer too much. Not to unequivocally announce that they will. Silly me.

    6. Chris says:

      It’s all so new and I know the stress and the seemingly never ending focus regargless of where you are. In time, things will fall into a routine and normalcy will be redefined.
      In the meantime, breath, when time permits of couorse and know that we are here for ya pal.

    7. Janice says:

      Welcome to parenthood. Not as easy as it looked from a distance. With my newborns(first two vaginal deliveries)I was lucky to shower 2 times a week. You’re doing great.

    8. liv says:

      Hey, we internetz love you! Yes, similac is good. I, as you know, was a hard core lactating mom, but you gotta do what you gotta do—and I’ve done it. If you need photographic evidence that my kids are alright, I’ll oblige! 🙂

    9. justrun says:

      Breathe, breathe, breathe, buddy. You’re doing everything right, it’s just a matter of time. It’s a new normal and you guys are doing great, I’m sure!

    10. GuTTer MuNKi says:

      IronMonkey-
      Don’t forget how you really roll. Stay in control. Steady pace. The finish line is a long way from here. Heel toe. Heel toe. Pace, pace, pace. In out. In out. Oh wait. In out is what got you into this situation. Discard that, temporarily. Anyway, treat it like the Ironman you bitch slapped in Cañada. In a month, you’ll be so in the groove that all this will be a breeze, with only occasional, brief moments of sheer terror. Oh, and remember to breathe. Breathing matters.

    11. Tim says:

      everything gets better. In like a year or so.

    12. Delton says:

      I seem to remember emerging from the fog of new babydom at 6 weeks, only to get lost again. Then reemerging at 6 months, and again at 1 year. Just hold on tight, enjoy the ride, and never pass up the chance for you and the Mrs to rest.

    13. farmgirl19 says:

      Parenthood changes your perspective on everything. It’s also funny how you can be the best parent before you have kids and then when you become a parent reality hits. Don’t worry, it will get better and you will do fine. And nothing beats that baby smell!

    14. brookem says:

      efo, i think you’re doing a spectacular job. you truly rock and i admire you heaps and heaps. thanks for sharing your thoughts on new daddy-hood with us blogbuds.
      and freakin ps- i really liked gutter munki’s comment. you ironman dad you.

    15. Kerry says:

      and it never changes…. the older they get, you get more and new worries and different reasons to skip things for yourself. Welcome to Parenthood!!!

    16. Commenting on five blogs a day is STILL really good. I’m lucky if I get to READ five blogs a day and I have no little one to blame. Yet. 😉 Okay so it’s going to be a long, long time ’till I do but whatever.
      Happy daddy-ing!

    17. *pixie* says:

      Because I so get the need for brevity, I’m going to comment on your various points list style:
      Before: I took 6 showers a week. NOW: I change 8 diapers a day and shower 4 times a week tops. Try putting Anna in a chair in the bathroom with you.
      Before: I’d get hostile with bad drivers. NOW: I’m the “grandpa” behind the wheel. Yep. This is right.
      Before: I had a decent amount of free time. NOW: my mind never ever shuts off. This too.
      # Before: thought breastfeeding was the right thing to do. NOW: I think breastfeeding is great, but it’s also an enormous burden for mom recovering from a c-section. Enormous! A boppy really helped me. Moving is so painful with a c-section those first few weeks. I tried to have all my stuff nearby. I also fed Gideon in our bed quite a bit.
      # Before: pro breastfeeding. NOW: “where the fuck is the Similac?” Don’t feel like you can’t supplement with formula now and then. Breastfeeding is difficutl but gets much easier. I promise Mrs. Les Singes!
      Before: could blog about non-baby happenings. NOW: are there non-baby happenings? No.
      Before: commented on many blogs. NOW: lucky if I comment on five blogs in one day. That’s 5 more than me.
      Before: I laughed a lot. NOW: laughter not so easy to find, stress is the culprit. This makes me sad, but again, it’s understandable. Becoming a parent is an overwhelming experience. One day at a time Egan. One day at a time. Pretty soon you won’t stop laughing and smiling.

    18. brandy says:

      Oh meconium! Everyone here is offering such good advice! I will say this- I hope that the day soon comes that you are able to think of unicorns and rainbows AND breasts. Because although breasts don’t do it for me, I’m thinking that if I was a guy, they might. So there you go friend. A trifecta of good stuff. I wish Hallmark made that into a card. I bet you are doing an amazing job with Miss Anna, and I know that things will get easier. Because whatever I think is the truth.

    19. brandy says:

      And, I’m not sure why my entire comment is in bold.

    20. logo™ says:

      /b>
      This is normal.
      It gets better.

    21. qt says:

      Let me offer a belated congrats, I am so glad Anna & the Mrs are healthy and ok.
      I am not a parent, but have heard from many circles that breastfeeding gets better the more you do it. It can be a pain in the ass for some people at first. But by all means, do whatever you need to do to get by TODAY – worry about tomorrow when it arrives.

    22. You’re doing fabulous! This is all perfectly normal! Afer I brought V home from the hospital, I remember curling up in a ball crying my eyes out wondering what the hell I had just done to ruin my life. Boy, was I wrong!!
      And don’t worry, the stress with subside – and the fun will start pouring in. Once you get the hang of it you’ll wonder why you ever stressed so much … I promise.

    23. Lynda says:

      Before: everyone in the world was pregnant. NOW: noboby is pregnant.
      Maybe they have all given birth and are in the same position you are in. 😉
      Good luck. I think you should especially listen to Pixie!

    24. Therese says:

      E-Fo, I’m really excited for you and the Mrs!
      Eventually, you’ll find a rhythm. It’s the way of life. And your readers will keep. 🙂

    25. col says:

      *sends laughs Egan’s way*

    26. Michelle says:

      This post just goes to show what a great dad you already are! Sorry I haven’t dropped by in a while – I have much catching up to do! But here’s a belated CONGRATULATIONS 🙂

    27. sprizee says:

      Egan, Laugh damn it. I won’t stand for this stress monkey behavior. What would Pants do?

    28. sprizee says:

      Oops.
      *comment edited by Robot Egan

    29. sandra says:

      I remember this time in my brother’s life. It goes away — trust me! You’ll be golden in a month.

    30. do what works for you and there will be relief in sight. It sounds nuts, but if YOU eventually can sleep for a full 4-5 hours at a time, you will feel newly born (no pun intended). She’s gorgeous, enjoy every moment and it is okay to freak out every now and then as well as let some things go by the wayside.

    31. sizzle says:

      welcome to papahood. just keep your head above the proverbial water, nothing else matters but what’s going on at home anyhow. 🙂

    32. meno says:

      Period of adjustment and all that. Things should settle down in about 18 years.

    33. mez says:

      Out of all the mums I know there are only about 3 or 4 who have had no problems at all with breastfeeding. My friend used to scream and cry while her baby was nursing – it just hurt THAT much. I once got into an argument with this guy (no kids) about breastfeeding. He said that it’s wrong not to breastfeed and that he would insist on it for his future wife. I was like..yeah you obviously have no idea about how painful and horrible it can be for some women – especially at first. I think there’s this idea that when women don’t breastfeed it’s for some superficial or selfish reason like they don’t want their boobs to sag or something when in reality it’s a hard decision to make and usually coupled with medical issues.

    34. tori says:

      My first baby was easy to breastfeed. I wondered what everyone was talking about when they said it was hard. My one twin was extremely difficult and after 8 weeks of trying I gave up and switched to bottles. It was the best decision I ever made for myself, my 2 year old and the twins. I am still pro-breastfeeding, and did so exclusively with my 4th baby, but if it isn’t working, supplement. It will be ok!
      Someone told me when I was all stressed out about “breaking” my baby or doing the wrong thing that it is very difficult to actually do anything wrong with a baby as long as you just love it. You have the love, and the skill/ease at taking care of her will come. I promise! I went on to have 4 kids! If it stayed as hard as it was the first few weeks, no one would ever have more than one! Trust me on this. It will get easier and you will completely forget how difficult it all was until you either do it all again, or meet someone who tells you how they are feeling. If there is anything I can do from here to help you guys, please let me know!
      The Queen up above me is absolutely correct! Do whatever it takes right now. Stay in bed, don’t shower, whatever. It will go back to a new normal very soon and you will wonder what you ever did in your free time before Anna arrived.

    35. Amanda says:

      GuTTer MuNKi and Sprizee make me giggle. You should listen to them. If anything, at least Sprizee. She sounds like she means bidness.

    36. Tall Chick says:

      Wow, so many great comments, I have nothing much to add. Pixie is right about the chair in the shower. You know – the bouncy seat? They like the running water noise, and even if they don’t, you can be in and out fast, and keep popping your head around the curtain or door and talking etc. It makes you feel more human to get that shower. It did me, anyway.
      Yeah, breastfeeding fucking HURTS at first. But it gets way better.
      Don’t forget to laugh, Monkey Boy. Even if you have to just laugh at yourself for now. Pretty soon you’ll remember how to laugh at everything else. 🙂 And if you’re too tired to laugh, then you’re not sleeping when the baby sleeps. Shame on you. ^_^
      Like my mama always said, “This too shall pass.” 🙂

    37. MonkeyDragon says:

      shh, it’s ok, just sleep
      {insert favorite lullaby}
      “This too shall pass.” 🙂
      “like bad gas . . .”
      oops, sorry teenagers here, different phase

    38. scarlet hip says:

      Oh my God you’re a grown up.

    39. Kelly says:

      Before: not so much stress. Now: a whole heaping lot of it.
      Newborns are a world of trouble. It’s only their cuteness that ultimately gets them into other stages still alive.
      I have so much sympathy for you guys. I remember trying to position myself in bed to nurse, the incision still raw and burning. Breastfeeding is challenging in and of itself, nevermind recovering from major abdominal surgery on top of trying to get a successful nursing relationship going.
      Is breastfeeding going generally okay, but it’s the c-section recovery that’s the bitch? Or is your wife having breastfeeding difficulties as well? Have you tried pumping and offering a bottle? If your wife has severe nipple pain, I have some assvice that quite literally saved my nursing relationship with number 2. Drop me an email if interested.
      And hang in there. If I could skip months 0-3, I’d have a third child. Those early months, yikes!

    40. furiousball says:

      yep, welcome to parenthood my brother. 😉

    41. patches says:

      What do you mean you weren’t dreaming about nipples before the birth? Everyone dreams about nipples. All nipples, all the time.
      Seriously, dude this is one of the BIGGEST changes that can occur in a person’s life. It takes a while to find your groove in the parenting gig. I’m afraid I’m not much help with the parenting gig, but fill free to email me if you want to know how to blow the tire off a pressure washer or sumthin’.

    42. L says:

      It’s nice to see this dose of realism, particularly about breastfeeding. I get so sick of hearing people and government health agencies preach about breastfeeding. Everyone knows it’s better for baby. But no one is willing to implement the kind of cultural change in the U.S. that would make it feasible and socially acceptable for women to breastfeed in public or able to pump their breast milk at work. **end pontificating**
      The laughs will come soon enough, if they haven’t already. You both need some sleep.

    43. *pixie* says:

      Don’t be afraid to eat dinner at 8:00 and go to bed at 9:00. With the baby.
      While the assvice, “sleep when the baby sleeps” is ideal, it’s not realistic. Do what you can.
      Repeat after me: It will fly by and things will get easier.

    44. It does get easier – there will be laughter, and lots of it. Your computer time will change, but you will find time when you need it… and you will smile, and ream, and worry, and laugh, and feel so much love through it all!
      Welcome to the club.
      And breast feeding – well, having been there and done that, once you are used to it – it truly isn’t a big deal.
      Just wait until you have to “find a potty” as quickly as possible as there is a 30 second gap between “I have to go” and when she actually does!
      Life is an adventure!

    45. jungle jane says:

      Egan! Egan! Egan!
      My very belated congratulations to you, Mrs LS and Baby LS!! i am sorry i have not drunk a beer in your honour before but i have been away and then dealing with stuff.
      Your daughter is truly beautiful and as a Leo i hope she truly shows you who is boss.
      Can she do handstands yet??

    46. Cake Lady says:

      If you are dreaming of nipples and crying babies then you are 1 up on most new parents. Most don’t get to sleep at all.

    47. sprizee says:

      It’s only their cuteness that ultimately gets them into other stages still alive.
      Egan and Kelly are simultaneous cracking me up and scaring the bejesus out of me. That is the appropriate way to spell bejesus right? I wouldn’t want to offend anyone.

    48. What you really need is sleep, but since a normal night is a ways off yet, cuddle up with the -now hotter that ever (because she bore your child)- baby mama and beautiful anna. snuggle up breath them in, sigh.

    49. Cheryl says:

      Hey don’t stress. I’m sure you’re doing awesome, cause how could you not?

    50. Tall Chick says:

      You still alive, Egan?

    51. liv says:

      sending good thoughts your way, tired Daddy.

    52. Eunice says:

      Cherish this post. A couple more weeks and you really will forget what it was like “before.”

    53. Hannelie says:

      But it’s all great fun and full of memories. I love the photo, you are a real daddy now and you look so hands on!
      Breastfeeding does get easier and easier, please don’t give up to soon unless under Dr’s advice, wich would not be likely. I remember those C-section days … ouch!
      I love little Anna’s look on the pic, she looks so content.
      Take care guys.

    54. naynayfazz says:

      Egan- I do miss you around my neck of the woods but I TOTALLY understand you are so busy. From this blog, I sure as hell know why. I am sure everyone understand why you aren’t as active anymore.
      The baby is so pretty by the way. You did good E, you did good. 🙂

    55. Amanda says:

      Hey. It’s Thursday. Thought I’d let you know in case you’ve also lost track of the day of the week. I’ve heard that can happen to new parents.
      And OMG, Eunice’s comment scared the hell out of me. Or like Sprizee said, it scared the bejesus out of me (I think that’s the right spelling…maybe it’s bejeezus, though….I don’t know…both are underlined in red in Firefox, but the dictionary on my computer says it’s “bejesus”). Don’t forget what it was like before. You can’t dwell on it (because it’s kind of too late and all), but you can’t forget about it either, yo! Because some of your “before”‘s are still doable once you get adjusted to your new life. And…wait…you only took showers 6 times a week? What, did you take Sunday’s off or something? Holy hell, now I’m all distracted. I take 2 showers a day, yo!

    56. tori says:

      Amanda is very funny. I was wondering the same thing about the showers when I read the post the first time. I meant to comment on that in my first comment, but forgot.
      Egan-don’t forget, things calm down a bit and you can resume most of your pre-baby stuff in a scaled down way. I have 4 kids and do triathlons! Hope is not lost for free time!

    57. Tricia says:

      I remember crying all the time because I felt so tired, so sore, so angry that my husband got to go to work. I was so happy and so sad at the same time.
      Picture it – 2002 – 3 AM – A new mom was watching CNN while her 6 week old baby slept in a bouncey seat – (anything to get Max to sleep!) – and the mom is crying – bawling in the family room while her husband walks downstairs to find out what was the matter.
      As he walks into the family room, he sees hears his wife say, “I’ll pay you $100 if you go to sleep. $100. There could be more if you stop pooping so much!”

    58. Good for Me says:

      Hey Cervelo. She is so freaking beautiful. Amazing. You know, it is hard. Harder than anything you may have done before…maybe minus the triathalons…or maybe just challengin in a whole new wat. It’s foreign and exhausting and above all the most selfless act a human can walk through…giving birth to and raising a child.
      Remember to love first and foremost. And know that it’s okay if loving above all means that you or N-po get some time or space to recharge, or step away, or remove yourself from the baby who’s been crying through the night so that you can catch your breath.
      I’m so glad to hear that your in-laws are there and you both have help.
      Hugs to you all 🙂

    59. Good for Me says:

      and i should have previewed that comment first because I don’t know ‘wat’ I was thinking. I meant to say ‘way’. Yeah, that’s the ticket.

    60. celeste says:

      hang in there Egan. You’ll get into the swing of things soon enough 🙂

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