Grand Theft Vélo

Eleven days ago I begrudingly signed up for a local triathlon.  I’ve only been in a pool three times since Anna was born in August of last year and on my bike twice.  However, I told myself I would do this triathlon no matter what shape I’m in.  If I’m 50 and my BMI is 38, I’m still going to do this triathlon… that’s what I told myself.

I’m happy to report I did the triathlon and felt really good about my output.  I didn’t break any personal records for this triathlon, but I was faster than last year’s effort.  I didn’t get frustrated with my fitness level and I kept positive thoughts pumping through my head.  The swim was good although my legs got tired early in the 14 minute open water swim.  I always forget how much I use my legs when swimming until they’re unresponsive.  The bike ride was great mainly because I got to see my wife and daughter cheering me on at the start.  That was an overwhelming experience which may have led to a tear or two.  

I didn’t bust ass on the bike, but I kept a nice steady pace and clocked an average speed of 18.5 mph over the 12 mile course.  Finally the run didn’t punish me as much as it did last year.  I started off slow and steady and was able to finish strong, clocking an improvement of 90 seconds over last year’s event.

I stayed true to my word by completing the triathlon and having fun in the process.  The mindset has shifted a bit in the past two years from kicking ass to using triathlons as a form of exercise.  Sunday night I scoured the internet looking for information on future triathlons.  A rebirth may be on the horizon.


Saturday my wife and I did some long overdue gardening.  We bought some plants and got them in pots.  See, buying plants is fun and easy.  It’s sort of like laundry.  I have no issues getting clothes in the washer and then the dryer.  It’s the folding and putting away of the clothes that sucks.  Same here with plants, buying rules.  Sticking them in the ground/pots once I get home, not a strength of mine.

While cleaning our planting work Saturday night, I contemplated packing our Subaru with my triathlon gear for a smooth early morning exit on Sunday.  Damn good thing I didn’t since someone decided to break into our Subaru.  I don’t leave anything of any value in the car because it has been burglarized a few times before.  Tonight I will be scribing notes with “fuck you” on them and sticking them in the glove box, ashtray, and other hiding spots of the car.  I do have to make sure Baby Singe doesn’t find them and bring them into daycare. 


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Curmudgeonly, Current Affairs, Sports, The Vigilante. Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to Grand Theft Vélo

  1. Congrats on the triathlon! And on your new outlook with it. I think that if people look at exercise as just a way to be active and have fun as opposed to something you have to do, then we’d all be leading pretty healthy, fulfilling lives.
    And that sucks about your Subaru but that was good foresight on your part. I think those “fuck you” notes are a good idea … Anna bringing them to daycare could make for a funny situation! And a blog story to boot.

  2. brookem says:

    Sweet work on the triathlon dude! You were my first TriMentor- and don’t think I’ll ever forget it!
    Wicked sucks about the wheels being busted into though, oof. Thank goodness you didn’t have your gear in there. That’s right, like I said, keep the sticky notes away from Annabelle’s little hands so that she doesn’t cause a ruckus at daycare.
    Are the teacher’s certified there? Just wondering.
    (Har har har)

  3. qt says:

    Congrats on the triathalon! I think it is easy to get caught up in the PR fever, but then it is too easy to tell yourself – fuck it, if I can’t PR then I won’t do it.
    That sucks about the car, but thank GOD you didn’t have all your stuff in there. Loving the new design….

  4. tori says:

    I’m sorry about the car. What a bummer!
    Congratulations on the tri! Isn’t it funny how priorities change once kids are thrown into the mix?
    And finally, we spent all night Saturday night planting some shrubs and flowers in front of our house. We bought them a while ago and if we did not plant them I think they would have been dead by today. What I am saying is that we are horrible at the planting part too. Why can’t it be as fun as the buying part?

  5. sprizee says:

    Ugh about the car break in. At least they didn’t smash a window to get inside. That’s been happening at my office lately. No good.
    Awesome about the triathlon. Go monkey go!

  6. Maggie says:

    Great Job Mr. Les Singes! Just doing a triathlon is an accomplishment – beating your last time is phenomenal.
    I love the notes idea.

  7. egan says:

    Essentially Me – you’re right about that, exercise shouldn’t be a task. It should be as fun as running around in the park or something. Or as fun as doing pushups in the rain in a park… you get the idea. The notes are going in the car before next weekend.
    Brookem – the teachers aren’t certified, very funny. I do love the triathlon culture and wish there I could get more involved. I should teach open water swimming. I’m going to catch a burglar in the act one of these days. Be very afraid.
    QT – I see you and I share a competitive gene. Considering the lack of training I did, I felt damn good about the outcome. As today passes, I’m starting to get more sore. Still worth it though. Glad you like the new design.
    Tori – it’s fun to design the new yard. Getting them in the dirt takes so much work. We bought a bunch of plants last fall which I’m still watering in their containers today. I will put those in this week. Go triathletes!
    Sprizee – I’m relieved they didn’t break a window, but it does make me uneasy to know they can get into my car at will. The notes must be added.
    Maggie – I figured you’d like the notes idea. Seems like something you might do too, or not. About six minutes into the swim, I’m not sure I was digging it. After I crossed the halfway point I felt much better though. Thanks.

  8. justrun says:

    Yeah! Way to do a race, dude! I should take a cue from that, but instead I think I’ll eat some chips.
    Sorry about the Subie. That’s a bummer, and I’d cry if someone broke into my Subie. 😦

  9. ms chica says:

    Woohooo! on the triathlon. Not the violation of the suburu. Maybe you could leave a set mousetrap under the FU note in the glove box. You know incase they don ‘t have time to read.

  10. meno says:

    A triathalon? I’m very impressed with you. Now sign up for another one.

  11. churlita says:

    Good job on the triathalon. I’ve never done one before> I don’t think I’d have any problem running and biking, but I don’t know if I would be a strong enough swimmer to finish one.

  12. There should be a monkey on that boat waving to us.

  13. Cléa says:

    I like the new design! And I’m so glad you kept your photo.
    And that’s so cute about baby singe and the notes. She’d get a troublemaker reputation right away!

  14. Pants says:

    Congrats on an excellent triathlon!
    BOO on car theft! I like your post-it idea…good call keeping them out of the little one’s hands for daycare! (Tee hee!)

  15. Sicilian Mama says:

    Glad the tri was good! Sorry your car got broken into. I’m with the rest of the commenters – the notes in random places in the car is a good idea. And I’m totally picturing Anna accidentally having a couple of those notes stuck to her as she entered daycare…it could be kind of funny. But I have a whack-ass sense of humour right now, so…yeah.

  16. Amanda says:

    WOW! Congratulations. It must have felt so good to finish the triathlon. Terrible news about your car though.

  17. sari says:

    Congratulations on the triathalon! I finally started walking again (my little guy is nine months old) and it has made me feel better, I was feeling pretty sluggish.
    Here was plant and things go well, but the it gets HOT and everything turns crispy in a matter of minutes. So it’s the throwing out of the dead stuff that I’m bad at. And nothing can be planted again until maybe mid October, it’s just too hot.

  18. kirk says:

    sorry about the car E. People that fuck with another man’s automobiles should be put down like a rabid dog.

  19. egan says:

    Justrun – I don’t like it when people mess with my Subie. If they only knew I was an Ironman. Ugh.
    Ms Chica – I think a mousetrap might be a good way to go. Knowing my luck I’d set it off and never be able to compete in another triathlon.
    Meno – damn right, you bet I will. I know for sure I’ll do one in September. I need to find one in August that won’t take me 12+ hours to finish.
    Churlita – you’d be surprised what you’re capable of completing. I totally bet you could do a triathlon.
    Essentially Me – there really should be a monkey waving. Sadly I didn’t create the image. I borrowed from TypePad’s selection of available templates.
    Cléa – the thought of my daughter being a troublemaker is a wee offputting. Let’s hope that doesn’t happen because she’s such a sweet little girl… until she wants something.
    Pants – I’m still thinking over the FU notes since it could aggrevate the intruders even more. I don’t want to incite a person who doesn’t have any standards of decency. I need to think this over a bit more. Thanks for the “thanks”. Aren’t you due for a haircut?
    Sicilian Mama – I think I should plaster Anna with Post-It™ notes just for fun. “take out the trash”, “water the plants”, “make time for nookie” … these would be fun.
    Amanda – crossing the finish line of a triathlon is always a good thing. I’ve only had one I couldn’t finish. Not finishing one of those puppies makes you appreciate the finish line even more.
    Sari – getting back on your feet, so to speak, after having a child isn’t any easy feat (no pun intended). It takes a lot of work. Kudos to your for walking, even during the heat. I can’t imagine how weird it would be to not plant year round. Seattle really does have some perks.
    Kirk – your comment produced a wonderful image in my head. Thank you kind sir.

  20. JLee says:

    Congratulations!! That is fantastic. It’s good to have some type of fitness challenge, no matter what the outcome. My coworker is doing a charity hiking thing and I may join them on some of their hikes, which seems fun.

  21. The Grunt says:

    I wish cars could double as a mouse trap of sorts and capture the lousy ingrates that break into our cars.

  22. Candace says:

    That’s fantastic about the triathlon!! I love how your new training regimen paid off. I’m kind of on a similar regimen for the next black belt test, though I broke it this week by starting to jumprope, and I do the occasional 100 situps and 100 pushups to make sure I can. 😛
    I can’t believe how many break-ins there are there. That’s sucky. Screw the notes, I say you should use mousetraps. ^_^

  23. Candace says:

    Ha! NOW I read The Grunt’s comment, LOL!

  24. Candace says:

    Ha! NOW I read The Grunt’s comment, LOL!

  25. Chris says:

    Congrats on the triathlon finish, well done. I need to get used to the new look around here.

  26. Lynn says:

    Congratulations on the triathlon! Why would people keep breaking into your Subaru????? Did they used to break into your Mini? Can’t these burglars find something more productive to do…like do your gardening? Maybe you should leave information about upcoming triathlons all around you car…maybe the burglars will take that up instead.

  27. desireeb says:

    The FU notes idea is awesome. Freekin hilarious.
    Congrats on your triathlon!

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