The Little Boy that Could

Over the weekend I noticed something so incredible I have to share it with all of you.  This is one of those stories you’d have to witness to believe, but I will do my best to explain what happened in a quaint retail store on Saturday. 

There was this polite elderly woman trying to make her way through our crowded Ikea store.  She was by herself and had a couple small objects in her hand.   She must have forgotten to get a cart as she was juggling the two or three items in her left hand.  A young boy playing in the kid’s section of the store walked up to the woman and cheerfully said:

"Here, you can have our cart.  We haven’t found anything we need yet.  In 2008 I’m going to teach others about kindness and sharing.  That will be my gift to humanity.

I got a little choked up to hear a young boy say this.  The white-haired woman politely declined, but the little kid with a bowl haircut persisted.  The elderly woman caved and patted the child on his back with much gratitude.  The boy’s mother couldn’t have been more happy with her son’s generous offering.  I teared up a bit, hoping someday my daughter could be as gracious.

——————

In other Ikea news, we almost didn’t buy anything while there.  We had some ideas of stuff we wanted, but overlooked them to make our way through the crowded store as fast as possible.  By the time we got to the registers, my wife was only holding two pairs of slippers.  She turns to me and asks if it’s worth it to wait in line for these two unnecessary items.  We both shrugged and she ditched them on a display with some fake flowers.  (Pet Peeve Alert: I’m so not cool with the Shop & Ditch Before Getting to the Cashier stuff, but I’m not the boss of my wife)  Instead of buying the cheap slippers, we bought a fro-yo cone and a hot dog for less than two bones.  Aw, Ikea is great.

——————

The first story just might be a slight exaggeration.  Okay, the whole thing is completely made up.  I couldn’t think of anything to blog about so I made some shit up.  I took a bit of creative license and mixed it together with people’s sensibilities towards kids and the elderly.  Don’t hate me, I just thought it would be a fun thing to try.  Next post: why I’m not a fiction writer or a presidential candidate.

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Don't Quit Your Day Job, Humans are Good, Storytelling. Bookmark the permalink.

42 Responses to The Little Boy that Could

  1. kirk says:

    Doesn’t your Ikea have a self service checkout for stuff like slippers? C’mon!

  2. egan says:

    Kirk – maybe it does, but all I could smell was the damn cinnamon from the Ikea Bistro. They say cinnamon is an aphrodisiac and I certainly believe the claim. I wanted to have sex with Ingimar right then and there.

  3. Lynn says:

    I totally bought the story…so I will continue to pretend that it’s true and that there is hope for the world. Besides, I don’t think you made up the part about hoping one day that Anna will be so thoughtful and kind. IKEA rocks!

  4. Pink says:

    What? you MADE STUFF UP?
    cool.
    Could you PLEASE run for president? We’ve got some slim pickins’
    xx
    pinks

  5. qt says:

    I can’t believe you made some shit up!
    You really have to be in the mood for Ikea, and not just the cheap swedish meatballs in the restaurant. Perhaps you could devise a gauge of some kind – that way, you could skip the whole walk through the store and go right to the cafe.

  6. kirk says:

    After reading this, I decided I’m going to Ikea right now and get a lamp.

  7. egan says:

    Lynn – I’m sorry about the deception. I had good intentions in the fiction though, so it’s not all bad right?
    Pink – slim pickings is how politics works right? Actually I do like Mr. Obama quite a bit so I’m pleased he’s doing well.
    QT – they’ve remodeled the store here in Seattle so you can make some quick shortcuts and find your way to those Swedish meatballs even faster. It’s a wise decision because it’s usually where you will see packs of wild men roaming.
    Kirk – you love Ingimar too? Crap, I forgot to pick up a lamp shade while there. Curses!

  8. sizzle says:

    the whole “gift to humanity” part was suspect but what really tipped me off was that the boy had a bowl haircut.
    who has bowl haircuts nowadays? 😉
    i am incredibly jealous of your soft serve coneage. the last three times i have been to ikea, the machine has been “out of order.” i am starting to suspect that it’s a conspiracy to keep me from the deliciousness of the cone. how dare they!?

  9. egan says:

    Sizzle – the fro yo cone was so damn good. I was tempted to order three more of them and skip lunch at Panera. Shame on them for not working when you’re there. So wrong!
    The bowl cut thing made it that obvious? I was going for Dawson’s Creek-esque dialogue with the “humanity” bit. It was too far of a stretch I guess.

  10. justrun says:

    Bowl haircut? Dude, that was where you slipped.
    🙂

  11. Chris says:

    Dude, you had me at hello! I bought it hooker, liner, and sinker! I’ve got a shop & ditch story I’ll be sharing in the next podcast.

  12. mez says:

    rofl, that is EVIL! Therefore you would actually make a great presidential candidate.

  13. Airam says:

    Egan I think you’re the little boy that could … not write a believable story!
    Sorry. It had to be done. You know I still love you and your far-fetched stories though right?

  14. meno says:

    I didn’t believe it for a minute because the boy wasn’t on crutches and the old woman wasn’t lugging an oxygen tank behind her.

  15. Maggie says:

    if you’re going to make shit like that up, goddammit, put an ironic snarky punchline in it!

  16. brandy says:

    Deceptive Egan, you keep me on my toes. And if you run for president, I want a job on your election team yo!

  17. Cheryl says:

    Making up stories? You could be a politician then.

  18. kirk says:

    I just got back. Ikea is definitely better on weeknights. Except they were out of cinnamon rolls. But they did have the Kløükl lamp I wanted.

  19. Tall Chick says:

    You suck. I thought that was real.
    Not that sucking is bad. . .
    Here’s a really cool and informative PSA about Shop and Ditch.
    I was just telling MuNKi that I really need to go to IKEA in hopes of finding some rugs. I’m feeling a non-adventurous streak coming on in the whole crocheting a rug from fabric strips realm. But who knows? Maybe I’ll try it just so I can blog the atrocity. ^_^

  20. Tall Chick says:

    Oh yeah, and Mollusc was just saying today that it would be fun to name Webkinz after IKEA products: KRAMFORS, EKTORP, FRAJIL, FLARKE, PLUTT etc. ^_^

  21. Bemused says:

    I didn’t fall for it. The ‘gift to humanity’ line was a dead giveaway that it was fiction. But the part about you choking was convincing. I can imagine what went through your mind.

  22. BigBro says:

    This “transference tale”, I believe, little brother, is inspired to atone for your past behavior back when you had a bowlcut hair-do and disrepected grandma’s rules!

  23. JQ says:

    What a sweet, sweet story…whats that? You made it up? You mean you can’t buy hot dogs at Ikea.

  24. Think Jacob says:

    BTW, those Ikea slippers are crap anyway. I have a pair that my wife and I use when we need to go in the garage and don’t want to take the time to put shoes on.

  25. Flounder says:

    Ikea sucks.

  26. Gwen says:

    You have to shop Ikea during the week, which is probably impossible.
    And it was the enormous vocabulary thing that gave your story away for me. But maybe we could all try to be kinder anyway.

  27. Golden says:

    I knew you were bullshitting.. The ‘humanity’ comment gave it away… I totally missed that he had a bowl haircut tho.. but beings that you were at Ikea in the south end of the greater puget sound region I fell for it. Yes, that was a dis to the south end.. and I live there. I actually can almost see the Ikea sign from my patio.

  28. Golden says:

    ugh.. I meant I fell for the ‘fact’ that the kid would have a bowl haircut.. I did NOT fall for the story in it’s entirety..Oh hell. nevermind.. It’s early.

  29. egan says:

    Justrun – bowl cut eh? Well I see many boys with crappy bowl cuts still. I guess I learned a valuable lesson about fiction.
    Chris – you still podcast? Hell, blogging is almost obsolete. Maybe podcasting is the way of the future.
    Mez – you think I’m evil? Maybe I will run for president with your blessing. I could make trips to Australia too.
    Airam – that was a cheap shot. I’m going to right this wrong and fool you. Watch out!
    Meno – now that’s a way to stack the cards in a story. The oxygen tank would have been a perfect addition. Next time I won’t forget.
    Maggie – maybe I could add a stupid smiley face? The punchline was shitty. I give up.
    Brandy – you’re hired!
    Cheryl – rumor has it, you have to be deceptive to be a politician. This has been noted.
    Kirk – did you really go? Did you get some fro yo? I need to get my lamp shade on my next visit.
    Tall Chick – Ikea has rugs? What don’t they sell? Best test of a relationship ever, a trip to Ikea on a crowded weekend. If you’re alive at the end, you’ve got a keeper on your hands.
    Tall Chick – damn those kids of yours are creative. I have to learn more about those Webkinz.
    Bemused – the choking? You lost me on that one.
    BigBro – I never ever had a bowl cut. Curly hair and bowl cuts don’t get along so well.
    JQ – you can though, you can buy hotdogs, fro yo, cinnamon rolls, and a Komiker. It’s all good.
    Think Jacob – this is good to know. The slippers looked fragile in my mind.
    Flounder – wake up on the wrong side of the bed?
    Gwen – yes, the weeknights are the best time to be there. I can climb up on top of the bunk beds and scare people. Fun times at Ikea. The kid was just smart. Boys aren’t usually smart though, see this blog entry for details.
    Emmaenlighted – yes, a bowl haircut is created when a bowl is placed upside down on a child’s head. The bowl acts as a guide for the parent as they chop the bangs. It’s a perfect tool in a world gone crazy.
    Golden – you south enders are all the same, making fun of your own peeps and shit. My bro lived down near Ikea too. I’m not really sure why I felt the need to share this bit of information, but I did. Humanity is good, but bullshitting someone isn’t.

  30. egan says:

    Tall Chick – I love when you link to Eddie’s gig via Lego™. Whoever does those creations needs to be given a gold star or some shit. They are so funny.

  31. Tall Chick says:

    We’ve gone on Saturdays, but if you go after 4:30 or 5 it’s not crowded.
    You know they have rugs. But no merkins.

  32. egan says:

    Tall Chick – yes, I do know that about rugs. The merkins thing is disheartening, but I can manage. They have cool yellow bags and very clever displays. What’s not to like?

  33. brandy says:

    Can I just say I admire the way you always respond to comments? Feel free to come over to my site and respond to mine too, if you want. No pressure. But it would be a really nice thing to do. And something I would leak to the press once you threw your hat in the presidential ring. I’m just saying.

  34. egan says:

    Brandy – the leak would go something like this:
    “hey, that Egan guy who missed the cut for the New Hampshire debates is a solid candidate. He blogs about his feelings, his daughter, and rude people. He treats his readers well by responding to their comments. You know, he makes them feel loved. Vote for him! He can kick Chuck Norris’ ass.”
    How does that sound Brandy?

  35. Pants says:

    Dangit! I so wanted that little boy to be real. I read about a book that posed the question: Are acts of kindness contagious? (I think they might have even used the word epidemic.) Can’t remember the name of the book, will have to find it for you later…
    But wouldn’t it be great if kindness were contagious? Or at least general courtesies, like returning a shopping cart to a corral in a parking lot or waving thank you to someone who allows you to merge on the freeway? That’s the world I want to live in!

  36. SSC says:

    You crack me up. I was tearing up and even gave my son a lesson on humanity and the gift of giving. Okay I made that up too!!!
    I enjoyed reading your blog. I saw your comment on Airam’s blog and could not resist seeing what humor you had on yours.
    Happy Blogging!!!!!

  37. egan says:

    Pants – now you’re talking crazy. Contagious would be nice, or maybe even just with respect.
    Brandy – awesome. I love when you and I are on the same page. You’re hired for sure.
    SSC – hey, welcome to my blog. Thanks for the visit and the sarcastic comment. Your son can learn about gifts to humanity by watching episodes of The Bachelor. Everything I’ve learned in life can be attributed soley to that great ABC show.

  38. L says:

    Um….I think my hair looks like a bowl cut these days. I was trying to grow it out, but I just cracked and made an appointment to get it cut.

  39. tori says:

    I LOVE that you said that you are not the boss of your wife and let her do what she wanted. My husband does stuff that I would never do quite often (nothing horrible, of course) and it used to bug the crap out of me until I finally decided it is just not my job to police his actions.

  40. egan says:

    L – have you ever had your hair chopped at Hairmasters? Just had to ask. That’s where I go because I’m all about cheap haircuts with curly hair.
    Tori – policing our spouses actions is no fun. I let my wife make a fool out of herself. Actually it’s usually the other way around.

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