A Bucket Full of Hate

Angryone
Holy cow, there’s a lot of angst on the internet recently. I’ve read a fair share of “hate” posts. So I thought I’d add to the misery since we love company. Are all bloggers melancholy or what? How’s that for a sweeping generalization?

I hate ice cream. I hate the way it tastes after 9:00pm while watching a reality tv show. It’s dreadful and never comforts me. I hate the way it feels in my mouth and how I’m powerless in its presence.

I hate the teddy bears. They scare me and shouldn’t be allowed in my bed no matter what. I’ve got a wife, therefore I don’t need a teddy bear. They’re a lousy excuse for a pillow.

I hate French. There’s a reason most of the world speaks English today. Get that in your head Frenchies. You’re not liked, you’re hated. There, suck on that. All those stupid silent letter and throat clearing noises are boring. Sacré shit!

Ha, global warming, I hate you. You don’t exist I don’t care what others say. I’m always a bit chilly so therefore the globe can’t be warming up. I know, I know, some think I’m silly for my hatred of global warming. Mark my words, polar bears will never go extinct in my lifetime.

I hate political ads. Have fun with that one.

I hate all products produced by Steve Jobs and anyone associated with him. They suck big time. They’re appear to be all slick and shit, but really they’re gimmicks. Anyone with half a brain can see it’s all about marketing. An iPod is just a vehicle to hook the masses.

I hate smarmy people. Speaking of words beginning with the letter S, I hate sarcasm because it’s typically used to mask one’s true feelings. They try to act like they’re understanding, but what they’re really doing is straddling the fence. Ugh, I really don’t like the sarcastic types.

Finally, I hate blogging and those who blog, bloggers. Yes, this very medium I use to pass along my message of hate is the bane of my existence. It teases me with with giggles from strangers near and far. Sometimes it jolts me awake in the middle of the night. Blog, to your room now!

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About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Don't Quit Your Day Job, Doting Dude, Opinionated, Raging Dork, The Vigilante. Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to A Bucket Full of Hate

  1. kirk says:

    I love sarcasm. I’m a sarcastic sonofabitch.

  2. egan says:

    Kirk – yes, I can tell.
    Sprizee – I will be nice, tomorrow!

  3. brookem says:

    har har har.
    i love that you said smarmy.

  4. Maggie says:

    Je ne crois pas un mot que vous dites.
    So there.
    Btw, nous sommes tous de belles fleurs. HA!

  5. egan says:

    Brookem – sometimes I do things to impress certain bloggers such as using the word “smarmy”. I guess you took the bait. Thanks.
    Maggie – mon dieu, tu parles français. So there is right. I’m très impressed.

  6. Cléa says:

    Et moi, je deteste tout ce qui est francais.

  7. egan says:

    Cléa – oui, je suis d’accord. Les français m’enervent beaucoup! Leur langue! C’est nulle! Les gens sont simples. Il doit parler anglais.

  8. justrun says:

    HA! I hate you and that picture.

  9. You already know my thoughts on this post, but I just had to comment to say I L-O-V-E that picture of Anna!

  10. JLee says:

    I feel just like that picture of Anna. haha
    I am in a blogging funk and very unmotivated, but tomorrow I am posting something that makes me laugh…

  11. I had to come back to say that she looks so much like you in that photo! And her hair is getting so blonde … I loves it!

  12. egan says:

    Justrun – you’re so mean. Now come over here so I can give you a hug.
    Essentially Me – you’re so full of LOVE and that’s alright with me. Hey, did you see The Office last night? Oops, I said no more guilt trip. I will stop.
    JLee – sorry you’re in a funk. You can always do what I do and post a lame picture and see what happens. Or you can always ask questions of your readers.
    Essentially Me – you think she looks like me? A few people have said this. I do think she looks mom too, but so far she’s all dad.

  13. EmmaVita says:

    Classic picture. LOL. COMPLETELY looks like you here, food and everything. 🙂 Hahaha

  14. mez says:

    …yes I also hate everything except posts about hating things. I love posts about hate.
    Also, if there was ever ANY doubt about the paternal heritage of Anna, this picture hits back!! That face has Egan written aaaaaallll over it 😀

  15. Pants says:

    I love to hate!

  16. egan says:

    EmmaVita – you think she looks like me? I don’t see it. I mean she has my hair and such, but other than that… okay, you’re right.
    Mez – I suppose you’re right. I guess she’s a spitting image of her dad right now. Someday that will change.
    Pants – yes, you’re so full of piss and vinegar. That’s something my dad would say. I honestly have no clue what it really means.

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