Zip Coding

Tuesday night I picked up some mexican food for dinner. I went to a place in the heart of my college campus so naturally many students were dining inside the establishment. I was transported into a time warp. In my own hometown, I suddenly felt very out of place since I was probably a good ten years older than the gaggle of guys chomping down burritos. Ten years? When did I become so old? Suddenly my wedding band seemed like a harbinger of my age, similar to a tree’s growth rings. In less than a month I will be 35 years old. A mid-life crisis isn’t in the works, but I will definitely be reflecting.
———–
Neighbourhood News

  • The elderly lady across the street from us has our four digit address painted on her curb. It was a dyslexia issue.
  • A cat was sadly run over yesterday by a motorist who didn’t stop.
  • Burglaries still continue to plague many households.
  • Our neighbors had a little boy on Sunday. For those keeping score at home, our side of the street (The Breeders) has produced seven kids in the last five years compared to zero kids on the other side of the street. *diagrams available upon request, not diaphrams.
  • One of our neighbors likes to dump his yard waste clippings in the blackberry bushes at the end of a dead end street. I want to rat on the asshole.
  • The neighbor directly across from us is doing a large scale landscaping project on his yard. This is newsworthy because his project is always noisy right when Baby Singe needs to nap. Oh yeah, this neighbor who does landscaping for a living decided he didn’t need to get a work permit.
  • I still don’t like the neighbor behind our house. She’s a snooty bitch if you ask me who advised us two days after moving in that she has a view of downtown and that we shouldn’t obstruct it with large trees. I so want to plant a redwood in my backyard.
  • I’m the only person foolish enough not to protect their wifi signal with a password. I can’t be bothered with that sort of thing.
  • Our mail carrier parks his mail van under a tree and hangs out for a couple hours each day. My buddy, who’s a mail carrier in another town, gathers the guy is lazy and doesn’t want to go back to the post office for fear they will give him more work to do.
  • No recent coyote sightings, but I did spy a raccoon in our backyard last week.
  • Haven’t seen a door-to-door salesperson in months.
  • Yours truly did work with police a couple weeks ago to track a suspicious person. The cops caught said suspicious person, the perp, and told them to get out of our neighborhood. He was knocking on people’s doors asking for bus money. A similar event happened like that a couple weeks ago, but the person had an accomplice and they’d burst into the person’s house and steal shit. Nice eh?
  • The daffodils are currently blooming with tulips just around the corner, patiently waiting to show off their colors.

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  • About lessinges

    Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
    This entry was posted in Raging Dork. Bookmark the permalink.

    28 Responses to Zip Coding

    1. mez says:

      wow, you have a lot going on in your neighbourhood!

    2. Cléa says:

      “Suddenly my wedding band seemed like a harbinger of my age, similar to a tree’s growth rings.” I didn’t you you were a poet :).

    3. Maggie says:

      When is the tree planting dedication?
      You Breeders have been busy! Keep up the good work. In fact, you might want to have play dates in your back yard with all those kids just to annoy that bitchy neighbor.

    4. Amanda says:

      What a busy neighborhood (especially on the Breeders side). I know I have neighbors because I hear all the noises they make with their cars and motorbikes. BUT, I hardly see anybody. I get the feeling they watch from inside their houses though because if I do meet them, they seem to know what I’ve been up to in the garden.
      You and I must have birthdays very close together. I’ll be 32 in less than a month too……trying NOT to reflect on that.

    5. Pants says:

      My, you have a lot going on in your neighborhood!
      The freaky guy I went out with who thought dead cats were funny, was a mail carrier. A VERY disgruntled mail carrier. He would also “hide” before returning to work for fear he’d have to actually work.

    6. Chris says:

      I love that you’ve named your side of the street. Gotta come up w/ a catchy mae for the non-breeders.
      Good job with the police – I wish more people would be proactive about community policing. I know it can be scary but there are models that work safely.
      “The passage of time become ever clearer with the passage of time.”

    7. brookem says:

      I enjoy your little update here Efo. I can’t get over the cat story though, oof. Meow. Well, not meowing anymore, eh?
      I remember you once made a diagram of your neighborhood… perhaps some of your new readers would like to reference that for this “neighborhood news” post you got goin here? I like that your side of the street are known as “The Breeders.”
      WiFi password? What? Way beyong me, though, I actually DO know what that means, but can’t be bothered with that either (good use of the “can’t be,” my friend!).

    8. sprizee says:

      Hi, I’m here for the free diaphragm.
      Secure your internet connection. If you ever check your checking account balance or ever buy anything online you’re putting yourself at unnecessary risk for identity and credit card theft. Setting up a password would only take one minute. Don’t make me lecture you, young man!

    9. churlita says:

      I live in a college town and people started telling me they couldn’t believe how old I was on my 24th birthday. So, imagine how ancient I feel here at 42.

    10. Sicilian Mama says:

      Now I want some chips and salsa. Damn these cravings! And damn that I am now considered a “breeder”.
      I was just going to say that I don’t bother with wifi security either…but now Sprizee’s comment has kind of scared me and I may have to figure out how to do it. I have no idea where to even start with that!
      I don’t like my neighbour behind my house, either. They are hella weird and waaay too friendly.

    11. egan says:

      Mez – well I guess that depends on who you ask. Maybe this is the difference between city living and the good old ‘burbs. I know you know about the ‘burbs.
      Cléa – moi, ce n’est pas vrai. Je suis blogger!
      Maggie – I like this playdate idea of yours. Maybe we can shoot bottle rockets at her house. The tree dedication happens May 4th.
      Amanda – wow, we must be very close. My b-day is May 4th. I like that your neighbours know what you’re doing. It’s like your own security staff.
      Pants – the weird guy you definitely earned his weird title. And dead cats are not hilarious?
      Chris – if we all worked with the police instead of mocking them, we make actually make strides. I know they’re not perfect, but they really are trying. Sure there are bad seeds, but there are bad seeds everywhere.
      Brookem – so how hip you are, wifi passwords and all. I know, I actually saw the dead cat the following day and it saddened me. It didn’t have a name tag so nobody could be notified. I didn’t notice the cat on the way to work today though.
      Sprizee – you’re creeping me out. You sound like our state attorney general. There’s actually an underground movement to remove passwords from wifi hotspots so it’s easier for people to connect. You’re cute when you lecture people.
      Churlita – I know, this aging thing is a trip. I bet it’s weird to think about it in terms of how old your kids are. College towns are fun.
      Sicilian Mama – I’m torn on wifi security, but choose to take the less secure road. I even put bank card statements on the front porch for people to steal. What constitutes way too friendly? I want to make sure I’m not one of them.

    12. sizzle says:

      Well shoot! I was totally looking for a diaPHRAM. Just my luck.

    13. egan says:

      Sizzle – it looks like we have a couple takers on the diaphragms thing. Maybe I should be giving those away instead of iPod socks.

    14. Tim says:

      people who protect their wifi signal are so frustrating.

    15. justrun says:

      “The Breeders”– heh.
      And yay for daffodils! I saw some the other day and it about brought a tear to my eye.
      Ohh, so much on which to comment. Um, okay, we had a creepy neighborhood peeping tom not too long ago. A couple times I made my neighbor meet me outside if I had to go out at night. Scary!

    16. qt says:

      Wow – the breeder’s side of the street is quite fertile!
      I would like a margarita and some chips and queso, plz.

    17. JLee says:

      yep, you’re starting to sound like an old person. ha
      “the Breeders”… good band 😉

    18. tori says:

      My husband’s job is internet security. Our computer at home often shits out (technical term, really, it is) and he forgets to fix it. I can get around the problem if I bypass our wireless connection and get onto our neighbors who has his unsecured. When I said something to my husband about that, he freaked out and told me it is a huge security risk. Whatever. Then fix our connection so I can use it is always my response. Nothing bad has happened to me, but I stopped doing it because he got all mad about it.

    19. tori says:

      About those poeple who dump their yard waste…I have strong feelings on that. We back up to a forest, and half the neighborhood takes their leaves, yard waste, whatever into the forest and dump it there. We do not. When it is windy, do you know where all their shit ends up? In my yard. Plus the fact that it is not right to do in the first place. I’m with you and if you feel like tattling, even though I am mostly against tattling and tell people to just mind their own business, I would be ok with that this time.

    20. tori says:

      One more thing. Our old next door neighbor once opened his garage in front of us and had BOXES full of undelivered mail that he “hadn’t gotten around to” yet. We don’t live near him anymore, but I would love to know what the end of that story is/will be.

    21. Sicilian Mama says:

      Question for you (you may also have to consult your wife, which is fine): Is it acceptable to use the excuse “the baby made me do it” after devouring 2 snickers bars in less that 15 minutes? Not the fun-size snickers either. I’m talking about the regular-sized 2.07 ounce size. Just curious. Let me know what you think. Merci.

    22. tori says:

      Sicilian Mama-I had a thing for the Big Kat bars when I was pregnant with number 4. I would buy them in bulk and eat a ton and then throw away all the wrappers so I never knew exactly how many I ate. I think it is perfectly acceptable if you want my opinion.

    23. Cake Lady says:

      Planting that Redwood sounds like something I would do. Good for you!

    24. egan says:

      Tim – ha, now I’m trying to figure out if you’re being a smart ass or not. Now, I’m rethinking the security level of all my internet transactions.
      Justrun – I forgot all about The Breeders as in the band. Your neighbor does sound very creepy. Daffodils make you sad? I like that.
      QT – will you be paying with cash, check, or charge?
      JLee – so it’s true, I am old? Yeah, bring it on. Good band yes, breeders we are.
      Tori – I will turn on my wifi password tonight just to be safe. I think many people “borrow” wifi signals all the time. It’s probably best to be safe and password protect it though.

    25. You should definitely put up that tree … you know, because trees are pretty.
      Look at you Mr. Detective. I sense a second career in the making. You can be the private eye of your neighbourhood.

    26. egan says:

      Tori – I spent much of tonight locking down my wifi connection so people can’t borrow my signal. I really don’t like doing this, but I guess it can’t hurt.
      Tori – I really don’t get the dumping thing. If you can’t afford to pay for yard wase collection, then maybe you should own a home. Or somebody could always start a compost bin instead.
      Tori – I’m picturing Russell Crowe from that one movie where he wins a cool pen as your next door neighbor.
      Cake Lady – I do like trees, the bigger the better they say.
      Essentially Me – sometimes my detective abilities are a bit limited in scope. Good thing I have connections in real life and the cyber world. I might start patrolling the streets at night.

    27. VIVA says:

      this makes me want to write an update on our colorful neighborhood. great read!
      and yes, that lady is asking for you to plant a big tree to obstruct her views!

    28. sari says:

      I like your neighborhood updates! Most of the people in our neighborhood are pretty old, so we don’t have a lot to report here.

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