Folks, I celebrated my birthday and now I’m back at work attending an “offsite”. For the uninitiated an offsite means I get to spend eight solid hours for three consecutive days in a conference room this week. There are some wonderful things one can discover about themself while trapped in a windowless box with 17 of your not-so close colleagues.
My first goal was to figure out the funky carpeting. If you’ve ever been to a theatre, you may have noticed how wacky the carpeting patterns can be. I think they’re hideous so people won’t notice all the stains from popcorn and spilled beverages. Before I started nodding my head Monday, I attempted to comprehend the carpet pattern in the Marriot. I crossed my eyes, I squinted, and rubbed my socked feet in the synthetic fibers. I was hopeful reindeer would appear if I crossed my eyes just right and whisk me away to the North Pole. (you know like those posters which were so popular in the early 90’s)
Alas, the reindeer scenario was a dream that didn’t come to fruition. There I was stuck in a hotel meeting room listening to the instructor complain about his three failed marriages. I was fortunate enough to get one more chance to learn more about myself. Personality test here we come. This time I took a DiSC Personal Profile System exam so we can decide why I’m so uncooperative in the workplace.
Here’s your opportunity to show how well you know the blogger known as Monkey Boy. Determine which Profile Pattern best suits Monkey Boy:
a) perfectionist – Goals include stability & predictable accomplishments; main fear = antagonism.
b) persuader – Judges others by ability to express themselves; enthusiastic and trusting of people.
c) inspirational – Influences by charm; fears include weak behavior and loss of social status.
d) promoter – Judges others by verbal skills; goals include approval & popularity.
e) counselor – Goals include friendship & happiness; Influences others with “open door” policy.
Think this over for a bit and drop your guess in the comments. I will have a good chuckle during my ten minute breaks reading your comments on my iPod touch. Get this, the instructor sets a timer for our breaks. I like it since it keeps on schedule, but that’s so not something I’d ever do. That could be a hint to my DiSC Profile Pattern.
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Finally, did you know Dyson, the vacuum guy with the wicked cool British accent, makes hand dryers? They had one at the hotel and was drawn to that sucker like a moth to the flame. Now if I can only get guys to wash their hands after touching their units.
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FINAL final thought: a wise blogger warned me about the love you have for your own child. Holy shit was that blogger ever right. It’s one of the craziest attractions I’ve ever known and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I say this because I wasn’t able to see my daughter during Monday’s meeting and damn did I ever miss her. I’m a sap.
The Continued Life of Monkey Boy 
First.
Hmm .. I’m going to say (c) or (e).
I love British accents. I salivate when I hear them. I know that has nothing to do with your hand dryer, but oh mah gawd do I love the accent.
And I totally get what you mean about missing your children. Yes, I don’t have any but I miss my nieces and nephews when I don’t see them. I’ve become the aunt who smothers them with smooches all over their face.
You’re not a sap, you’re an (e).
Men don’t wash their hands in the bathroom? Gawd, what century do you detestable bastards live in? (Ok I’m not including you in that because you just said you do wash your hands).
Either B or E are what I am thinking. Those are tough choices to stick you in since I have never met you in real life though!
I can’t imagine being away from my kids. I have been away for a few days, and obviously during my hospital stays I was away for a while, but I just hated it and missed them like crazy!
Once again my little brother disses ( or shall i say “DiSC’s”) the work i do…;-)
Yepper, I am certified to do DiSC assessments… you’re not a D or C and i am doubting the S….thus an I.
B or D.
Let me know when you start doodling. Am so bad in meetings where I”m locked in a room with a group of people. Any paper in my vicinity is immediately covered in little swirls and other kind of doodles. I used to get into trouble at school for my papers being “messy”. Pshaw…they weren’t messy…they were pretty.
I’m going with Persuader. Is if comfy there in your little box? ^_^
I loved your 3-D poster carpet comparison. Clearly the speaker is a motivational dude if he can keep your attention like that. Does anyone ever get anything out of these things? I say call in sick and spend the day outside with the Littlest Monkey.
I heard a rumour that it was No Homework Day and Teacher Day, so that’s what we’re doing.
PS I dare you to comment on my blog DURING the meeting. I will accord you massive bonus points.
I’m going with Persuader, too.
I will go with E
I’m going with B…
Happy Belated Birthday!! I hope it was a blast :))
Based on several stories on this blog, I’m going to go with Counselor.
I too, think “E.” And that last little bit about your daughter, awwww.
E E E E E for ..well… for E.
My son is now 13 and I’m away at a conference.. coincidentally at a Marriot as well.. I’m in Cali though.. anyway.. back to my point. I miss him like CRAZY. However, when I arrive I give him about 30 minutes to do something so.. typically ‘teenagerish’ that I’m wondering who spawned the child.
E
I’ve been in those offsites. The carpet pattern was often the most interesting part of the day.
Can you be more than 1 choice? I’d go for D.
It’s funny how you can’t wait to get away so you have a moment to yourself.. even if it’s work… but then you can’t wait to get back to them and you think about them constantly.
Babies are funny.
hm, I’d say you were a mix of elements of b, d and e. But probably mostly, e. I would have said mostly b but I don’t think you’re overly trusting of people – though I don’t think you’re distrustful either!
That hand dryer looks too fancy schmancy for my liking. I know I am the enemy of the environment by saying this but bring back the hand towels! Sorry Egan, I know you are cringing at me now.
Hello friend who is also another year older as of Sunday! Woot!
I say counselor, pretty much hands down. I’m waging a strong bet on this one with the whole “hands down” business, but I played black jack (I think that’s what it was?) this weekend and I’m feeling feisty!
I have to go to a conference today and tomorrow- I’ll check out the rugs, fosho.
I haven’t been reading your blog for very long at all but I think I’ll go for ‘B’.
I remember those offsite days. I became very familiar with the restrooms because I kept munching on the candy they provided and then getting so thirsty that I had to continuously drink the icy cold water. Could never figure out why they picked nice places to have ‘offsites’ when you don’t really get to enjoy the surroundings.
How’s the carpet today?
Why does that comment sound perverted?
You know, if I had an iPod Touch, I would find a way to use it during the meeting. There has to be a way. It all depends on where you are in the room in relation to the facilitator and the rest of the attendees. Send me a sketch of the room set up and where people are located and I’ll see if I can figure something out for you.
EVERYONE – in the interests of saving time I will post something new about this personality thing. Spending three days in meetings really threw me off my normal activities and the in-laws arrive tomorrow. As if we’ve had any time to clean or prepare.
Sicilian Mama – you should be ashamed of yourself. Shag!
ok so I’m late to the party but I’d go with (e) as well. shocking, really, that brookem and I agree on something, isn’t it?
ok, not really. anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t wish you a happy birthday but I did give you a shout out on the blog after the rundown of the heinous BF argument this weekend. anyhoodle. happy thursday.
Whatever you do, do NOT look at the carpet today and think about Merkins and burst out laughing.
Give me an E!
Don’t ask me why I wrote merkins with a capital letter. Must be my German ancestry leaking through.
HI! BACK! SOBER!
Happy belated, by the way.
Off-site work eh? Tell me, does it really break the day up or is it just the same-old same old in another location? Although those workshops into your own psyche are always interesting.
I thought I said Happy Birthday but I guess not, sorry I’m late and hope it was a good one!
(I’m a May also!)
Nobody’s gone with C yet but that was my first guess. I have met you in person only a few short hours and many of those were spent with pasta in our mouths or complaining about piss poor Bellingham waiters. But I’m guessing you’re C. Being a slave to a stupid clock is definitely a sign of weak behavior and that’s what a C fears.