Hello, it has been quite some time since I used this forum. I guess I’m brought back here when I feel a need to share how I’m feeling. My life is going much better than this time last year. I’m gainfully employed training people how to use software.
That’s not what I’m here to talk about though. It’s the Wednesday thing. Wednesdays are when I drop-off my daughter at her grade school in the morning and won’t see her for a few days, or in this week’s case… until next Monday. After almost two years of a similar routine, this day of the week still plagues me. It tears at my heartstrings to know I won’t see her for 3-5 days. While I appreciate the down time, I definitely miss her presence during those days. Her energy and view of the world gives me great comfort.
When I wasn’t working, I would bridge this time by volunteerng at her school or taking her out for lunch on Fridays. When you work, those aren’t viable options so I’m left here daydreaming about her, smiling, reflecting, and perhaps tearing up a bit. I love who my daughter is and all her greatness and faults. For example, this week I sold my beloved 1999 Subaru Impreza. We loved that car, yes both of us loved it. I had to break the news to her Monday after school about the car’s status. Guess what? She cried when I told her the Subaru had been sold. I expected her to be sad, but to cry and ask questions about it as if she lost a friend? That was cute and probably similar to how I’d react as a child. It warmed my heart. We went on to have a nice discussion how we loved the car, but how we can love other cars as well and be thankful for our current circumstances.
The Impreza is simply an object, but I like that she emotes. I hear parents telling their kids “don’t cry Peter, it will be fine” and it makes me cringe. We have feelings so why not express them? Sometimes it’s a tear, sometimes it’s frustration, and sometimes it’s a nice hug before drifting off to sleep surrounded by 18 stuffed animals in your bed.