FKT: Kleenex

FktkleenexHo hum… Wednesday afternoon was kind of slow at work. My cubicle mate and I chatted about life and shifted topics to marriage proposals. We discussed the intimate details of how I didn’t get down on bended knee to propose to my wife. Instead she received a surprise handwritten note which was secretly placed inside a plastic Easter egg.

Additionally, I revealed how my wife didn’t take my last name when I placed the ring on my wife’s left hand. Both of these revelations perplexed him greatly. As far as the last name goes, my wife’s last name is very unique, rhymes with mazel tov. I didn’t see any reason for her to relinquish a lifelong identity simply because she and I exchanged vows. Her name is such a big part of who she is. Would you read this blog if my name was Joe Smith? Maybe you would because you’d think I was some Mormon prophet and discover I just came from a large family. Who knows.

Anyways, some marriage traditions are a tad old school in my mind. I wasn’t about to drop to a knee or ask her father for consent to marry his daughter. As long as I’ve developed a relationship with him and his daughter, there wasn’t a need to ask him for his blessing. Perhaps I’m naive in the traditions of marriage because it’s only happened once,… or maybe just naive in general.

My officemate chuckled at my expense when I mentioned the engagement ring snafu. There’s not much to tell here other than I thought the diamond was included. I didn’t know the the “diamond” in the band wasn’t real. It’s not like I spent my formative years hanging out in jewelry stores.

*Dull FKT Disclaimer – Feel free to mock or copy this crap idea of mine if you want. Don’t feel obligated to do this thing every Thursday and shit. Don’t fret, I won’t send harassing emails to you on a weekly basis demanding you post some hot picture on your blog. That’s way too much work for me and besides, I find reading other blogs boring. I try and spend as little time as possible reading and/or commenting on blogs. I prefer to spread my love for random people in other ways. I don’t feel like delving into those sorts of details pubicly on my blog. Gnome sane?


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Officially Bizarre, Opinionated, Raging Dork, Storytelling. Bookmark the permalink.

27 Responses to FKT: Kleenex

  1. meno says:

    Gnome yer sane.
    my husband’s last name IS smith. for reals.

  2. Felisa says:

    I’ve long been thinking about the changing my last name bit. The most drastic thing I will do will hyphenate my name. I really don’t want to drop my last name. However, I must admit that the idea of being called Mrs. *insert husbands name here* sounds sweet because it signifies a couple’s union. But a part of me thinks that a woman loses so much of her identity by doing that… Why can’t a man be Mr. *insert wife’s name here*? That’s the feminist side of me talking. 😛
    I think if you’re both fine with her keeping her last name, that’s cool. I can’t imagine being a guy and forcing my wife to take my last name if she doesn’t want to.

  3. egan says:

    Meno Smith – well isn’t that cute. I’m glad you took his name because there’s something very special about saying Meno Smith. It rolls off the tongue.
    Felisa – hyphenate away I say! It’s not something my wife wanted to do so she stuck to her own name. Aren’t there other ways to signify a couple’s relationship than a silly name? It’s a bit possessive if you ask me. If I had my wife’s last name, there would never ever be another person with my name to walk the planet.

  4. Chris says:

    I happen to be fond of you and since you’ve provided so many excellent FKT’s, you get a pass.

  5. egan says:

    Chris – well aren’t you the charmer! Don’t make me kick your ass.

  6. justrun says:

    Good thing your name is Egan, because I wouldn’t read your blog if your name was Joe.

  7. sizzle says:

    That picture reminds me of Napkin Head in The Holiday. When Jude Law puts the napkin on his face to entertain his daughters. Cute.
    I don’t think I would change my last name if I ever got hitched. My first name is so odd that nothing really goes with it (but my boring last name).

  8. Maggie says:

    wait, you mean you buy the band and then have to specify that you want a real diamond in it?
    (I wouldn’t know, I didn’t buy mine)
    I think the ‘traditions’ are antiquated in many senses. And in this day and age, who cares? What is important is the marriage, the love, the commitment. Knee or not, you are a good husband and father. Let him chuckle. I say gah! Gah!
    Disclosure: I didn’t take my husband’s name either. Part laziness about the forms and more importantly because we couldn’t afford an international adoption procedure for my oldest son. So to keep his familial continuity I kept our last name and husband and the twins have husband’s last name. How’s that for screwed up in the minds of the traditional?

  9. Bob says:

    I wasn’t willing to change my last name so I figured she had every right to keep hers. I imagine it would have been a bigger deal 40 years ago, but we are not so rare anymore. A friend of mine from college had parents who chose a new last name which they both changed their names to.
    We each have our own path, what’s funny is that I’m still judgmental. I take issue with hyphenation, because I wonder where will it all end?

  10. Cléa says:

    I’m going to have a dream about this FKT. Then rip your Kleenex off. Can you handle it?

  11. Gwen says:

    Dood. Thanks for the ensuing nightmares.
    I didn’t change my name either, something my mother still “forgets,” even though we’ve been married for almost 13 years. But then I was pissed at her when she proudly took her new husband’s name after 40+ years of having my father’s last name, so I’m guessing our issues go deeper than tradition. 😉

  12. tori says:

    When I got married I took my husband’s last name. I did it because I knew I wanted a gaggle of kids and thought it might be confusing if we had different last names. Does your daughter have your last name or your wife’s? It is interesting because lately my kids have been talking about how they want to keep their last name if/when they get married. Either way is fine with me, it is just always interesting to hear the reasons why people do or don’t take their husband’s last name.

  13. SM says:

    I changed my name when I got married…we talked about it beforehand and my husband didn’t really care one way or another – if I wanted to keep my name he would have been cool with it. I can’t remember why I chose to change it, but I did. Personally, I don’t think changing my name compromised my personality at all – to me it’s just a surname. My personality is more tied to my first name…in my opinion.
    All that being said, if I had had degrees or other certifications in my maiden name I probably would have kept my maiden. The name change process was a bitch and I still have quite a few accounts that i’ve never changed to my married because the process is too involved.

  14. logo says:

    wow, I had no idea about the stone thing either, dang
    The name thing never made much difference to me. My maiden name was somewhat unique, but not my married name isn’t all that common either.
    Hyphenating would have sounded weird. I love how Jones sounds good hyphenated with just about anything. If any future daughters in law want to keep their maiden names, I would be totally cool with that. I don’t think it’s as big a deal a as it used to was :p
    I havent thought of FKT for so long, that was awesome

  15. brookem says:

    i don’t understand about the diamond? it’s not real, unless you ask? what?
    i think your proposal by way of egg was very sweet and shows a lot of thought. im not gung on anything in particular.
    (remember the boys II men song, down on bended knee? oof.)

  16. Golden says:

    I’m diggin the wallpaper, looks rather like people in compromising positions.

  17. Now that is a hot look if I do say so myself.

  18. tori says:

    One more thing. I have no idea what you are talking about with the diamond thing. I am not a guy, but what? The diamond doesn’t come with the ring? Then how do you do that?
    And I think the proposal is sweet with the easter egg. I love creativity, and the traditional stuff just seems really outdated to me. My dad doesn’t own me, why as him if you can “have” me you know? My husband didn’t ask my dad and he didn’t get down on one knee either.

  19. Pants says:

    When we get married I’m going to use my maiden name as my middle name…since my parents didn’t give me a middle name.
    I’ve always thought that asking permission to marry is old fashioned and silly but Mike is traditional and I’m coming to find it charming now, instead of old fashioned.

  20. emma says:

    Did you ever replace the rock?
    Points for the egg thing, though. Kinda endearing.

  21. LiLu says:

    Oh my lord… the ring thing is too funny! At least she probably got to pick the one she wanted… 😉
    I totally agree with you on the name thing, too. IF I had an original or different last name, I definitely wouldn’t change it. As it is, it’s probably more common than Smith, so if it’s important to my hubby, sure, I will. But only because I don’t feel like my own last name gives me a unique identity that I’ve related to all these years.

  22. courtspark says:

    Perhaps since we are so strongly opposed to “tradition” then we should do away with marriage all together. I mean, after all what is more “traditional” than marriage? Or surely we can do away with the tradition of diamond engagement rings, can’t we? I mean if the point is to do away with all traditions we have to be careful we don’t miss any. Or alternatively we can be accepting of people and their cultures. Some people enjoy and embrace traditions, others adopt alternatives. What if we were equally accepting of either practice? No? Then let’s be sure we eliminate all traditions including religious and ethnic/cultural traditions. Let’s be as condemnatory and intolerant of the traditions you practice (engagement rings) as you are of the practices of others (last names).

  23. egan says:

    Justrun – that’s what I thought. Good thing Egan isn’t my real name.
    Sizzle – you have a magnificently unique first name. Aw, I know exactly what scene you’re talking about in The Holiday. I didn’t even think about that when I got bored Wednesday night.
    Maggie – see, I knew I liked you for a reason. I recall seeing the Change of Name kit and thinking what the hell. It was a box the size XP install kit or something. Yes, this particular store didn’t include the diamond. I still don’t know to this day if that’s normal or not. Now. I did ask many times if it was a “conflict diamond” or not and I suppose if it’s fake, damn right it’s not a conflict diamond.
    Bob – I hear you about the 40 years ago thing. I guess I’m surprised how uncommon it still is for a woman not to change her name. Very few married women I know haven’t changed their last names. By the way, sorry we missed you last weekend. Next time for sure. How was the wedding?
    Cléa – you bet I can handle it. No using my Kleenex though. Do they call them Kleenex down there or is it a facial tissue?
    Gwen – my mother-in-law sometimes addresses stuff to her daughter using my last name. I think on some level she doesn’t want to use her ex-husband’s last name. Who knows. My daughter has my last name, but will probably follow her mom and not change her name, when (or if) that day ever comes. Hey, don’t have bad dreams about Kleenex face.
    Tori – my daughter has my last name. So far there haven’t been any issues with her having a different last name than her mother. Perhaps when she’s in school that may change, but for now it’s all good.
    SM – damn right the name change thing is a bitch. It makes you wonder why a woman has to jump through so many more hoops than guys come time for a wedding/marriage. Guys really do have it easy.
    Logo – I haven’t done an FKT in a long time and I was running lean on content. Hyphenating was just out of the question for my wife. Yeah, the diamonds were fake in the store where I bought.
    Brookem – I didn’t know they were fake either, thankfully there was some time between my decent proposal and our wedding to get a real diamond. Boys II Men are back again…
    Golden – not wallpaper. It’s a cheesy Ikea print most likely found in every 7th home in the United States.
    Essentially Me – damn right it’s hot and easily Chris’s favourite of the FKT litter.
    Tori – thanks, the proposal just came together in a nice little package. It happened about nine years ago. I didn’t know it either, but apparently the display bands don’t contain the diamonds. I guess it makes sense since they probably don’t want a ton of diamonds in a store for security reasons. Put a fake one in the band to make sell and then you buy the real deal.
    Pants – Mrs. Lessinges considered the middle name option and that stood the best chance. Old fashioned can be charming.
    Emma – of course, before we got “mauied” we made sure there was a real one in place. The egg thing is much sweeter than I made it out to be in this post. I have blogged about it a few times so I tried to spare those who’ve already heard about it. I got it on videotape too.
    Lilu – the band was totally something she wanted, but I downplayed the whole ring thing so she never knew. I dismissed it as not the right time so when the surprise engagement happened, it was truly a surprise. Yes, she did get to pick her own diamond and perhaps split the cost since we had a joint bank account.
    Courtspark – hello and welcome to my blog. I won’t disagree with you about marriage being traditional one bit. My wife wears one smallish diamond on her left hand. We bought a very simple wedding band for the wedding. I’m not saying doing away with all the traditions though. I’m just stating how my co-worker reacted to something I shared with him. I’m not sure I ever implied I wasn’t accepting of other people’s cultures or traditions. Are you speaking in vague terms here? Um, you seem to have issues with what I say. No biggie, that’s what blogs are about. I’d love to read more of what you have to say. Care to link to a blog?

  24. Michelle says:

    I wanted to keep my maiden name, but you know why I changed it? My husband didn’t care one way or another but my mother in law is so old fashioned she about had a heartattack at the thought. So, I changed my name to keep the peace. It was my husband who mattered though, he’d have been upset that his mother was so upset. If I wasn’t 18 at the time of getting married things may have been different.

  25. churlita says:

    I hyphenated my name (I know, shut-up) but I loved my last name and my ex had an awesome last name too. His is of a particular saw shaped mountain chain in California, so I took them both.

  26. egan says:

    Michelle – keeping the peace in the family is important, probably much more important if you getting married young. I totally get it.
    Churlita – hey, whatever works. Sierra? Cascade? I see why you’d keep that wicked cool last name.

  27. Tanya says:

    I didnt take my partners last name either…Mrs Lowrey is his mother after all. Our 2nd son also has my last name as I am one of three girls (the other two HAVE taken their partners names) and had I not passed it on it would have stopped with me. It was James (my partners)idea. So we have a Lowrey and a Veitch no separately …no hyphens and my god does it confuse the hell out of people.
    I didnt get an engagement ring with a diamond either just a couple of small saphires and a plain (second hand) wedding ring. I stopped wearing both a couple of years later as my fingers swell for a couple of weeks every month and if I forgot to remove them before I spent two weeks with a permanent ache. Five years ago they were both stolen (thats what you get for living in a LDC). So I am ringless but still married for 16 years. My partner still wears a wedding ring but it is not the original…he lost that in a gate post hole he was digging…nor the replacement which he lost river boarding in the Kawarau river NZ. Its just not that important in the scheme of things!
    Love your blog by the way. Made me laugh..

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