Rage Against the Driver

We’ve all heard the expression, patience is a virtue. Last Friday I got to personally witness what happens when people stop being polite.

Just north of my work building is a busy Starbucks. I make daily visits there to keep myself fully caffeinated. However, that’s really not the important part of this story. What’s key to remember is there tends to be a line for the drive thru which overflows on the side street. There are are also some parking spaces at Starbucks and up against the building where I work. If you’ve been reading my blog for awhile, you might recall this is the same general area where some guy threatened to beat me up after almost running me over, yet that’s not terribly critical to this story either.

Friday I got my usual beverage (grande vanilla latte) after a work conference call, chatted with a friend I haven’t seen in a while inside Starbucks, and then made my way back across the side street to work. While crossing the crowded side street I overheard a heated discussion between two men. Apparently one driver stole a parking spot another driver was waiting for.  I honestly don’t know who was there first.  Since I’m nosy, I bent an ear their way to eavesdrop.

Jeep Liberty Man (JLM) = man who nabbed the parking spot
Honda Civic Man (HCM) = man who didn’t get the parking spot

Initially the two drivers exchanged verbal blows from the comfort of their respective cars.  Then HMC gets enraged and hops out of his Civic and comes chest to chest with JLM.  Mr. Civic decided it would be wise to bring his anti-theft device, a yellow Club™, with him though.  Not a prudent decision as the other dude freaked out.  I was standing about ten feet away and assumed I was about to witness someone getting laid out.  Suddenly Soccer Player Egan, a new nickname I gave myself, kicked in high gear and a stern phrase exited my mouth, "hey guys, it’s just a parking spot… walk away, walk away".  I repeated this several times to keep them aware someone was witnessing their childish antics.

Wisely Mr. Civic got back in his car and drove over to the drive thru line, abandoning his quarrel with the dude in the Jeep Liberty.  The Jeep Liberty guy made sure he tossed a couple final insults his way though saying something about how much money Mr. Civic makes.  It didn’t make a whole lot of sense, yet neither does fighting over a parking spot.  Before I went back inside my building, I had to make sure Mr. Jeep Liberty had settled down and kindly informed him he illegally parked (head-in in a back-in only spot).  Mr. Jeep Liberty confides in me and says, "that guy’s just lucky I didn’t get my knife out". Awesome, just what I needed to hear.  All this over a silly parking spot.  This tiny incident is a great reminder why we’re still at war in the Middle East.

Police Blotter: Jeep Liberty Man wrote down the license plate number of Mr. Civic and did call the police.  I offered to be a witness to what I saw.  The police arrived about 30 minutes later and then it was decided by Mr. Jeep Liberty he would not file a report.  He realized he wasn’t the best person in this incident and did nothing to diffuse his anger.  I nodded my head in agreement while JLM explained this to the young man in uniform.  Mr. Jeep Liberty shook my hand and thanked me for intervening.  Kumbaya!


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Dumbass Move, Opinionated, Science. Bookmark the permalink.

72 Responses to Rage Against the Driver

  1. Airam says:

    First … it’s been awhile.

  2. Airam says:

    And yes … people are fucked up. Priorities need to be set straight. While I’m not a happy camper when I get cut off or whatever, I’m also not going to let it ruin my day. Just not worth it.

  3. mez says:

    I had the most amazing thing happen to me the other day. I was pulling into car park (one of those ones in the middle of the road) and this guy was pulling in at the same time but from the other side of the road. We both ended up with our noses in the spot evenly filling the car space. I must have made a face that said ‘oh bugger’ (cause this particular area I was parking in is always impossible to find a good spot). I was about to concede the spot and then he did something so amazing I doubt I’ll ever see the likes of it again. He smiled at me, waved his hand and then backed out of the car spot and let me have it!!
    Sometimes humanity totally rocks my socks.

  4. The Scarlett says:

    That’s like stepping into the middle of two male dogs fighting over a female – in this case the sweet buzz of caffeine is the seductress.

  5. Jayne says:

    That’s why I advocate riding a broomstick wherever I go…

  6. ChickyBabe says:

    Crazy stuff. I would have just walked away, pronto.

  7. brookem says:

    ok COME ON– “head-in in a back-in only spot”
    that’s what she said. obviously.

  8. brookem says:

    moving on to your post and the meat of the matter (again, what she said)…. man, these guys seem like total doucheboxes (and i dont throw that word around lightly). i mean, a club?! a knife?! what the hell were they thinking? it baffles me how much people let this stupid stuff get to them. it’s only a parking spot for holy christ’s sake.

  9. brookem says:

    and now i need to go get cozzie’s manhood in order. meow.

  10. brookem says:

    oh, that sounds wrong to anyone reading this who might not understand that c-mo’s getting fixed today.
    i dont know, i felt the need to clarify.

  11. brookem says:

    im pulling a tall chick here with these comments! she went to town the other day and i loved it.

  12. Nijmil says:

    When I was living in Malaysia, people regularly ‘stole’ parking spots in the shopping centers but so far I never witnessed any fights. I’m always too busy trying to make sure nobody stole mine.

  13. tori says:

    I am cracking up at brookem’s first comment because that is what I was thinking!
    I can’t even understand why people get so upset about parking spots and such. I really just don’t understand at all. It makes me sad that people are so wound up over nothing. I can’t even explain how upset it makes me that people behave this way. Seriously? A knife? Over a parking spot? People need to get themselves together and think about what is actually important. But obviously you know this and have your priorities straight or you wouldn’t have posted it the way you did.

  14. Delton says:

    Kudos to you for standing up to the idiots! One minor addition would have been to give them each a time-out, as they were acting so childish. Anyway, thank goodness it didn’t get any more out of hand.

  15. armalicious says:

    Wow E-fo. Maybe you could become a law enforcement officer…new career and a sweet uniform (I know Brookem would like that…). You diffused that situation pretty well. Is this why you were so fiesty on Friday?
    You know what? My first thought was “I can’t believe he got involved…how scary! What was he thinking?” But then as I read on and you brought up that guy talking about his knife I realized that you most likely saved someone’s life. That’s pretty amazing. How many people would have just gone on with their business with blinders on because they didn’t want to get involved and then something far worse could have (probably would have) occured? Yeah…things still could have gone badly with you stepping in, but they didn’t. You made a difference, Egan! Sometimes it only takes one person.

  16. Justrun says:

    Nice job running interference, dude. I sometimes wish I could do things like that but it does tend to be a bit different if a woman tries to interfere. I don’t like it, but it’s true.
    I’m glad it didn’t go any further, people need to chill.

  17. Lynn says:

    Thank goodness you spoke up, or someone might have gotten hurt. I wonder if these two men are equally territorial of their ‘chair’ in their living room, and their urinal in the restroom…just a thought.

  18. Tall Chick says:

    I think you’re lucky they didn’t both turn on YOU! In my mind Starbucks Patron != Knife Wielder but maybe I need to tweak my outlook. At any rate, I’m really glad that you didn’t get clubbed or stabbed. It may have been best, though, to let Darwinism take its course. 😉
    Brookem slays me. ^_^

  19. Tall Chick says:

    “Patients are a virtue,” said the doctor.

  20. sizzle says:

    the things people spend energy on- geeez! and he’s packing a knife? what has this world come to when two asshats will waste precious coffee time over a parking space?
    makes me sad for humanity.

  21. Should you not have called the police when he confided he was carrying a weapon? That is scary…

  22. armalicious says:

    You’re my hero, monkey boy!

  23. It makes me want to yell “PEOPLE JUST FIND ANOTHER SPOT AND SHUT UP!”
    Yeah, the little things that get people riled up.

  24. armalicious says:

    See? Told you she would like it.

  25. armalicious says:

    Oh…you did an update and wrote about a man in uniform. Nevermind.

  26. armalicious says:

    I’m glad Brookem picked up on the uniform stuff so quickly. She doesn’t miss much, that girl.

  27. armalicious says:

    Why is this categorized under “science”? Just curious is all.

  28. armalicious says:

    Ok, I’m going to go to lunch and leave your comments alone.
    For now.

  29. Nessa says:

    You are right. How on earth are wars ever going to end?

  30. Maggie says:

    Are you telling me they have great parking spots for Starbucks in the Middle East? Had I only known. That makes everything completely justifiable, wouldn’t you say?

  31. Golden says:

    WE all know that this wasn’t really over the parking spots.. It was because they are angry and impatient and tired. They just need hugs. Everybody.. GROUP HUG!!!

  32. logo™ says:

    Everyone needs a voice of reason and since too many people apparently DON’T have an internal one it’s ncie that you were there to provide one.

  33. brandy says:

    Whoa. See… I only talk about getting my knife out when I’m REALLY angry, like when they put whipped cream on my hot chocolate and I’ve asked for none. That’s a bringing the knife out situation, not a parking spot.
    People are insane.

  34. Tall Chick says:

    I hope Efo isn’t lying unconscious in a Sbucks parking lot somewhere.
    What I want to know is, WHY is there no picture of the MiU? (man in uniform) Was he hot?
    R.A.D. my friend. Recognise trouble, Avoid the problem and Defend yourself only if necessary.
    Were you joking about the back-in only spots or do those really exist out there?

  35. Tall Chick says:

    Brookem, that is a perfectly legitimate use of a kinfe. ^_^

  36. Tall Chick says:

    Personally, I like to use Knife Hands.

  37. Tall Chick says:

    Not to be confused with Jazz Hands.

  38. Tall Chick says:

    Maybe the wiser course of action here would have been to simply create a distraction by bustin’ out some of your cool hip-hop/breakdance moves.

  39. Tall Chick says:

    Yeah, that’s the ticket.

  40. Tall Chick says:

    Yo ho yo ho a pirate’s life for me-oh!

  41. patches says:

    The Scarlett, I don’t know if I would be brave enough to compare a woman to a parking spot. Sounds a little jaded.
    C’mon Egan, the real moral is we should all walk to starbucks or at least carpool.

  42. Tall Chick says:

    My friend said her sister bitched out a guy over a parking spot when she was visiting her in CA. Must be something in the left coast air. . .

  43. Tall Chick says:

    And here was was gonna be all productive-like and work on “r” with Fishy.

  44. sandra says:

    This is why I avoid confrontations with people I’ve never met — I’d certainly rather be in the right and not get to say anything about it than to be knifed.

  45. Chris says:

    The last time I intervened in such a situation the weapon was turned on me, at which point I stopped intervening and pray that both idiots wipe each other out so there are 2 less idiots in the world.

  46. liv says:

    I love that you did this. It sounds like something I would do, my astrological twin.

  47. Chris Durano says:

    Funny…I wrote about road rage the other day too. I’m learning to just bite my tongue. Check this out.. http://www.katu.com/news/9876912.html

  48. egan says:

    Airam – that’s what she said.
    Airam – maybe you need to carry a weapon.
    Mez – see, humans are good sometimes. Did you get his name and number? I like that he smiled and that you reported that on my blog. Well done.
    Iris – every move of mine is well calculated. So yes, it was very wise on my part.
    The Scarlett – have you been watching Jerry Springer lately?
    Jayne – I can tell by your comment you’re clearly not a muggle. Welcome! And yes, welcome to my blog as well.
    ChickyBabe – normally I avoid fights, but as humans we can’t always turn a blind eye. (that’s not geared at you specifically, might lead to another post actually)
    Brookem – your mind is like Anna’s nappies.
    Brookem – please refrain from the use of logic on my blog. Thank you very much. I can’t believe you had C-Mo’s nards removed. Yikes.
    Brookem – you can never be Tall Chick, but it can’t hurt to try. Tall Chick is jealous of your triathlon accomplishments though.
    Nijmil – glad to see this sort of thing happens around the world. Not really glad, but I guess it doesn’t surprise me.
    Tori – the fact he confessed to me he had a knife is even dumber. Why tell me that shit? Egos are a deadly thing.
    Delton – maybe next time I will suggest a time out and see how well that goes over. Stay tuned.
    Armalicious – you raise a really really great point here about the walking away thing. There were many people in the general vicinity. Most were just casually watching. For whatever reason, I just can’t let two grown men let such a stupid thing become so heated. Sadly I think most people don’t want to get involved. Like I said to ChickyBabe above, I think this post might lead to another post about a related topic. Yes, you made me blush.
    Justrun – you’re totally right, a woman couldn’t do that. The two meatheads would have laughed and carried on. People definitely need to chill the fuck out.
    Lynn – I bet they are. I bet they fight over parking spots at the mall too. It was quite a sad display.
    Tall Chick – I know when to intervene and when to avoid confrontation. I figured it was worth a shot. Turning my back on this would have bothered me if I heard about it later on the news.
    Tall Chick – are you telling jokes again?
    Sizzle – I know, it really doesn’t make any sense. It’s not like coffee is hard to find in this town.
    Guilty Secret – ha, the police were contacted by the guy who had a knife. He didn’t take kindly to being threatened by the guy with his Club™. I updated the post with a Police Blotter for you.
    Armalicious – now you’re pushing it a tad bit too far.
    steppingoverthejunk – I know, so damn trivial. Men and their cars.
    Brookem – yep, I knew you’d like that mention in the police blotter update.
    Armalicious – right you are and damn observant too. Nothing gets by Brookem. She will even go food shopping and ask questions of the food store while on her cell phone. She’s mighty hip.
    Armalicious – it’s categorized as “science” because of the social nature of the interaction mixed in with my interference. Make sense?
    Armalicious – yeah, this comment box has seen enough action for the day.
    Nessa – you tell me.
    Maggie – you crack me up with this little twisting of the story. I like it very much.
    Golden – what are you some kind of bleeding heart liberal? Of course I’m kidding. Both guys probably got off to a rough start and unfortunately happened to meet in that parking lot.
    Logo™ – I did what I could to lend a hand. A parking spot isn’t worth the time.
    Brandy – you would knife someone over whip cream eh? I put you on notice. Mug shut added to my desktop and adjustments made on Facebook.
    Tall Chick – “back-in angle” parking spots really do exist. Shall I take a picture of the sign outside my building? I see you’re practicing your TKD jargon on me. How’s the black belt treating you today?
    Tall Chick – please don’t fraternize with other bloggers in my comments section. That’s taboo behavior and you know it.
    Tall Chick – jazz hands have been known to break up a few fights over the years. I think you set a record by commenting five times in a row without a single typo. Well done matey.
    Patches – now that’s a splendid idea, carpooling to a coffee house. It would keep many of us out of harm’s way.
    Tall Chick – yeah, you should really lump the entire West Coast together as one. We’re pretty much all the same. Now get back to work woman!
    Sandra – to be honest, that’s a very smart belief of yours. Avoid strangers. My natural assumption is to assume everyone has a weapon, trust me on that one.
    Chris – you’re kidding me right? I think many of us have had days where we snap. I don’t wish the two guys dead or anything. I hope they remember this silliness of their antics each time they visit a coffee shop or see someone with curly hair and glasses.

  49. egan says:

    Liv – I would feel awful if I turned a blind eye and something worse happened. I was careful to keep my distance while telling these guys to let it go. Astrological twin eh? You’re a Taurus too?
    Chris Durano – when you say you wrote about road rage the other day, where did you write about it man? You can’t hold out on me. The KATU link isn’t working. Was Tonya Harding involved in this story?

  50. egan says:

    Mr. Durano – I just read the KATU article. What a major dumb ass. Here’s my take, this guy would pull a gun on someone whether he’s in his car or not. Though it’s not wise to provoke anyone, this guy is a ticking time bomb. At least they got the asshole.

  51. Golden says:

    Yes.. I am a bleeding heart liberal. Wanna fight about it?

  52. Jayne says:

    Good morning Egan,we are indeed awake now LOL.

  53. TayRez says:

    I think it’s very important to mention that my Starbucks drink is also a vanilla latte.
    Although I sometimes add a shot of hazelnut.
    But still.
    Obviously, there is a sense of camaraderie here.

  54. meno says:

    “that guy’s just lucky I didn’t get my knife out”
    Oh no dude, then i would have had to get out my gun.
    This is what happens when testosterone is legal.

  55. naynayfazz says:

    You have to be a real moron to get that bent out of shape over a spot at Starbucks. I am glad no one was hurt and I love what you said to them. How true is that… a parking spot!!

  56. Anna'sUncle says:

    Are we at war because of the lack of parking at Starbucks in the Middle East? Should we invade Ethiopia to protect the coffee bean resources there?
    I think I finally understand Bush!

  57. L says:

    Yikes! What’s with the increase in flared tempers and pointless confrontations in Seattle? My friend lives in an apartment on 2nd & Pine. Twice in the last 6 months, someone has been shot outside of her building.

  58. Chris says:

    I’m not kidding about the weapon being turned on me or my not willing to intervene. the rest is something of an exaggeration but the utter silliness of such an argument, especially when someone is silly enough to get violent and pul a weapon out – its just too much.

  59. Tall Chick says:

    Did I really comment 5 times with no typos? Holy crap! I hope my computer doesn’t explode or anything!
    But you didn’t know that guy had a knife. It coulda been like Chris’s experience and really sucked. You are too nice for your own good. 😛
    Of course, when I went running after a purse-snatcher years and years ago, I didn’t stop to think either. Then again, he was about 5’2″ so I think I could have taken him. Unless he’d turned out to have a weapon. 😛

  60. Tall Chick says:

    I shall fraternize if I like. So there. Let’s all sit on the fuzzy pink couch together and drink margaritas! 🙂

  61. Pants says:

    Ugh. What a nightmare.

  62. Cheryl says:

    Oh the things people will fight over.

  63. egan says:

    Golden – relax, I love your kind.
    Jayne – I bet your work day is just about over as I type this in Seattle. I’m so wicked smart.
    TayRez – I’ve missed you. We have so much in common, including our drink selection. You’re getting closer to the West Coast.
    Meno – well stated. Boys and their toys.
    Naynayfazz – now watch yourself on the Starbucks remark there. The point of the story was the damn parking spot. No slamming Starbucks on this blog. Anna depends on the coffee giant, as does this whole family.
    Anna’s Uncle – parking is at a premium these days. I fly to work to avoid hassles such as this.
    L – 2nd & Pine you say? That area has never been safe as long as I have been an adult in this city. There are two parts of town I tell people to stay away from at night: Pike Place Market area and Pioneer Square. Too many baddies there.
    Chris – a weapon being turned on is not a good thing. I don’t wish that on anybody. I happened to make a calculated decision based on the situation and it panned out well. Of course you never know what a person could be carrying which is why I wouldn’t do that shit at night or without other witnesses in the area.
    Tall Chick – yep, you did exactly that…kudos. I didn’t know, you’re right. I also don’t know if the driver who waved me in on my way to work has one or not. It’s a crap shoot alright. As you stated in your purse thing, you make decisions and have to stick to them. Tall Chick, hugs?
    Pants – ugh is right. I need a new topic.
    Cheryl – yeah, I’m reminded of holiday shopping images the day after Thanksgiving.

  64. ChickyBabe says:

    Interesting turn of events after all.

  65. egan says:

    ChickyBabe – it really was interesting how it all went down. I’m way too nosy for my own good.

  66. naynayfazz says:

    I wasn’t knocking Starbucks. I like Starbucks. I just meant that people are fighting over a parking spot at a damn coffee place. I know what point you made and I was defending it.

  67. naynayfazz says:

    I was just at a Starbucks two days ago in New Hope, Pa. So there! 🙂

  68. Thanks for the update 🙂

  69. egan says:

    Naynayfazz – okay, we’re all good then. I know some have a disdain for Starbucks, but I’m here to say they’re not bad. I see you like them as well. My bad for any assumptions I made on my part based on the part of the country you live.
    Guilty Secret – I got to keep the masses happy. There’s a certain person who reads this blog who loves stories about men in uniforms.

  70. naynayfazz says:

    No prob dude. Yeah, people do hate Starbucks due to it being corporate and all. I like it though. They have some bitchin’ hot cider in the fall. And like I said, I was “medicated” there two days ago. 🙂 We have no Starbucks where I moved to. Oh well.

  71. generalboy says:

    There’s only one Jeep
    … yet so many jerks driving them

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