Grade School Workaround

Let the free writing exercise begin.  I did this yesterday in a different location and went on a bit longer than I had anticipated.  How I even typed five paragraphs before the blink of an eye caught me by surprise.  There have been many great things going on in my life as far as parenthood is concerned. Baby Anna is right about nine pounds now and gets more interactive by the day. I’ve got a separate blog dedicated entirely to baby stuff so I have a place where I can spill my emotions as a father.  I highly doubt you want to read about how I weap when I talk to her about her future.  That’s the kind of stuff for my other site.

[later inserted carriage return] Oh, in the true essence of a free write I will not be adding carriage returns until I’m finished with this entry.

[later inserted carriage return] Next! My right foot hurts like a mofo, but I won’t show any pictures of my foot as I have been known to do.  I think the injury happened a couple weeks ago during a soccer match.  When a foot is injured though, there’s not a whole lot that can be done.  You have to let it heal which means I will take Wednesday night’s game off.  You know those nursing stools nursing moms use? I want one for under my work desk so I can give my feet a proper home at work.  Ergonomics my ass.

[later inserted carriage return] I have exactly three weeks to come up with a costume for Halloween. Last year’s blogger costume didn’t really go over so well.  I guess that’s to be expected since it wasn’t all that straight forward why I had a bunch of webbing all over me while sporting lumberjack clothing.  You can lead a horse to water as they say.  If I only brought my real chainsaw to work, it would have made much more sense.  When it comes to Halloween, and life in general, it’s all about the props.  I haven’t a clue how to dress up, but Halloween is one of my favorite holidays for many reasons: candy, disguise, candy, orange beer, candy, and discomfort in a costume.

Damn, damn, damn… I broke form there in the last sentence.  Ugh, I was never all that good at doing these free write exercises as a kid.  I ended up writing about sports (real & fake) the entire time. Sometimes I would drop in a weather report.  Grade school was good for something I tell you.  It wasn’t just about recess and "going" with the girls.  It was about kicking ass in spelling bees and chilling during Read Ins.  Do they still have Read Ins?  A Read In was an entire day of school devoted to reading.  You’d push all the desks aside, unroll your sleeping bag, and read the book(s) of your choice.  Sure many of us kids might have fallen asleep, but it was a tremendous exercise because reading really is supposed to be fun isn’t it?

Alright folks, the free write test is over.  I was able to stay on point for about ten minutes. Don’t let what’s above this paragraph (or below it) define who I am as a person.  One blog entry can’t be used as a gauge can it?  Now I will go back through what’s above and make it a tad bit more reader friendly, inserting paragraphs and a nifty photo.


  • I can never find any screwdrivers in our house when I need them.  I always vow to put them back in the same spot, but they grow legs in between uses.
  • My cell phone chimes "soccer" every Wednesday at 6:00pm.  I can’t for the life of me find the source to turn that damn thing off.  I’ve checked Outlook, Yahoo, the phone, iCal, and the Atari 400… still no luck.
  • Oh my, there’s a tv ad running in the U.S. for a national cable company, Comcast, that drives me batty.  The Comcast Housemates series is crap.  The marketing fools who thought this was a wise concept for a tv ad ought to be castrated.  If you haven’t seen the ad, you’re a very lucky person.  Great, I just justified the existence of the ad with this bullet point.
  • Time doesn’t stop for anyone.  My mom is still scheduled to turn 70 in two days.
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    About lessinges

    Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
    This entry was posted in Blog Fodder, Current Affairs, Mrs. Lessinges Approved. Bookmark the permalink.

    62 Responses to Grade School Workaround

    1. mez says:

      your whole family can go as a fruit bowl and Anna can be the banana. BanANNA. hawhawhaw mm.. maybe not.

    2. ChickyBabe says:

      I’m all confused with the carriage returns… And I’m still scheduled to be a RoboChicky.

    3. Mone says:

      You think its hard to find screw drivers? Wait till you met the one legged monster that always takes only one of Anna’s socks 🙂

    4. nicole says:

      I have no idea what read ins are or free write but they both sound like a lot of fun. Anyway, good luck with the Halloween costume – I have no suggestions as halloween is my least favorite holiday as I hate being scared by teenage brats.

    5. Airam says:

      This post rocks. So many fun facts included in here. I thought your costume last year was brilliant and very creative. It sure beats the typical “bough” costume.
      I know only too well when things sprout legs. It’s even more infuriating when you JUST PUT IT DOWN 2 SECONDS AGO and can’t find it.
      Our parents turn 70 yo. Exciting times!

    6. Airam says:

      PS – It’s voting day today. I should make my voice be heard.

    7. Amanda says:

      I don’t know what free writing is but this is the 2nd time today that I’ve come across it. I must go find out. Your post was interesting.

    8. kirk says:

      Atari 400? Best. Computer. Ever.

    9. Chris says:

      I had the Atari 800. Thanks for sparing us the sore feet pictures.

    10. Think Jacob says:

      I had the straight Atari 7800 gaming machine. It played all 7800 and Atari 2600 games like Pitfall, QBert, Dr. J vs Larry Bird: One on One, etc. Good times.
      I was watching football on Sunday, and the Packers have a guy on their team named Atari Bigby. That’s the coolest name ever.
      I find that my screwdrivers disappear, too. Then, they show up in unlikely places, like my toolbox. 🙂

    11. justrun says:

      Web+logger. LOL! (I am sure everyone else LOLed last year, but oh well.)
      I cannot free write… I get stumped. Ha. Okay, done.

    12. armalicious says:

      2 more days! Your mom is going to love Outback!

    13. armalicious says:

      I’m with Chicky…WTF is a carriage return?

    14. armalicious says:

      Also, where’s the nifty photo?

    15. armalicious says:

      And…I read this post from the bottom up. I don’t know why…it felt like the right thing to do.

    16. brookem says:

      im sorry to hear about your right foot; that’s no fun. orange beer? what is this, st. patrick’s day in orange form? ive never heard of such a thing, and beer, i know. hmmph.
      and im with chicky, i have no clue with this carriage/insert/return business is. huh?

    17. armalicious says:

      I have more I can comment on, but I don’t want to. So I won’t.

    18. armalicious says:

      Thank Bono for Google. Carriage returns are really old school, Efo. This is 2007 and we use computers now. Carriage returns don’t really exist anymroe.
      And yeah…I looked up carriage return. You know how I love me my Google.

    19. armalicious says:

      Ok…ignore my previous comment. I read further in my research. It is a computer term, too. I suppose nerdy computer speak, though. I guess I just don’t roll that way.

    20. brandy says:

      Thanks to arm I’m not looking up carriage return. I love arm and her love for google. As for free writing, I love that you said you always ended up writing about sports. Whenever we did it in school, I would write about my teachers hair. Even though I only said nice things, I think it made him self conscious. As for Halloween, I think I’m going to dress up as a cigarette and wear a nuns habit and be ‘holy smoke’. That’s the best I got so far.

    21. brookem says:

      i hate how lately when i comment here, i cant see it for approximately 4 hours. what’s up with that?

    22. brookem says:

      i hate carriage returns.
      the question is, do you return your carriage at the food store? that’s really the meat of the matter here. and that’s not what she said.

    23. armalicious says:

      What would Havret do?

    24. armalicious says:

      You know what happened just now with my cell phone? Which is off? I made a gong sound and said “what’s happenin’ hot stuff”. Long Duck Dong from 16 candles, yo. But I didn’t know it did that when it was off. Really awkward while sitting in an office. I got a lot of weird looks. At least it wasnt’ my voice mail sound, which says, “mail mother-fucker!” That would have been more awkward, me thinks.

    25. armalicious says:

      It. not I. It made a gong sounds. Jeez. I suck at typing today. and I shall now officially stop harassing you today.

    26. Eunice says:

      The challenge of having a kid at this age — you have to decide what to dress THEM up as too. I can’t wait until Alissa wants to be a princess for the 5th year in a row.

    27. tori says:

      That was the best costume idea ever. I love it! I don’t think I knew you last year…did I? I think I must have, but somehow I don’t remember that.
      I never heard of a Read In before but that sounds like a perfect way to spend a day. I may suggest it to my kids school and then see if I could finagle a way to joing them. Is that a word? Finagle? It looks really wrong, but if you say it out loud you will hear what I meant when I typed what looks very misspelled. I know you won’t judge me for my spelling error, so I will leave it as is.

    28. tori says:

      Oh, on the topic of Halloween….my youngest son was 2 last year and decided he wanted to be Roy for Halloween. Do you know who that is? Nobody did because he made it up. I thought it was pretty clever, he used half of a pirate type costume and then added in some random stuff.

    29. egan says:

      Mez – a banana? think of all the insults associated with bananas. Maybe N-Po can go as a hammock.
      ChickyBabe – it appears I dated myself with that terminology. Yikes. Bring on the robot.
      Mone – I’ve been introduced to that monster, but so far I’ve been able to outsmart him/her.
      Nicole – weren’t we all teenage brats at some point? Halloween is one of few times in our lives we have a valid excuse to make jackasses out of ourselves.
      Airam – I thought it was a brilliant idea too, but apparently most of the world doesn’t know what bloggers are. Daddy Airam will be 70, so cool. Taking him to White Spot to mark this occassion?
      Airam – damn right. Did you vote?
      Amanda – “interesting” is a nice way of saying… “damm Egan, this post was all over the map” right? If not, I still like you.
      Kirk – yeah, I loved the keyboard to that sucker. Clearly you weren’t meant to type quickly on those puppies. At least spilled beverages couldn’t ruin the keyboard.
      Chris – I remember the Atari 800 well. I loved all things Atari when I was a little one. I have spent a few hours reading about Atari on Wikipedia. Yep, I’m a dork.
      Think Jacob – hey man, I haven’t heard of that guy on the Packers. That is a great name. Baseball has Coco Crisp and Milton Bradley, both good ones too. That Milton Bradley guy though is a Class A Jackass. We won an Atari 7200 and that thing seemed so cutting edge at the time. I’m sure the box is still inside my mom’s house. Remember the cassette drives?
      Justrun – I’m glad you see the humor in the costume. Maybe I wear it again this year both tether a keyboard around my neck?
      Aramlicious – yes, two more days and I can provide a comprehensive report on The Outback. A carriage return was the term for a new paragraph in the typewriter days.
      Armalicious – the nifty photo is included in the post. Did you skim read this entry too? From bottom up? No wonder you missed the photo link.
      Brookem – okay, maybe the beer wasn’t really orange in color. Does it count if the label is orange and it has some spices in it? You know those crazy seasonal varities? I’m stoked you admit how much you love beer.
      Armalicious – why stop now? I’m so excited you looked it up and now understand what I meant. I get the feeling you and Chicky may be about the same age. I’m glad to see you still say “Thank Bono”. Well done.
      Brookem – are you sure it’s like that? Don’t make me bust your chops about how you and technology don’t get along so well.
      Brookem – I return my carriage to the food store. I love your little caveat to this comment. Since I’m trying to phase out that expression, I won’t repeat it.
      Armalicious – Havret is living “off the grid” so to speak.
      Armalicious – you really have that ring tone on your cell phone? I like you’re too cool for words now. I want your life.
      Eunice – she can’t be a princess again can she? How about going as Lindsay Lohan?
      Tori – I don’t think you did know me back then. If you did, you would have sent me cookies to celebrate my wicked clever costume. Tori, Read Ins are a lot of fun. I think it was something I looked forward to for weeks ahead of time. Heck, you got me on the correct spelling of that word too.
      Tori – can you please tell me which Roy? Not Roy of Seigfried & Roy right? I did that a few years ago with my wife.

    30. brandy says:

      That’s fine Egan. I prefer that my comment doesn’t get a response. In fact, don’t respond to this one either. You are dead to me.

    31. egan says:

      Brandy – oh crap, my bad. I was inundated with comments by Armalicious and missed it. Let me fix this for you.
      BRANDY – I love you more than you’ll ever know. I can’t stand, to see you angry with me. I will send you an autographed KC poster to make up for my mistake. I don’t want you to be dead to me.
      Brandy – holy smoke, you slay me. I love the cigarette costume idea. If you were to free write today, what do you think you’d write about? My hair?
      Brandy – you are the wind beneath my wings!

    32. brookem says:

      i love that brandy used the phrase “you’re dead to me.”

    33. brookem says:

      makeovers on antm tonight!

    34. Airam says:

      Hey dude … I’m not taking him to White Spot (no idea what that is … not a chain most likely) but a place called Marini’s restaurant. And yes I voted right after I grabbed a bite to eat.
      But you know all of this already.

    35. Diane Mandy says:

      Why not let your loyal readers come up with and vote on a costume?

    36. Lynn says:

      About your Halloween costume from last year…that was scary. If I saw you walking down the street towards me, I would have been scared…very, very scared! Are you planning on taking Anna out trick or treating on Halloween, as in door to door? (It always cracks me up when parents come to my door with and infant, and try to sell me on the idea that the candy is for the baby…yeah, right, do I look like I was born yesterday?) If you all go, who will hand out candy at your house?

    37. Lynn says:

      That was supposed to be “an infant” not and infant…oops I must have been distracted by thinking of last years costume.

    38. brandy says:

      Can it be a large KC poster? I want something big enough that I can clearly see his sparkly eyes when I hang it above my bed.

    39. Kel says:

      screwdriver goes in the kitchen drawer – along with the “kitchen hammer” and spatulas
      commandered my DHs fancy ratcheting screwdriver 16 years ago – the rest of those tool thingys are all willy nilly in some big red box in the garage – but I am able to wreck havoc on the domestic abode anytime I feel the need 😉

    40. egan says:

      Brookem – I chuckled when I read Brandy’s comment too. The best part is she doesn’t seem to hold virtual grudges. My kind of chick.
      Brookem – yeah, I caught ANTM. I’m so glad they cut the annoying Yale girl. I bet she’s a fun one to date.
      Airam – you’re missing out on a good thing, White Spot is the shiznit. I bet Marini’s is pretty damn good though too. Red light blinking.
      Diane Mandy – you think my readers might want to vote on a costume for me? I watch the Today show and I saw where that couple was sent for their honeymoon. Hmmm… let me think about this. I like how you think.
      Lynn – you really found that costume scary? I thought it was a bit boring since I had to explain to everyone what the hell I was. So I can’t go trick or treating with a newborn? What if I want candy for being a good dad for the first 12 weeks of Anna’s life? You’re going to deny a dad and newborn? Have a heart, give candy.
      Lynn – infants love Gobstoppers.
      Brandy – better yet, it will be a 3D poster complete with scratch and sniff areas on the poster. Now, let your imagination run wild.
      Kel – by kitchen hammer you mean the meat tenderizer right? Nothing wrong with wrecking havoc on a house to make improvements. Love the ginko.

    41. Jayne says:

      Do what we do and stick the screwdrivers in the corner of sash windows to stop them rattling.
      No noise and you’ll always find a screwdriver…
      Yep,sad,isn’t it? LOL

    42. Airam says:

      One more day dude! The countdown is officially on!
      What’s the red light doing now? Is it moving or is it in one spot?

    43. Lynn says:

      Just so you know, I always give parents with newborns lots and lots of candy…they certainly deserve it! If you lived in So. Calif. and came to my house, I would give you (I mean Anna) lots and lots of Gobstoppers;~D I promise

    44. armalicious says:

      I heard this saying once…that people born on October 12 kick all kinds of ass. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but I kind of think it is.

    45. armalicious says:

      Hmmm…Lynn’s comment intrigues me. I wonder if other people do the same thing with people who trick-or-treat with newborns. Because if they do, I might have to borrow my niece and test it out in my neighborhood. She’ll just be stuck at Grandma’s all night unless Auntie Arm comes and gets her.

    46. mekoorb says:

      i thought you were going to post pictures? what is this?

    47. Tall Chick says:

      I hated when my screwdrivers used to do that. How are you supposed to screw anything? So not cool.

    48. egan says:

      Jayne – I like this idea very much. I’m going to buy five flathead screwdrivers tonight and five of those phillips kind. As soon as I walk in the house with my ten screwdrivers, the others will appear out of nowhere. Just you wait.
      Airam – as I type this, the red light is flashing near highway 7.
      One more day is right. I best get my thinking cap on. I think I talked my bro out of going to The Outback.
      Lynn – as long as you give out Gobstoppers™, I’m there. Oh, we had three visitors to our house last year, three. In our previous house we had about 30 visitors. Kind of sad, but I think the current neighborhood is in between ages.
      Armalicious – I think there’s a lot of truth to the October 12th thing. I’m not going to cloud your mind with why this is true. You’re a wicked good person.
      Mekoorb – I see you and Armalicious skimmed this post. There’s a link to last year’s Halloween costume in this post silly girl. Hey, I will be nice and supply it here.
      Tall Chick – some things are too lose to screw. Yikes.

    49. egan says:

      Armalicious – candy should be given to all visitors no matter age, race, costume, size, etc. There’s one day of the year where people can get heaps of free candy so nobody should discriminate.

    50. egan says:

      Tall Chick – what do you mean by “it”?
      Airam – what’s hot? I love your random comments.

    51. armalicious says:

      HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAMA LESSINGES!! I hope that she has a wonderful 70th birthday.

    52. armalicious says:

      Hey! You best not be trying to get your mom to change her mind about The Outback. I can see what you’re doing, Efo…I can see.

    53. armalicious says:

      Haha! And I found the link to the picture of which you said you would insert. I was thinking an actual thumbnail of a picture. Not a link. I normally don’t click links in posts.

    54. armalicious says:

      Unless it’s a MuNKi link. Then…well you know what MuNKi links do to a person. You have to click those.

    55. Tall Chick says:

      Is the monkey dead or alive?

    56. tori says:

      Happy Birthday to your mom (and also to armilicious!)

    57. brandy says:

      I have to say, I don’t give candy out fairly. If you are a teenager and you show up at my place without a costume but the world’s largest pillow case, I’m going to give you the smallest, grossiest piece of candy I can find. Because costumes are important. And if that makes me a halloween snob, I’m okay with it. If we need a day to give out candy to everyone regardless of costume, size etc… it should be august 22nd.

    58. brookem says:

      see, armalicousness didnt catch on to the photo thing either!

    59. Tall Chick says:

      Happy Birthday Monkey Mama!!!

    60. egan says:

      Armalicious – thank you kindly. Happy birthday right back at you. I hope I don’t see you commenting the rest of the day.
      Armalicious – ha, too late. I’ve talked my brother out of taking her to The Outback. I’m a sneaky son.
      Tina Loo – I can’t believe you don’t click on links. I seldom put them in my posts and I make it a rule to never ever click on MuNKi links. They terrify me.
      Tori – thank you for the well wishes. I will pass them along.
      Brandy – you’re all good in my book. There has to be some sort of effort involved. My older bro went out one year with an ET mask over his face and that’s it. Nothing says give me free candy like street clothes and an ET mask. I do like your free candy policy. Can I elect you to something?
      Brookem – we all know she skim reads so don’t listen to her.
      Tall Chick – well thank you very much.

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