Society Beware

I do love to give warnings on behalf of my master. Here’s my most recent observation:

Beware of an aging man with half open eyes and nappy hair. He’s been seen walking into walls and looks a bit rough under the collar. There’s a good chance this man hasn’t chatted with anyone aside from his family in a few weeks.
How can I tell you ask. Strike up a conversation with the man and he’s not likely to stop talking. He will dominate conversations in person or over the phone. If you do phone said person, know that he will talk about 90% of the time because he’s missing chatting… for he’s a social creature. He does know he talks more than normal and will apologize for being so damn verbose. See it in your heart to accept his apology, grin, and then move on. Said man really doesn’t have bad intentions. Women at the Aveda and Jamba Juice stores…. he meant you no harm.

-Robot Egan

Exhibit a: Nappy

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
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57 Responses to Society Beware

  1. Lynn says:

    Poor poor Egan. Robot Egan, please tell Egan that sleep deprevation is difficult, and that those of us who have experienced it, understand.

  2. robot egan says:

    Lynn – I will make sure to pass this message on to Egan. He’s playing with his Wii.

  3. Bob says:

    Wow… I could have written this post. Stay strong and control your exposure to new people. Baby steps.

  4. mez says:

    exterminate.
    exterminate.
    exterminate.
    only kidding (it’s the only robot I can think of atm) – I’m sure the nappy hair is hot, no really!
    (ps: I got your little surprise the other day! Merci, thanks! :D)

  5. mez says:

    yes, that would be TWO thanks. lol.

  6. ChickyBabe says:

    Nappy hair in those curls is uncool- Ch Robot.

  7. ChickyBabe says:

    Nappy hair in those curls is uncool- Ch Robot.

  8. nessa says:

    Very funny. Maybe they just thought Regular Egan had too much coffee.

  9. patches says:

    Who hasn’t been starved for adult interaction at some point ? If you smile and look a little bashful, you can get away with so much more in life. Trust me.
    Robot Egan, do you vacuum like a roomba are are you more like those star wars guys?

  10. Tall Chick says:

    Ha! That’s like part of my answer to “Why do you practice Tae Kwon Do?” at testing. “. . . and it’s REALLY nice to be able to talk to adults!” ^_^
    I found a treasure at the library book sale yesterday that you’re going to have to see to believe. And even then you might not believe it. I took a picture this morning and I’m going to put it up now. Mollusc wanted to send it to you, but I think we’ll have to keep it for a while at least. I can see the kids making fantastic use of it. ^_^

  11. Tall Chick says:

    Quite possibly even better use than the original folks made of it. ^_^

  12. Airam says:

    Awww poor real Egan.
    Walking into walls can be funny so long as you don’t hit your funny bone. Or any other bone for that matter.
    I’m sure the women at Jamba juice thought your nappy hairs were endearing. Were you wearing a burp/spit-up stained shirt too? That always adds to the disheveled look.

  13. Airam says:

    Tall chick I’m intrigued by your mystery find.

  14. Tall Chick says:

    I just got it uploaded to photobucket. It’s going to be another photographic diarrhea post, and I’ll put the find last, because Egan’s eyes will be so full of tears of laughter that he won’t even see the other pics otherwise. ^_^

  15. Airam says:

    Now I’m even MORE intrigued!!

  16. Kerry says:

    So…. you’re adjusting well! lol

  17. Chris says:

    Hey Mr. Roboto, I hear that Styx is looking for you. Real Egan, at least you have good reason for aling into things – unlike my occasional clumsiness which has no excuse.
    Nappy hair eh? Maybe it;s time to reconsider growing out some dreds.

  18. Tall Chick says:

    Styx. MuNKi was playing some Styx in the car yesterday. My ears withered. It’s amazing how bad they sound now that we have such better technology available. 😛
    Egan, my piccys are up now, so if you ever wake up and then get a chance to NAK you can check out the slurry flurry of photos.

  19. egan says:

    Bob – apparently you are a parent too, look at when you commented. Have you shaved or brushed your teeth in a couple days?
    Mez – the woman looked at my hair and said something like “you hair could use this” and I replied back “don’t judge my hair on the lack of showering since I’m a new dad”. That’s how I roll. You got it already? I’m amazed and impressed it arrived with enough postage. Yeah!
    Mez – I like it when you comment twice. I feel extra loved. Oh, robots don’t speak in complete sentences.
    Ch Robot – nappy hair and curls might be cute, but the unshaven look… it kind of ruins the image. Thus the reason I felt the need to explain to everyone I’m a new dad.
    Ch Robot – I love it when you duplicate comment.
    Yeah, especially proves to me you’re a robot.
    Nessa – now that’s a thought. I guess those salespeople had nothing to compare to either. I’m just really gregarious.
    Patches – oh really? Tell me all about this. Ha, like I don’t know this routine, it’s my move. Allow me to speak for Robot Egan, he doesn’t have Roomba or Flo-Bee skills. He can blog though which is quite handy.
    Tall Chick – you’re all knowing. I really should take your advice seriously. I’m stoked to see this picture you mention. I keep checking your blog for the update. Send Mollusc my love.
    Tall Chick – are you building suspense?
    Airam – the woman at Jamba Juice hooked me up with a deal. Actually that’s not true since I had a two for one coupon. I gots to save money. Disheveled is such a great word. Nicely done.
    Airam – you and me both, she needs to spill it soon.
    Tall Chick – I’m bursting at the seams with anticipation so let’s see it dammit. Let me guess, a cyclist with a huge package?
    Airam – are you even more intrigued? It’s hard to tell if you’re excited or not.
    Kerry – I’m adjusting alright… things have settled down a bit.
    Chris – oh yes, “don’t no what we got for Mr. Roboto”. Yes, I do know those aren’t the correct lyrics, but that’s what I thought he sang.
    Tall Chick – oh shit, I got to visit your blog stat.

  20. sizzle says:

    hang in there robot egan

  21. egan says:

    Sizzle – Robot Egan is napping now while I resume my duties. I’m about to make a bagel run, which should be quite amusing based on how tired I am. Chatting with strangers rules.

  22. Bob says:

    Guilty. No shaving, but plenty of brushing. We’re 11 days in. My late nights are mostly because it’s the only time to get things done. And by things I mean surfing the web 🙂

  23. Michelle says:

    LOL, hang in there!! Drop by the coffee shop while you’re out getting bagels. Make it a triple espresso!

  24. justrun says:

    It’s gotta go somewhere, and from what I hear, robots are terrible to talk with. Better to turn to the Internet.

  25. Amanda says:

    I love it when Robot Egan comes out to play. And when he sticks up for his master’s conversational taboos. So sweet that your robot cares about your feelings and well being and doesn’t want people to judge you harshly.
    There you are and you want to talk everyone’s ears off and here I am and I don’t want to talk to anyone. Just the thought of my phone ringing and answering it and having to talk to someone makes me want to flip out. I’ve finally just emerged from my big, comfy chair where I’ve been reading for the past 7 hours. I should probably go out and make myself do something so I don’t get cabin fever…

  26. meno says:

    A robot with nappy hair? I need a picture.
    What are you doing all day that prevents you from talking to adults?
    ha ha ha ah hahahah ahahah hah hahh ha.
    Just kiddin’

  27. Cake-Lady says:

    I just had a visual of a nappy headed man chatting up the Women at the Aveda and Jamba Juice stores, it was a funny visual. Thanks!

  28. brookem says:

    mmm, nappy hair!!

  29. celeste says:

    How about I come babysit, and you come into my office and do my job? You’ll love it! I phone people and chat with them for 5 hours a day!

  30. Delton says:

    I’ve got some good news for you. The sleep deprivation? It totally passes in 3-5 years (unless you add another small one into the mix). Good luck!

  31. Tall Chick says:

    Egan, Egan, Egan!!
    It’s not just the BOOK, it’s THE SHOOTING SCRIPT!
    Dude! Can you believe it??
    Maybe I’m more easliy shocked than you are. 😛 I laughed my ass off and scared all the patrons around me when I found it. ^_^

  32. Tall Chick says:

    So, you wanna acting job?
    Wanna be Unkow Fwick?

  33. Hannelie says:

    You are enjoying every minute of it, I can tell! Just think of it as lovely memories for one day’s stories.

  34. churlita says:

    Oh, I remember those days, only I worked at a coffee shop at night. Those poor, poor customers. All they wanted was an espresso, and what they got was Chatty Kathy.

  35. Amanda says:

    Egan…have you found a new job yet? How ’bout one for me? Have you figured out how to get any of our business ventures up & running? Come on, man! You’ve had a month! What have you been doing? Sheesh!

  36. brookem says:

    that picture just might have to be the next good head of hair pick.
    nappy hair rocks!

  37. Amanda says:

    Take a shower.

  38. Amanda says:

    Brookem wont let me comment on her blog anymore. I’ve tried six times. I think she hates me.

  39. egan says:

    Yes, hatred is something Brookem knows a lot about. Kidding, she does love nappy hair though.

  40. Amanda says:

    Save me, Egan. Save me.

  41. tori says:

    These are the kind of pictures you will look back on fondly someday. Trust me on this. All the sleep deprivation/lack of human contact is a badge of honor once you are past it. Perhaps another blog award is in the works for this????
    If only I could convince my 3 year old that it is good to sleep at night, and not all day instead. He keeps telling me he is nocturnal, and perhaps it is time I just give up and believe him.

  42. brookem says:

    amanda, i guess you’ve caught on to the block i have on you, on my blog.
    riiiight, because if getting a simple, basic picture on there causes me to flip, imagine how i would ever be able to do some sort of block thing?
    “block thing” sounds sort of kinky, no?

  43. brookem says:

    remember the group nappy roots?

  44. furiousball says:

    Robot Egan, do not forget the 4th prime directive

  45. sandra says:

    Aww, Baby Singe. I have a feeling she’s secretly enjoying the torture. 😉

  46. L says:

    No wonder they call babies “little bundle of joy”. She’s so little and bundled and cute, even from the back, where all I can see is baby swaddling cloths.

  47. Airam says:

    Ha … I”m digging the picture. Anna fits perfectly on daddy’s shoulder.

  48. Tricia says:

    The picture is priceless.
    But, you’ll be back to work in a week – enjoy it. Trust me 🙂

  49. sprizee says:

    You went to the Aveda store and didn’t pick up any shampoo for me? But I’m out. How thoughtless of you.
    P.S. Why are you holding a doll wrapped in a blanket?

  50. qt says:

    I say start growing those naps out into some dreadlocks…

  51. scarlet hip says:

    I miss you too sweetie.

  52. lookit that little dumpling on your shoulder! WOW!

  53. celeste says:

    aww. You don’t even have to write anymore. Just post photos!
    Not that I don’t love your writing. But if you’re tired, etc. photos are always a good way to keep in touch without over exerting yourself 🙂

  54. robot egan says:

    EVERYONE – Egan wants to thank all of you for commenting on this very post. He is a tad bit preoccupied at the moment. He was not so specific why he was busy. I am not sure why he asks me to do this when he is plenty capable of concocting individual responses to each of you. Does not compute. I believe he is working in the lab or some nonsense. Thank you for your comments on behalf of Egan.
    -Robot Egan

  55. ChickyBabe says:

    Exhibit A is adorable!!!

  56. egan says:

    ChickyBabe – I’m glad you find it adorable. If you saw my wardrobe, you may take that back as I was looking a bit haggard.

  57. ChickyBabe says:

    I meant Anna! Her dad isn’t too shabby considering… 😉

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