Holy cow, there’s a lot of angst on the internet recently. I’ve read a fair share of “hate” posts. So I thought I’d add to the misery since we love company. Are all bloggers melancholy or what? How’s that for a sweeping generalization?
I hate ice cream. I hate the way it tastes after 9:00pm while watching a reality tv show. It’s dreadful and never comforts me. I hate the way it feels in my mouth and how I’m powerless in its presence.
I hate the teddy bears. They scare me and shouldn’t be allowed in my bed no matter what. I’ve got a wife, therefore I don’t need a teddy bear. They’re a lousy excuse for a pillow.
I hate French. There’s a reason most of the world speaks English today. Get that in your head Frenchies. You’re not liked, you’re hated. There, suck on that. All those stupid silent letter and throat clearing noises are boring. Sacré shit!
Ha, global warming, I hate you. You don’t exist I don’t care what others say. I’m always a bit chilly so therefore the globe can’t be warming up. I know, I know, some think I’m silly for my hatred of global warming. Mark my words, polar bears will never go extinct in my lifetime.
I hate political ads. Have fun with that one.
I hate all products produced by Steve Jobs and anyone associated with him. They suck big time. They’re appear to be all slick and shit, but really they’re gimmicks. Anyone with half a brain can see it’s all about marketing. An iPod is just a vehicle to hook the masses.
I hate smarmy people. Speaking of words beginning with the letter S, I hate sarcasm because it’s typically used to mask one’s true feelings. They try to act like they’re understanding, but what they’re really doing is straddling the fence. Ugh, I really don’t like the sarcastic types.
Finally, I hate blogging and those who blog, bloggers. Yes, this very medium I use to pass along my message of hate is the bane of my existence. It teases me with with giggles from strangers near and far. Sometimes it jolts me awake in the middle of the night. Blog, to your room now!