I have an account on Facebook. Not a shocker or anything, but today I shared that it was a sad day for me. Not surprising given stuff happening in my life right now.

Someone asked why’d I would share my private sentiments in a public forum. Truth be told I don’t see my sentiments as private though because I think there’s much to be gained from a sharing situation. I’m sure there are plenty out there who have been in my shoes. I can’t be the first dad in his late thirties to get divorced. Sometimes it feels like I am the only one, but I know it’s definitely not the case.

To the casual observer, sure it may seem odd to post a vague statement online about how I’m feeling. The reward though is easy to find. Allowing myself to explain why I’m sad to various people encourages me to take a step back and assess where I am and how far I’ve come. It is a good thing in my eyes. It wasn’t my attempt to pander, it was merely what was truly on my mind.

Why the sadness you ask? The house we purchased together is now officially vacant. There are memories in every corner of the house. Going in my daughter’s vacant room made me quite sad. It was her first room, the only room she knew prior to my moving out at the end of April. All the diapers, decorations, and sleepless nights spent in that room. I know I know, the memories will always be there, it just made me stop and pause a bit.

I’m honestly thrilled my ex-wife found a cute place to live in a fun part of town I’m relieved we are friends through all this, working with her to make the best decisions for our amazing daughter. Tough days will happen, yet l’d like to point out I’m at peace with my new and evolving life. I have much to be thankful for during this Week of Thanks.


About lessinges

Seattle native, discovering life! I like ice cream, cold cereal, and The Amazing Race.
This entry was posted in Current Affairs, Don't Quit Your Day Job and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Cathartic

  1. Lesley G says:

    I think it’s good to have these feelings. They hurt and they are not comfortable, but so often our society is fooled by the idea that feelings and processes that are positive and uplifting are the only things we should experience. But that’s not real. Tough days are real. I think letting yourself feel it and go through it is the only way to grow from it. Sunshine and rainbows and ponies are great, but they are rarely what makes us better.

    • lessinges says:

      Lesley G – this is so true. It is all part of the process and I’d be concerned about myself if I didn’t feel sad. As someone I know likes to say, “it’s not all unicorns and butterflies” and that’s rather fitting. Positive feelings are great, but it’s okay to be sad and cry from time to time. That’s what I keep telling myself at least.

  2. Bob says:

    I can only imagine what you’re going through, but from the outside observer you seem to be handling it pretty well. With your skill with sharing your feelings you should write down your marriage experience in a book. Maybe call it, “How to keep on living, a manual on surviving a divorce”. Oh, and get a foreword from NPo, and a couple of chapters if you can swing it. It will give you more street-cred.

    • lessinges says:

      I’m all about establishing street cred Bob. I appreciate the compliment about how I seem to be doing. It’s a rough road, but it doesn’t have to be an entirely bitter road. We’ll see, maybe I will find my way again and blog more about surviving a divorce and the life after it. “surviving” makes it sound so bleak, granted it sort of is… yet it doesn’t have to be.

  3. meno says:

    Ah Egan, we are taking this sad journey at the same time. Peace and courage to you.

  4. msbrookie says:

    That is indeed sad and you have every right to feel it and express it however you wish. Glad to hear things are going as well as they can.

    • lessinges says:

      Ms Brookie – you’re right, I do have that right. It’s not a joyous time, yet it doesn’t have to be as painful as some imagine. It does take a ton of cooperation and coordination with someone you knew well.. and most likely still know well. It’s a special challenge, that’s for darn sure.

  5. Matt says:

    Clearly I’m a bit behind. I’m sorry for the sadness, happy for your possibilities.

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