Because sometimes one has to come up for air

Baby Singe loves to play

A journal is meant to be used so here I am saying hello. Life has slightly changed for me, but I wouldn’t say for the worse. It’s simply a new life and takes some adjustment though I’m happy to report I’ve emerged from the fog. I feel like a new me is here and elated to have the events of my past 12 months behind me.

In case you’re not fully aware the following events transpired in my life the past 12 months. Job loss, separation, new job, new residence, family death, putting a house on the market, and dating again. I think it’s time I share this with everyone because I once again like who I am. Not that I was in a super dark hole, but there were times when I just didn’t want to share. My friends have been there through the thick and thin lending me their ears and shoulders. What makes me most happy during this process is there have been no visible signs of shared friends taking sides. Sure a few friends may get lost in the shuffle, but I’m proud to report the attrition rate is extremely low.

Here I am, 38, single and a father. Mrs. Lessinges and I are still good friends so don’t fret too much. We chat daily as we both have Baby Singe’s interests and growth at heart. I’d say Baby Singe is doing fairly well with her own new life. We talk often about her new two house lifestyle. There are times, such as yesterday, where she says “dad, I still wish we only had one house“. That’s tough for me to hear, yet I’m thrilled she’s talking about it. I asked her why and she promptly replies “so I can give you and mom both a hug whenever I want“. Sad, yes… but, I’m also very proud of our girl for voicing her concerns.

Selling our house is a big hurdle and hopefully it will move fast, however I’m not terribly optimistic given the state of the housing market. Maintaining a mortgage and rent has been a drain on our finances, which necessitates the sale of the home. Lots of work has been done to make the house look as appealing as possible for potential buyers, so now it’s a waiting game.

Romance! Well, I may have to save that for another post. One needs teasers right? Thanks all who’ve checked in on me offline as well as via other social networking outlets. It’s great to know you all care. You’re the best!


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Baby Singe, Current Affairs, Grown-ups. Bookmark the permalink.

22 Responses to Because sometimes one has to come up for air

  1. M says:

    I am happy you are doing so well with so many adjustments during the last year. I am also happy you and Mrs Lessinges are managing so well for the benefit of your wee one. Truly wonderful.

    • egan says:

      Thanks M, it has been a tough road. We’re getting there and I think a new normal is finally taking roots. Our little one turns four tomorrow. Wow!

  2. Mary says:

    Yeah, you’re back! Checked your blog often, been concerned for you and now good news that things are going … well enough. I’m sure there are ups and downs to all the adjustments taking place for every one of you and so pleased you are working together to help Baby Singe cope. Hope you are finding time for your running and outdoor recreation which is always good for the soul. Thanks for posting the update!

    • egan says:

      Mary I appreciate you checking in on me. Life is getting better and I have made time for running and outdoor stuff which is definitely helping my mood. Baby Singe is doing a pretty good job with all of this. Sometimes it’s tough to tell what’s related to the separation vs. just being four. All in all, we’re super proud of how she’s doing.

  3. Heather Hurd says:

    Glad you’re checking in again, and SO glad to hear you’re back in a good place.

  4. Chris says:

    If I start going here, it’ll get way too long and ultimately, it can be bioled down to a few point:
    1. Good stuff.
    2. Impressive parenting.
    3. Good luck with the house sale and be open minded considiering the market.
    4. I’m always avalable for a chat.

    Rock on superstar!

    • lessinges says:

      Well hello there Chris. I like your list of items kind sir and appreciate your availableness to chat. I will hit you up as I know you’ve got some experience in this arena. How are you doing personally? We’re both very committed to making sure Anna is on the right track.

      The house, well I can only say I’m crossing my fingers and hoping for the very best.

      • Chris says:

        I am doing well. Spent most of the last year taking care of my health and wellness – dropped 35 pounds and exercising every day…making a major difference.

      • lessinges says:

        Chris, congrats on shedding the 35 pounds. It’s amazing what that will do for your self confidence. I’ve dropped about 10 pounds and feel heaps better about my body image and dating again.

  5. Michi says:

    I had absolutely no idea. I knew that the past year had been a rough one due to the job loss, but I didn’t know the rest. I’m really glad to hear that things are looking up again for you, and that Baby Singe has two of the greatest parents allowing her to express her concerns. Best of luck with this new life chapter, Mr. Lessinges.

    • lessinges says:

      Yeah, I’m not surprised you didn’t have any idea Michi. I have intentionally kept it on the down low. I didn’t post this blog entry to Facebook for a reason. Most on there know, but I’m not so keen on advertising it to everyone, at least not yet. Thanks for the well wishes about me and the family.

  6. Bob says:

    Wow, did not see that coming. I’m glad you’re able to be friends and be a parenting team. Our wee little one turns four in a week and a half. May you find joy in the new normal.

    • Bob, I thought there was a chance you may have learned about this via the grapevine. Well, it was tough to separate, but I do believe it is the right thing in the long run. I think Scott’s wedding hammered home how far apart we had drifted over the past few years. I’m happy I get to see you at the end of next month. The new normal is in progress right now and it feels pretty good.

  7. Sizzle says:

    My nephew has said the same about having 2 houses. It IS great that she can put her feelings into words. It’s hard on everyone when parents split. I’m glad to hear you’re re-emerging. Good luck with selling your house!

    • The two house thing can be fun for a child at first, but then the reality sets in that the two house thing is permanent and it becomes a bit more sad. For me, I truly miss her having friends to play with in the neighborhood. We had so many kids for her to play with at the old house. She gets to see them half the time still. I just don’t have the same luxury at my place therefore I end up playing chase and riding bikes with her. Not a bad thing, but I enjoy her meeting and making new friends her age.

      Thanks for the well wishes on the house. I will be sad to see it go, but so happy to have some extra money in my pockets. Re-emerging feels nice Sizzle, very nice.

  8. msbrookie says:

    I’ve been wondering where you ventured off to and am glad you’re back, although sad to learn why you’ve been away. I’ve also become the worst blogger ever but have given in to summer I guess. Anyways, wanted to drop a line to say Welcome Back and See You Soon!11 🙂

    • lessinges says:

      Ms Brookie, thanks for checking in on me. I needed some time for “myself” over the past few months to regroup a bit. I’m feeling so so so much better than 3-4 months ago. Blogging is work and summer is short here so why spend much time staring at a monitor? Outside is where it’s at. I appreciate the encouraging words.

  9. meno says:

    I had no idea. I’m sorry about all the changes. Life is hard sometimes. Dating? Oh man.

    • lessinges says:

      Meno, most folks had no idea because it’s not one of those thing one goes around chatting about your spare time. Yes, dating again gave me light at the end of the tunnel. I’m a social creature so it has been nice to get out and meet new people. I’m happy to report I’m content, very content.

  10. Felisa says:

    Yeah I’ve completely sucked at being online. I haven’t even had half as many life changes as you recently… I was still reading through my reader every once in awhile though and was wondering about you! For some reason, I guess I missed this post for awhile.

    Anyway, glad to hear that it sounds like you’re taking a positive attitude about it all! The kid being caught in the middle will always be the hardest part. At the place where I worked right after high school, I became really close to my boss as he was going through his divorce. It was heartbreaking to hear the kids talk about it and it was shattering to see how much it broke HIS heart that his 2 kids listed “For Mommy and Daddy to get back together” as their ONLY wish in their Christmas wish list to Santa (true story). But even just a couple of years later, both kids are well-adjusted and happy. It helps IMMENSELY when even if the parents have their personal differences, they are able to come together for the best interest of their children.

    Good luck with everything — the job, the house, dating!

  11. mez says:

    wrote a sentence and deleted it about a million times. Will an e-hug do instead? Hope all is as okay – it sounds like you’re taking things in your stride. I know plenty of well adjusted children of separated folks – Ms. Curly Top will be a-ok and so will you ❤

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